I still don't understand relationship

[RangerMIke]

"Half" is an understatement.

I'd say 80% of them are not happy.

But still they're glued to each other, and pretend they are being happy. Why? Because they are on auto-pilot, like you said, because they're simply too coward to even admit that they are not as happy as they think they are. And they are cowards because even the slightest idea of being alone scares them sh!tless. That's why.

My completely unscientific opinion... %50 are straight up unhappy, 30% are 'content', 20% are happy. Only 1/5 of all marriages at the end of 10 years are happy. Of all the married couples I know, the only ones that are genuinely happy are ones where the women either doesn't work but is involved with kids or some organization that she cares about, or she has some low paying job that is more like a hobby... and the husband makes a really good living.

The 'content' ones are just basically roommates, with occasional sex... basically friends with benefits who happen to live together. However, they have common interests and enjoy each other's company.

I like your comment "pretending to be happy", that is so true. You would never know from their social media accounts that they are as miserable as they are... it's the damned thing. It's perfectly normal for new couples to be all over each other professing their joy over the internet. But I can almost guarantee that if you have a couple still doing this sh1t after 2 years or later... something is going sideways.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

If a compatible female did cross your path, you're probably in a better position than you realize......

You have to remember that a relationship will take on its own dynamic. But where does that dynamic come from?

Let's look at the unhealthy one:

The codependent relationship with two codependents: This couple will look very very united and very close together. Very loving. Unfortunately it's not love that is brewing underneath the surface. It's a toxic, unholy thirsty need that's flowing like a dirty, sewage filled river, bubbling, waiting to smash the unsuspecting dam clean off its hinges. the glue that holds this couple together is a dependence of the other, unfortunately the other is also an emotional child. Two emotional children sucking the life slowly out of each other. When the dam bursts, it will not be pretty. Suicides happen here, overdoses, domestic abuse, drunken car crashes, prison, divorce, self harm. When the dust is cleared and the codependent is alone (the history of codependence is one will always flee if they are not killed or incarcerated) the pain will be unbearable. My "soul mate" has gone. Devastation. The codependent who survives will probably go back online to look for the next victim..em I mean host....em I mean partner. That's it. ALL MEN WHO USE ONLINE DATING APPLICATIONS HAVE CODEPENDENT AND ABANDONMENT ISSUES TO SOME DEGREE.



No. Tinder is literately ‘Tits on tap’. The quickest and easiest way to meet girls. Particularly for a guy working 60+ hours a week. More couples meet online now than any other single way. I met some great ladies from Tinder. I’m sure I have some psych disorders. But not codependent/abandonment.