ok... my girl n i have been together for only 4 months.. but i really really care about her... and she cares about me.. but ok the thing is. like this past month we kinda ran out of things to talk about.. like i KNOW it's bound to happen. but iunno.. she keeps thinking about our first 3 months and missin those times.but i talked to her about it and she sed that the happiness i give her now is better.. but its just different. cuz i guess b4 it was puppy love.. now we are more comfortable with each other.. i really really care about this girl and i KNOW she does too... but lately it just feels like we're kinda of drifting. any idea how to get tha old spark back??... OH BTW i recently got in a car accident.. so as of now i dont have a car... ANOTHER THING IS I WANNA TRUST HER.. BUT I HAVE A HARD TIME BECAUSE OF PAST RELATIONSHIP...
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I Seriously Need Some Help Please!!
- Thread starter dlin87
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
#1 This is a new relationship, she is a new girl. Don't drag your past relationship issues into this, as it will destroy the relationship. Make her earn her trust, but don't project your last relationship on this one
#2 As for not knowing what to talk about, that happens. The honeymoon is over, now it is time to get to living. This is were the ones who are ment to be together and the ones who had a quick fling get seperated. LTR's are all not kissing and hugging, they are work and comprimise. If it was meant to be, you guys will grow closer, if it wasn't you will drift apart. That is the nature of things, and it is a good thing no matter what way it turns out
If you guys stay, good for you, if you drift, be happy you had the good time you did, and figure out what about you and here didn't mesh and look for that in the next relationship. It will be a learning experience
Let this stuff happen natural, and don't force it. You will be much happier in the end
#2 As for not knowing what to talk about, that happens. The honeymoon is over, now it is time to get to living. This is were the ones who are ment to be together and the ones who had a quick fling get seperated. LTR's are all not kissing and hugging, they are work and comprimise. If it was meant to be, you guys will grow closer, if it wasn't you will drift apart. That is the nature of things, and it is a good thing no matter what way it turns out
If you guys stay, good for you, if you drift, be happy you had the good time you did, and figure out what about you and here didn't mesh and look for that in the next relationship. It will be a learning experience
Let this stuff happen natural, and don't force it. You will be much happier in the end
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
thanks a lot guys!! i really appreciate the help!. ONE LAST QUESTION THOUGH.. you guys sed dont call her as much. but i never do.. she always calls me... and i dunno how to hang up with her.. because she doesnt wanna hang up.. even if we're not talkin she wants to just stay on the phone!!... and i really do enjoy talkin to her....
My best advice to you is this:
If you are looking for an LTR (which seems to be the case) just be yourself, be natural. If she likes you for you (without the false DJ act) then you will be happy with her, and you won't have to keep questioning what can I do to keep her (just like you are doing now) belive me, it will become a life long struggle.
If you are not looking for a LTR, just follow the guidelines outlined around this forum, they will hold her attention for a little while, but once she realizes that this isn't the real you, or you realize the whole relationship was based on false pretenses (she likes a "fabricated you") it will fall apart
If you are looking for an LTR (which seems to be the case) just be yourself, be natural. If she likes you for you (without the false DJ act) then you will be happy with her, and you won't have to keep questioning what can I do to keep her (just like you are doing now) belive me, it will become a life long struggle.
If you are not looking for a LTR, just follow the guidelines outlined around this forum, they will hold her attention for a little while, but once she realizes that this isn't the real you, or you realize the whole relationship was based on false pretenses (she likes a "fabricated you") it will fall apart
That's a good sign! Well best thing is to say before hand that you are going to be busy for the day or next couple of days (and really be busy, don't bs), tell her that she can call but you can't talk for too long.
Go hang out with your friends, hang with the fam if your cool with them.
Go hang out with your friends, hang with the fam if your cool with them.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.