"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I think I turned a corner

Comatozed

Senior Don Juan
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Had a date arranged with plate but we didn't settle on the venue.

She was dinning with friends in town and I told her to come meet me at xyz bar which is near mine in an hour and a half.

She agreed. 15 mins before we're due to meet she realizes the bar is near mine and not near town (5 minute cab ride).

She goes into major **** test/control mode. 'I'm not coming there, you come to me etc etc' - she rings me too.

'if you can't be bothered to make the effort then why should I' etc, etc.
'you only want to go there so we can go to yours after'

Now I new when I decided to say the bar near mine she will likely object and I couldn't cave to her demands, so I did weigh it up before deciding to tell her to come here rather than telling her I'd come to town.

Going to her would be a major loss of frame after setting out my stall.

A big part of me was tempted to go to her, I do actually quite like her. But I didn't get drawn into the chick logic arguments and maintained frame. I soft nexted her and will be interested to see how she responds when I do contact her.

She was saying I only want sex whereas my argument was I wouldve come to town had she said earlier but it was too late for me to get that far at that time.

Need to find the right balance of telling her I don't just want her for sex and not being beta.

What would you say?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Greasy Pig

Master Don Juan
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Good call. Going to her would've been a major pvssy move. Keep her in the backburner and spin plates who actually want to go a little bit out of their way to see you.
 

Comatozed

Senior Don Juan
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She's gotten right into line. Feels good man.

Text saying sorry and she was now available thursday despite her saying she wasn't when I tried to rearrange on Tues when it was apparent neither of us were budging on our stance.

And she is coming to the bar near mine to boot.

I've learnt that to have success you either need to do what you want 0 ****s given, or if you're kinda apathetic in general like me, just don't do what she wants purely to maintain frame, even if you wouldn't actually mind doing what she wants.
 
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