"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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I took it too far...

KillingTime

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i met this girl a while back and everything was going great but I might have accidentally taken the "playing hard to get/teasing" thing a little too far.... ive been flirting with her like crazy and teasing her etc. and getting a positive reaction but to be honest I was enjoying the chase so much that I completely put off actually asking her out and taking it further.
A mistake on my part but now I heard that she told a friend that she has just gotten tired of it and thinks that im never going to ask her out and was just being a tease or im just too shy or something. I talked to her a few times in the past two weeks and she's still friendly but she's not as flirty as she was a while back and just seems really distant now.

I guess i got a little too ****y with this one and figured she would chase me forever, is there a way too save the situation? i hesistate to ask her out now b/c her IL was very high but now that she has gotten tired of this it seems to be a lot lower, basically I would like to get her IL back up to where it was and this time take action immediately.
Possible? If so what should I do? Back off for a while? Keep talking to her?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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sfalexi

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Why don't you say something like, "Hey, what's the deal? When are you going to ask me out?" Sorta turning the tables as though you expected her to do it. Might work.
 

Wyldfire

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Nothing is more discouraging to a woman who is interested in a guy than having him send all the signals and signs of interest and then not take action. Sounds like her discouragement shifted into being disgusted and just giving up.
 

KillingTime

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Yeah i know, but i like being chased.... but lesson learned which is the important thing. I'll try the table turning thing and if it doesn't work well my bad, she'll live.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Wyldfire

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Originally posted by KillingTime
Yeah i know, but i like being chased.... but lesson learned which is the important thing. I'll try the table turning thing and if it doesn't work well my bad, she'll live.
I wouldn't advise doing the table turning thing unless you want her to really dislike you. You'd be better off just saying "Hey, I meant to ask you out a month ago but was having so much fun flirting with you that I didn't get around to it. Wanna go "insert date idea here"?

If you try to turn the tables it will seem to her that you are placing the blame for you dragging your feet onto her...and she's already upset over it. The last thing you want to do is try to make it look like it's her fault you were a bonehead...it'll just make her angry.
 
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