"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I need to up my texting game
- Thread starter JPlaya
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
OC Speedball
Don Juan
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And then I try calling her again and she texts me, "Why did you call me?" I said, "Because I need to ask you a question." So I just ended up asking her to hang out through text. My friend advised me to do this because he said some women are just SO used to texting that they completely lack phone conversation skills... they're afraid of it. But this girl and I would flirt for hours in person, it's weird.
So I ended up just asking her out through text. Nothing fancy, just basically a hangout date.
What would you advise me to do in another situation like this? And did I do the right thing? I've had this happen with two other girls in the past as well.
OC Speedball said:
I can imagine this happens occasionally. Some girls (quite a lot actually) have an extreme anxiety issue when it comes to actually talking on the phone. I know this because, my friends girlfriend (who is smoking hot) added me on facebook the morning after he was arrested JUST TO ASK ME if i could ring police custody to find out if he was still there.
So a girl texts a lot? Thats fine. As long as you don't text her to the point that it bores her enough to lose interest in you, your doing your job correctly. I really wouldn't think too much of it, but as long as you are constantly keeping things new and interesting it will not harm your game.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=59150&highlight=fifteen+lessons
And stick at it lad. Its not rocket science, honestly.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Improve. Improvise. Overcome.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
RSanders219
Don Juan
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ELMER_GANTRY
Don Juan
Wrong. I disagree with you on this. Texting does build attraction when it is done right, and it gets the chick thinking about you, which is exactly what you want to do. When you leave a great text, the girl will be thinking about you and your text. You don't have to have text convos to make it work. You need to be able to talk, but if you don't use texting to your advantage, you are limiting yourself.Iceberg said:
You should all read the thread in the MM forum about "texting and messages" and the replies that I left. Texting DOES work so use it.
OC Speedball
Don Juan
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I didn't know there were Mystery Method forums. Can you send me the link? I googled it and couldn't find it.ELMER_GANTRY said:
ELMER_GANTRY
Don Juan
It is the Mature Man forum on hereOC Speedball said:
Here is the link
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=184373
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Not sure if you're talking to me of not, just just in case:JPlaya said:
in my 4th text I wrote "I'm going to the beach today - will I see you there?"
Her reply: "Sorry, not today - have to work".
I didn't reply until she then asked me out tonight.
the danger here is that you keep basically asking the same question - and the likelyhood is that you probably keep basically sending the same text. texts should be to set stuff up in person, otherwise you end up having a text-relationship. you must learn to not require constant text attention
if you must send texts, dont think in terms of quantity, think in terms of quality
before you send a text - look at it - why are you sending it - is it interesting? some of these texts, dudes are wondering why there is no response or late response, but there is nothing really to even respond to. a text just for the sake of it, why? dont send a text that is boring, or makes you look boring, why would you want to give that impression?
they only text first if you leave a gap for them to text in
in this particular case, this girl is not going to text first. this is because you text far too often, and worse, you text when you don't actually have anything to say - you text for the sake of it. you text because you can't cope with a period of time with no texting, you are looking for constant reassurance and validation. you need to only text when there is a reason to - or at the very least try and control yourself when you feel the need to send a text that is boring and has no point other than to try get a response
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.