"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

I neeed helpp

zidane

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 10, 2005
Messages
23
Reaction score
0
I need some help.
I am a newbie to this site and this site is the gold.
There is this girl i went on a date with(Coffee) in my college and to some extend we did not connect well.I liked Hip hop and she was a rock and roll b1tch.I liked blue while she liked green.We were both science majors.
On the date i tried to touch her hands when we were walking towards the dorms but she declined and did not ask her why,because when we were having coffee she was holding coffee with both hands.
She told me she did not have a boyfriend but was seeing somebody. She told me she wanted to be friends.
We are in the same class together so i wanted to avoid theLJBF zone.(We see each other every other day but we dont talk).We dont even EC because all the time in class she is looking somewhere else.
So after three days, i wanted to ask her on a date( Teach her some african dance) and she did not pick up and her phone is those ones that u cannot leave a message.
What should i do?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

DinoCassanova

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2005
Messages
220
Reaction score
0
Age
51
Location
Chicagoland area
Zidane, no offense but I would forget this one. Sounds like she's just not that into you for whatever reasons. It's nothing personal; how could it be she doesn't even really know you. A good thing I've used to help remember not to take these kinds of things personally is to remember what I call the video game theory. Remember when we were younger and played all those Nintendo games and stuff? You know how many times we had to "die" , many times getting much further than others, before we'd mastered a "level" ? This DJ thing seems to be kind of like that. There will be a LOT of "Game Overs" . You just re-start and give it another shot. With that situation you described however it sounds like there is not much interest there. I'm not trying to be a d*ck , I"m just trying to tell you what feeling I get from reading what you wrote about that situation. ~Dino
 

Legend

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 23, 2003
Messages
874
Reaction score
2
Age
43
Location
NY/CT
i would save yourself the trouble. No sense in trying to win a girl over that already has feelings for someone else. Im in that situation right now and let me tell you that it sucks. Stop now while you are not attached to her. Avoid her completely. I wish i did this the minute i saw a red flag with the girl i "loved".
 

zidane

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 10, 2005
Messages
23
Reaction score
0
reply

I was thinking that i should give her another chance by teaching her the african dance and that will be good because we are gonna touch.This will be the last one though.If she declines then ............NEXT
I was also thinking of telling her my opinion that seeing a guy is not a good that seeing a guy is not a good idea because they guy is probably looking for some other girl then dump u.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

syncmaster

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 4, 2001
Messages
2,160
Reaction score
7
Age
40
Location
Ottawa,Ontario, Canada
Re: reply

Originally posted by zidane
I was thinking that i should give her another chance by teaching her the african dance and that will be good because we are gonna touch.This will be the last one though.If she declines then ............NEXT
I was also thinking of telling her my opinion that seeing a guy is not a good that seeing a guy is not a good idea because they guy is probably looking for some other girl then dump u.
oh so much to learn... :p
 

zidane

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 10, 2005
Messages
23
Reaction score
0
hey

reply
Thanks guys for the replies and for
Syncmaster-i am new on this site so why do u say so much to learn instead of saying something silver.
 

DonJuanMonk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 20, 2005
Messages
826
Reaction score
0
Location
CA
Maybe she don't like dating dark people. But you want some lighter meat, gotta go for light girls that appear more ghetto ish, like Detroit, Chicago, or Philadelphia. The non coastal cities.
 

zidane

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 10, 2005
Messages
23
Reaction score
0
thanks

Hey.WTF, what do u mean by that she does not like dark people.Do u mean that she does not like dating colored people.On the date she told me that she had dated a black man, so that was not a big issue.
Another question is that if u have been on a date with a girl then u call her after three days and she does not pick up and u dont leave a message, how long should u wait?
 

DinoCassanova

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2005
Messages
220
Reaction score
0
Age
51
Location
Chicagoland area
if u have been on a date with a girl then u call her after three days and she does not pick up and u dont leave a message, how long should u wait?

>>> I would, if it were me at least, hold off on mentioning anything about African dancing to her just yet. I'm not trying to be a d*ck here, but you don't want to end up getting laughed at behind your back by this chick either. Just play it cool. Try calling her, say, tonight. If she doesn't answer, then try calling her back ONCE more, say, Thursday. If she still doesn't answer, or she answers but gives you BS vibes about going out again , tell her something like, "Ok, well listen I hate to cut this short but I've got ......... (x)......... to do tonight, so anyway , see you in class. Take it easy." And then after you say that to her, you know what you do? You hang up , and you erase her # from your phone and do not make contact with her in any way again. There are far too many other ones out there who might be interested in going out w/you for a cup of coffee, or learning about African dance, to trouble w/one who's not truly interested. This way, you've given her exactly 3 tries. Just like in baseball. If she strikes out, she's gone. Be firm about that. And don't go out of your way to say anything to her in class if / when that happens either. Just ignore her pretty much, or only say hi if she initiates. That's my best advice at least. ~Dino
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Top