I think I hate guys

[splinterkb]

You might have a point somewhere, but you lose any credibility you have because of the cursing, because of the typical over-analyzing that goes on on this message board in particular, and because of the "That's AFC" kind of talk that ruins SoSuave.

You're only 21 man. You probably have a perception of what a bar is like right now, but in four years that will change completely. Believe me. The typical "bar setting" outside of a big city is usually greasy old guys drooling over the handful of girls who are in their early- to mid-20s. It just gets old.

Unfortunately, you will understand where I am coming from some day.

Theres points everywhere.. they may be kind of insulting but your story pretty much is exactly what not to do.. I didn't over analyze anything. I pointed out the obvious that I guess you can't see.

I usually hate using the lingo on this board, but you defined EXACTLY what an AFC is. You were such a frustrated chump, that at the end of the night you felt the need to come home and write about how you hate males. It made me want to come over to where you live and slap some sense into you.

The whole story you were critisizing what the old men were doing.. but maybe you should have taken notes because they ended up with a table full of young females and you sat and moaped. Its gonna stay like that too because you did nothing to change the situation.. you just gave up.

Unfortunately, you will understand where I am coming from some day. -- Actually, I hope I dont understand where you're coming from, because that would mean I'm taking steps backwards. I honestly think you have some serious work to do on your "game"... because it seems like its getting you nowhere.

What over-analyzing are you talking about exactly?

 

[Interceptor]

Mike, that's good to hear.
I will try to motivate you even more.......

.......one of the absolute HUGEST sexual turn ons for a woman is knowing that the man in her presence has rock solid confidence, self assuredness, has TREMENDOUS Emotional Strength and Resources, and is in CONTROL of his EMOTIONS.

Rock steady.

Rock Solid.


That is you, Mike.

Always.

Maintain your Composure and your MORALE, Mike!!!!

Maintain it.

It takes discipline.

But it is true.

Women lose their control when theyre in the presence of a rock solid man.

When women say they eant 'confidence' that is what theyre talking about.

Rock solid Confidence, Self ASSUREDNESS and Emotional Strength.

Men who DO NOT get 'flustered' AT ALL ARE the Men THEY CHOOSE.
Those are the men whom they feel are strong and masculine.

It makes sense..
If a man can control his emotions, then he has the discipline to control himself.
And if he feels hes not at the mercy of his environment, women tend to figure that he may be capable of creating his environment.



Control your emotions and you "control" your environment (you can't CONTROL the environment like the weather, but you can control how it AFFECTS you and your Perception and ATTITUDE about it...) , by creating it....

 

[MikeYikes122]

I usually hate using the lingo on this board, but you defined EXACTLY what an AFC is.

And you are exactly what is wrong with SoSuave.

 

[splinterkb]

And you are exactly what is wrong with SoSuave.

Whats that? Telling you to grow a pair and quit b*tching and whining? I understand if you're offended by my comments, but I was offended as a male listening to your story. It was quite sad.

 

[MikeYikes122]

Mike, that's good to hear.
I will try to motivate you even more.......

.......one of the absolute HUGEST sexual turn ons for a woman is knowing that the man in her presence has rock solid confidence, self assuredness, has TREMENDOUS Emotional Strength and Resources, and is in CONTROL of his EMOTIONS.

Rock steady.

Rock Solid.


That is you, Mike.

Always.

Maintain your Composure and your MORALE, Mike!!!!

Maintain it.

It takes discipline.

But it is true.

Women lose their control when theyre in the presence of a rock solid man.

When women say they eant 'confidence' that is what theyre talking about.

Rock solid Confidence, Self ASSUREDNESS and Emotional Strength.

Men who DO NOT get 'flustered' AT ALL ARE the Men THEY CHOOSE.
Those are the men whom they feel are strong and masculine.

It makes sense..
If a man can control his emotions, then he has the discipline to control himself.
And if he feels hes not at the mercy of his environment, women tend to figure that he may be capable of creating his environment.



Control your emotions and you "control" your environment (you can't CONTROL the environment like the weather, but you can control how it AFFECTS you and your Perception and ATTITUDE about it...) , by creating it....

I'm pretty confident and self-assured, but it's the controlling my emotions thing that I need to work on. I can control myself in certain environments. I don't cry or get upset easily or anything like that. I just have no patience at all and I get frustrated very easily.

 

[splinterkb]

deleted

 

[MikeYikes122]

I would also add that your second mistake was making a half-drunk rant on this website

That might be the best point that anyone has made so far.

 

[Quiksilver]

It's a pretty common situation in bars dude, it's just something you'll have to learn to deal with, because its not going to change.

The only problem I saw in how you treated the situation was that you were not acting like a DJ. Lets hope your ego doesn't get involved here, so just hear me out.

Next time you find yourself in that situation, pull up a chair and make friends with the guys as well. You treated them like enemies almost... If they're so far below you in all ways, then go up and act friendly and joke around with them. Disarm them, poke fun at them subtly, poke fun at the girls with them.

Get the guys on your side and come in under the radar.

I see the situation you described all the time, I work at a bar so its almost a nightly event. Most guys do exactly what you do; they avoid the confrontation. Here I'm just speculating: They avoid the confrontation because they are SCARED of confrontation. It's more trouble than it's worth and they go in search of something else to do. The way to play that hand is to not even see it as confrontation. Open the set(guys and girls both) as everybody's friend.

I love making friends with the guys in sets, because a) you've just made some acquaintances b) you've just raised your social status c) you've just c0ckblocked AND disarmed the c0ckblock in one motion.


Just get everybody on your side, and they'll be helping you without even knowing it.

 

[Technical1]

That might be the best point that anyone has made so far.

Actually in making this rant you show a weakness in your game, which gives you pointers on how you can improve. Maybe some people want to flame you for it. You apparently cannot open mixed sets in a bar even if you have several huge advantages (working with the girls, competition is fat old men). You will rarely be put in situations where the field is so titled in your favor. I mean, you would have SAVED these girls, we're all in agreement there, right? You could have stepped into the hero role with a single approach.

Your excuses aren't really convincing. I sense the weakness of the game through the post, sorry. I'm also bad at doing anything with mixed sets in the night scene, and I'm determined to improve it. Dont accept the excuses man. And who cares if people make fun of you on SoSuave? How gay is it to get down on people in an internet forum? These kids paint themselves black with their cooler than thou dribble.

 

[Technical1]

Damn, Quicksilver's advice is awesome. Got to keep that in mind.

 

[nando]

gonna read this later

 

[splinterkb]

gonna read this later

Thank you for this piece of wisdom. It is truly inspiring.

 

[splinterkb]

Just get everybody on your side, and they'll be helping you without even knowing it.

Like buying the ladies drinks so you don't have to for example.

 

[HalfAddict]

but I'm frustrated to the point that I need to..

Dude.

Seriously.

If some greaseball is sitting at a table and you let him ... have his chance.
Then you're ****ing yourself.

We're you Intimidated by them?

What stopped you and how can you fix that?

What would you do differently given that situation again?

The answers are all here. Just read them, then make them your own.

 

[Effington]

You should realize when you post a question [or in your case, a rant] the train of thought on this board is to figure out where you went wrong, and a lot of people here don't know how to do that without coming off as offensive. Some of them may actually be trying to be helpful, but they don't come off that way most of the time.

As far as I know you've been lurking around this board for a little, so you should be able to guess what type of responses you'll get, because almost everything here is a recycled question, whether they use different words or not.

 

[Yookiwooki]

Just think of it like this -- If those guys have absolutley no chance with the girls, then wouldnt you be saving them time and money by just going for it? -- wouldnt you be doing them a favor?

 

[Ratisson]

Ok.. theres some serious things wrong with this story.

First off, you're that mad about some guys buying drinks for your female coworkers that you've never even talked to.. only stared at?

Second, I would say that they have more game than you because they had the balls to approach a table of women.. and stayed there the whole time. If you had as much game as you say you do, you wouldn't let douchebags like that get in your way.

Third, it doesn't really sound like they ruined your chance because you didn't even try to go talk to them.. you just saw the guys and got all mad and ended up listening to them all night instead of enjoying yourself which is kind of sad. Who cares if you go over and interrupt them? If they were talking about useless akward sh*t, then you wouldn't be interupting much. You would look like a hero for saving them from some greasy old men.. which is better rapport than any small talk you could of had. It would show that you have enough confidence to still go over and talk to them even though theres men at their table, and you would probably come off as an alpha if you just waltz over there and don't give a f*ck if you're rude and take over the conversation. If a noisy bar full of people drinking isn't a good scenario to interrupt (especially with some dirt balls talking about sex positions).. what exactly is then?

Finally.. you say you didn't want to belittle some AFC's infront of the girls, but all in all you ended up the average frustrated chump who came home all pissed off that some guys had some balls to go talk to some women out of their league.. and managed to stay at their table the whole night.

My advice..

Grow a pair, and if you wan't something.. go get it. End of story.
(Sorry if you are offended, but your story goes against pretty much everything on this site.)

I second this.

If you had the game to pick them up then you would have. Your just posting this because you're frustrated you didn't approach. As far as i'm concerned, these guys had more game because they were actually talking to these girls.

And why didn't you just go and hustle some other hot girls in the bar.

 

[Create Reality]

the best time to barge in on that clusterfvck would be after the first round of drinks. that way the girls already got some booze in them and you take the "first choice" approach mixed with some humor to lighten the mood.

 

[Poonani Maker]

It's a pretty common situation in bars dude, it's just something you'll have to learn to deal with, because its not going to change.

The only problem I saw in how you treated the situation was that you were not acting like a DJ. Lets hope your ego doesn't get involved here, so just hear me out.

Next time you find yourself in that situation, pull up a chair and make friends with the guys as well. You treated them like enemies almost... If they're so far below you in all ways, then go up and act friendly and joke around with them. Disarm them, poke fun at them subtly, poke fun at the girls with them.

Get the guys on your side and come in under the radar.

I see the situation you described all the time, I work at a bar so its almost a nightly event. Most guys do exactly what you do; they avoid the confrontation. Here I'm just speculating: They avoid the confrontation because they are SCARED of confrontation. It's more trouble than it's worth and they go in search of something else to do. The way to play that hand is to not even see it as confrontation. Open the set(guys and girls both) as everybody's friend.

I love making friends with the guys in sets, because a) you've just made some acquaintances b) you've just raised your social status c) you've just c0ckblocked AND disarmed the c0ckblock in one motion.


Just get everybody on your side, and they'll be helping you without even knowing it.

That's good advice from a 19 year old. My only question is, how long will you stay there in the set 1 vs. 3 vs. 3? MOST guys will treat YOU as the enemy and as weak because you are alone. If you leave, you look weak just as they guessed. If you stay, you'd better come up with enough material or convo-speak to make yourself welcome as long as you can OR you can just listen after introducing yourself and only speak when questioned or speak later in the night (but by then the girls will think you're weak for not speaking all night). This is the hard part: Speaking while judgmentalism is flying through the air at it's peak - the point where the opposite sexes are avant garding one another sniffing each other out to see suitable mateness for the night fling or future compatibility.

I don't blame you for not approaching after they moved in. MOST guys here would not do it either. I'm not sure if I would even do it. If I'm on business, I can approach ANYONE - CEOs, presidents, you name it. But if I'm just in leisure mode, then the faint thought in their minds that I'm just venturing over to talk to them for ONE reason - to get into their panties eventually (i.e. They are the prize frame), hinders me from making that first move. MOST women at a bar or club setting approach me because of my good looks or I'll just casually slip in beside them with humor to the ladies while ordering a drink for myself. Then the convo will go on or it will stall. The AFC (insecure) laddies usually think that they don't have a chance with me and wonder why there isn't a woman on my arm.

The HOT laddies will check me out, but if they get an inkling that I'm alone, they turn off of me. I'm there for the music and drinks and to socialize mostly. Que sera sera, whatever will be will be. If they want me to go home with them and have me fvck them because they're horny, it's their call and they lead the way, use me as their boy toy. I'm just floating. Use me, babe.

 

[Luveno]

If this girl is flashing you eyes as often as you say she is, all you had to do was go up to her and say:

"Hi...you work at _________, don't you? I thought I recognized you. I'm Mike, and you are...?"

BAM! Done! Convo started. Integrate yourself in with the rest of the guys and her crew there. Take the lead in the convo, and adapt to the direction it moves in.

And if these guys were as greasy as you say they were, then you would have no problem getting her attention!

I would put money on the fact that if you were to charm these women, the other guys would eventually leave because you would be hurting their pride.

Of course, does part of your apprehension for approaching these girls stem from the fact that these bozos were buying them drinks all night? You thought that if you were to remove the drink provider guys from the equation you may cause resentment and anger in the rest of the group, or the mother hen, and destroy your chances overall?

You should've gone for it instead of moping around.