I sealed the deal with a girl whom I blew it with in the past (Success Story)

[HectorFromTB]

Hi DJs. I'm Hector and I'm 27. I've been a longtime lurker on these forums. I found this forum in 2015 when (this particular woman) blew me off. I used this forum as a tool to sharpen my skills, as well as scouring the Internet and finding other great advice on acting like a REAL MAN and eliminating beta behavior/needy tendencies. I was able to see all my mistakes and see where I went wrong-- not only with this particular woman, but plenty of other women in the past. It has been working out pretty well for me. I've been on plenty of dates since 2015 and have actually been able to maintain high interest with several girls.

In 2015, I was clueless. I was casually seeing a girl. The first week or two of dating her, I was doing good because I wasn't attached (yet). As time went on and I began getting attached to this particular girl, I began acting beta and dopey. I had no idea. Despite making mistakes, she had high enough interest in me to continue seeing me. We developed a really good friendship with each other. However, when we would hang out, I never made a move to have sex with her-- even though she was showing me pretty glaring signs that she wanted me to make a move on her.

So as more time passed (several months in) I began acting MORE beta and dopey, and still never had sex with her. Eventually, she went ice cold. I chased and chased, but to no avail. One night when I texted her, she sent me this "Dear John" type of breakup text. Telling me that she just "didn't feel it" with me and that she's been seeing a few other guys and "just felt a stronger connection with them" and telling me how she "doesn't seeing happening" but tried to let me down easy by saying "it's nothing about you or anything you did." Blah blah blah. She tried to assure me that we were still "good friends." I was obviously really hurt by this. I immediately stopped contacting her.

This is when I came across this forum, as well as other great sources on the internet. I began becoming much more of an alpha male when it came to dating.

About three weeks ago, which was close to 2 years since she blew me off, she texted me out of the blue. We've have no contact over these past 2 years. She has used social media to send me cordial yearly greetings, but that was it. I never said anything to her. When she texted me, I set up a date with her. I went over to her house that night and knew exactly what to do. After about a half an hour of talking, I banged her. We've been having sex ever since. We see each other a few times a week now, and we have sex everytime. It's amazing and I never knew if I'd get this chance again.

My questions is: Why did this happen? Why did she come back? I know that she was in a couple different relationships over these last 2 years, and was probably hooking up with guys in-between those relationships. And I also know that she's always had her fair share of orbiters.
She was a fun and edgy girl, but had some traumatic experiences in her life. I guess nothing is off the table with these chicks? (She's a barrel of monkeys.) Or is this more common than I'm aware of? What's the reason?

 

[teebear]

My guess is that she had a setback and was feeling lonely. She turned to you for comfort and the rest is history.

You still get credit for not making a mess of it the second time, but beware oneitis. Remember that it's just your turn and all that...

 

[btownbuck2012]

She was a fun and edgy girl, but had some traumatic experiences in her life.

And there it is.

Continue to bang her but DO NOT get attached. Your life depends on it.

@teebear is spot on with his analysis of the situation.

 

[marmel75]

And there it is.

Continue to bang her but DO NOT get attached. Your life depends on it.

@teebear is spot on with his analysis of the situation.

Yeah, women are crazy...full marks for taking advantage of the opportunity presented. Just don't expect anything long term and make sure you have more options...this chick could bounce at any time again and if you don't have options it could cause the same type of needy behaviour again

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Great come back! Keep hitting it and let her invest in you. Give her some good memories too.

 

[sazc]

women like to have orbiters (we refer to them as friends) she kept you in her orbit. I am not saying you were an orbiter to her, just that she convinced herself you were by reaching out to you every now and then. So, to her, you were never really gone. It was natural to her to text you to gauge your interest - in her mind you two were casually acquainted.

In fact, the entire time she was reaching out to you, you could have probably done the same thing.

 

[soulforge]

good job mate, make sure you don't get all needy and dopey on this chick again..

Also be aware, that this chick may DROP you again at anytime.. you are more than likely NOT her number one guy or choice..

She probably reached out to you, when she hit rock bottom or had no other options available..

Once a woman dumps you, the chances of her dumping you again are pretty damn high..

let her earn your time and affection. Make her work for it.. don't always be available to her..

and keep other options open.. your taking a chance here!

 

[HectorFromTB]

And there it is.

Continue to bang her but DO NOT get attached. Your life depends on it.

@teebear is spot on with his analysis of the situation.

Are you implying that the reason she came back is because she's edgy and has had some traumatic experiences? Or is that the reason I shouldn't get attached? Or both?

 

[HectorFromTB]

women like to have orbiters (we refer to them as friends) she kept you in her orbit. I am not saying you were an orbiter to her, just that she convinced herself you were by reaching out to you every now and then. So, to her, you were never really gone. It was natural to her to text you to gauge your interest - in her mind you two were casually acquainted.

In fact, the entire time she was reaching out to you, you could have probably done the same thing.

Thanks Sazc for the insight. That's funny because whenever she would give me these yearly greetings (be it Happy Birthday or whatever), I kinda felt like that was her way of keeping me on the hook.

I never reached out to her because I knew I made huge mistakes, and it was just out of pride. I knew that if we were to ever rekindle, it would have to be her iniating.

So you say I had the green light to talk to her when she would send me cordial greetings? Regardless, I'm happy with the outcome. I finally got to make love to this girl. And am doing it pretty consistently now. Not even focusing on a relationship. Just hanging out, having fun, and hooking up (as Corey Wayne says.) I think that's always the best approach a male could take in romantic relationships.

 

[Von]

Thanks Sazc for the insight. That's funny because whenever she would give me these yearly greetings (be it Happy Birthday or whatever), I kinda felt like that was her way of keeping me on the hook.

I never reached out to her because I knew I made huge mistakes, and it was just out of pride. I knew that if we were to ever rekindle, it would have to be her iniating.

So you say I had the green light to talk to her when she would send me cordial greetings? Regardless, I'm happy with the outcome. I finally got to make love to this girl. And am doing it pretty consistently now. Not even focusing on a relationship. Just hanging out, having fun, and hooking up (as Corey Wayne says.) I think that's always the best approach a male could take in romantic relationships.

Don't go in a LTR because you hooking up with her
Go in a LTR because she has values and things that stimulate you other than Hooking up

Your last sentence is calling oneitis

You likely the rebound guy, enjoy hooking up but beware the exclusivity

 

[beforeimgone]

Great come back! Keep hitting it and let her invest in you. Give her some good memories too.

Also actively get her to invest in you for added effect