I think I made a huge mistake =/

Marcel Corradi

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I'm posting it cause I'm feeling really lost this time.

I started a LTR some months ago, basically I think I deceived myself cause I was dealing with depression that time and maybe I believed that this girl was the only one by my side. Also I was fighting with a STD infection cause I got a girl and I felt really bad (I was not on that LTR when it happened) and start blaming myself for that mistake.

So now that everything is going ok, I'm just figuring that women pretend to be something all the time, and that one that I thought that was the right one is just the same as other girls. I'm observing some small lies and I think this could become biggest lies someday.

I would like some advice to understand it better.

Thanks
 
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backseatjuan

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It's quite simple with women, really; A woman's perspective on dating life is as following - date a guy, find out what he's all about, at the same time date other dudes, just so that there are more options for her. A guy's perspective on dating is the following - find one girl, pick her on her looks and availability, buy into her game, and develop a false believe that this woman's is one and only. If you ask me, women have much healthier outlook on dating.

Women like masculinity in men, when they observe feminine traits they see a beta male, a good guy, and a provider. That's when women take advantage of men. Which is basically what happened to you.

STD is a bad thing man, I hope it's not AIDS! It's hard to get an STD, how did you manage to do it?

There isn't much to do here but to start afresh. You need to develop alpha male traits, which is not that hard, you need to remove neediness, and you need to date other women. Right now there is absolutely nothing stopping you from, while you are in this relationship, to go online, create a profile, put your best pics up, and get yourself a date. (& this one too)

The solution is simple, if you don't like your relationship and if you have doubts about it, you just look for something new.

Now, it's much better to do dating the way women do. Your time being the most valuable thing to you, why waste it on one woman, when you can spin plates.
 

Marcel Corradi

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It's quite simple with women, really; A woman's perspective on dating life is as following - date a guy, find out what he's all about, at the same time date other dudes, just so that there are more options for her. A guy's perspective on dating is the following - find one girl, pick her on her looks and availability, buy into her game, and develop a false believe that this woman's is one and only. If you ask me, women have much healthier outlook on dating.

Women like masculinity in men, when they observe feminine traits they see a beta male, a good guy, and a provider. That's when women take advantage of men. Which is basically what happened to you.

STD is a bad thing man, I hope it's not AIDS! It's hard to get an STD, how did you manage to do it?

There isn't much to do here but to start afresh. You need to develop alpha male traits, which is not that hard, you need to remove neediness, and you need to date other women. Right now there is absolutely nothing stopping you from, while you are in this relationship, to go online, create a profile, put your best pics up, and get yourself a date. (& this one too)

The solution is simple, if you don't like your relationship and if you have doubts about it, you just look for something new.

Now, it's much better to do dating the way women do. Your time being the most valuable thing to you, why waste it on one woman, when you can spin plates.

Thanks a lot for your reply man!

About the STD it was not HIV, was just Chalmydia and I took medicine and cure that. Btw fortunately I've made all exams to check another STDs and they were all negative, which made me much more calmer.

I have a thought that I just started this relationship cause I felt really guilty about getting this infection and also I don't have a good relationship with my dad, so he always reinforce how much he think I'm a **** and make everything wrong. Perhaps I have seen this woman as an emotional support.

And with depression I believe it's not the best way to show our masculinity, and may be the point you said on your reply.

I was spinning the plates before this LTR and I was feeling really good... now I need to put things in order again.

Thanks a lot man!
 

LARaiders85

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A woman's perspective on dating life is as following - date a guy, find out what he's all about, at the same time date other dudes, just so that there are more options for her. A guy's perspective on dating is the following - find one girl, pick her on her looks and availability, buy into her game, and develop a false believe that this woman's is one and only. If you ask me, women have much healthier outlook on dating.
Correct. However, the unhealthy part is carrying that dating mentality into the LTR, which is what they often do while simultaneously trying to get you over-invested relative to their investment.

The beauty of a truly classy woman is she will never attempt to have you overinvested...why would she want a clingy guy following her around anyway? Hard to believe but it happens.
 

Marcel Corradi

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Correct. However, the unhealthy part is carrying that dating mentality into the LTR, which is what they often do while simultaneously trying to get you over-invested relative to their investment.

The beauty of a truly classy woman is she will never attempt to have you overinvested...why would she want a clingy guy following her around anyway? Hard to believe but it happens.
So basically all those kind of things they say about personal values and feelings are all bull****?

I observe that I became beta when I'm feeling guilt with something in my life, then I go to the mentality that: I should not be dating a lot of girls, cause its dangerous and a LTR is much more fullfilling than that.

But when I start to get better, it loses the meaning. I saw so many things in life that surprised me a lot (married women wanting to have sex, girls on LTR... and all those ones seems to be a "correctly" woman). I also see women that seem to be loyal to a relationship, but I can prove that cause I'll never know for sure if she hide something or not.

Knowing all that, logically, it's better not commit to a LTR... but then it comes those questions like have a partner, and all the thing society stuck in our head.
 

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backseatjuan

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So basically all those kind of things they say about personal values and feelings are all bull****?
What exactly, because it depends. The thing that you been taught from birth that women are not promiscous and men are - is bullsht. Men on average and by far date and fck a lot less women in their lifetimes than your average woman. That's reality.

I observe that I became beta when I'm feeling guilt with something in my life, then I go to the mentality that: I should not be dating a lot of girls, cause its dangerous and a LTR is much more fullfilling than that.
You're falling back to your original beta self, it's normal, and it just means there is more work to be done.

Knowing all that, logically, it's better not commit to a LTR... but then it comes those questions like have a partner, and all the thing society stuck in our head.
It's hard to picture your soul. I picture mine as a room, and the floor is my soul, it had wounds and those long have healed, and the ulsars from wounds have long disappeared, then metal net was layed ontop of it and filled with concrete. I'm unable to get emotional over a woman, period. It is nature, and that warm and fuzzy feeling simply gets replaces with cold and calculated 'what is so fcking special about her'. The answer is always 'nothing in particular'. Which is the way it should be, when you get that she got you, and when she got you she don't want you. You want those btches to be emotional over you, not the other way around.

As far as LTR. I totally can see myself in an LTR with a hot woman, HB8+, why not. Until that time, I am in search of my soul mate and loving every bit of the journey.
 

Marcel Corradi

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What exactly, because it depends. The thing that you been taught from birth that women are not promiscous and men are - is bullsht. Men on average and by far date and fck a lot less women in their lifetimes than your average woman. That's reality.
Basically that. And also those "things" that successfull people say, that if you have a good partner by your side it will make your life better. I know it's stupid, but sometimes I start questioning if that is really true. Cause those guys are really rich and why they keep teaching that to people (it's a game or they are really being honest?)

You're falling back to your original beta self, it's normal, and it just means there is more work to be done.
That's true, everytime I start a LTR it's because im feeling guilt about some **** that happened (and I'm starting to understand that **** will always happen, it only depends how we deal with that and get over it).

It's hard to picture your soul. I picture mine as a room, and the floor is my soul, it had wounds and those long have healed, and the ulsars from wounds have long disappeared, then metal net was layed ontop of it and filled with concrete. I'm unable to get emotional over a woman, period. It is nature, and that warm and fuzzy feeling simply gets replaces with cold and calculated 'what is so fcking special about her'. The answer is always 'nothing in particular'. Which is the way it should be, when you get that she got you, and when she got you she don't want you. You want those btches to be emotional over you, not the other way around.
Thats really interesting! I think I'm slowly becoming just like that... I lost some emotional stuffs with life experiences. Nowadays I'm not so romantic I was before, like doing romantic stuffs to please woman (only in a few moments I do that). And as I stop doing that, women start to be much more interested and attracted to me. All against what those "successful" (Napoleon hill, Tony Robbins and some other influences) people say to us.

As far as LTR. I totally can see myself in an LTR with a hot woman, HB8+, why not. Until that time, I am in search of my soul mate and loving every bit of the journey.
Other interesting fact I can observe on instagram was when I started a project there, with less than 1k followers women almost didn't talk to me or even show interest. Now that I'm getting more influence and I'm with 12,8k (that's also not a huge amount), they started texting me there even knowing Im dating. It's ****in funny. Like: let me get that guy cause he has power.

And the how much I observe the world, people and their behaviors I'm losing that illusion that were taught to us. In fact that it's a game, and if you don't play it right you're ****ed up.

Thanks for your feedback!
 
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