I need some tips about moving on

[Miran]

So I am in nc for about 4 months, I am doing way better, I am hanging out with friends and studying, working out, reading, listening to music, I have set goals and I am working hard to achieve them, I stopped stalking her social media 3 months ago and went on 2 dates and they were ok but my ex is always in back of my mind, so my question is, do I need more time to move on, what other tips do you have?, is it because I was dumped so I am still salty, or just because I havent found someone else who I really want?..

 

[Trump]

Bro this girl wants absolutely nothing to do with you, your family, or anyone else related to you. She is having sex with a 6'2 basketball players and 6'1 hockey players since she told you to get lost. She doesn't care if you are DEAD or ALIVE. She told you to BURN IN HELL for all eternity.

And she is ALWAYS in the back of your mind?

Come on guys, when a girl tells you to get lost, you go sleep with all the other young good looking blond 27 year old girls dying to sleep with you. To be obsessed over one is a waste of time.

 

[RangerMIke]

My only advice to you is to stop thinking about her. Put a thick rubber band around your wrist and pop it whenever she enters your mind. Just stop thinking about her... If you find her wandering into your thoughts... force yourself to think about something else. Preferably other chicks. You need to go on more than a couple of dates in a 4 month period.... you should be out there collecting numbers and setting up dates -- You are not going to want to do this, but it is the only way to get over what you are going through now.

 

[AlphaNate]

@Trump calm the **** down.

OP, you're doing a lot of things right. Couple notes:

• You have Oneitis. Oneitis is paralysis. You HAVE to move on. And guess what, you can find someone better.
• If you don't find anyone, that's okay. It's when you accept that you don't need a woman to be happy that you start becoming happy with your women.
• You need to spin plates. Two dates in four months is not going to get you to an abundance mentality. Hit up as many women as possible - this will help with your Oneitis. Get numbers, go on dates, escalate. A lot.
• Block this girl from everything, including on social media.

 

[lizardking82]

I would suggest you stop telling to yourself "it's been 4 months already, why is she still there". She will be there for as long as she will be in your mind because it is related to different factors, childhood memories of yours, your emotional holes, possible abandonment fears, it's deep things. However you feel when you are alone or whatever feelings come up, don't judge them, don't try to supress them. Just go through with it. Your feelings are never wrong, you just label them as such.

 

[Infern0]

when it comes to moving on:

Self improvement, self improvement, self improvement

Become the guy who never would have gotten dumped by her, en route to becoming the guy who would have never stooped to date her in the first case.

 

[dude99]

So I am in nc for about 4 months, I am doing way better, I am hanging out with friends and studying, working out, reading, listening to music, I have set goals and I am working hard to achieve them, I stopped stalking her social media 3 months ago and went on 2 dates and they were ok but my ex is always in back of my mind, so my question is, do I need more time to move on, what other tips do you have?, is it because I was dumped so I am still salty, or just because I havent found someone else who I really want?..

Ask yourself this:

Are you on her mind? No.
Why should she be on yours?

Why let an ex take up valuable real estate in your mind when there are so many other positive things you can put your mind to.

Firstly date other women. Date, meet, spin, date. Meet new people. Meet new women.

And some other suggestions. Don't mope. Challenge yourself:


Working out.
Get in shape for a marathon.
Learn another language in your spare time
Learn a musical instrument
Learn to build a musical instrument
Take flying lessons
Write a book/story/short stories
Write music
Write poetry
Learn to play your favorite songs
Travel. See places you never seen.
Study other cultures.

Dude you are single. Just because she dumped doesn't mean to put your life on hold. You are single. The world is your oyster

 

[Tony197]

You're going to get a million different pieces of advice, and while all may be valuable, they may be irrelevant.

Ask yourself - What is it that I'm missing? What is it that still hurts?

Is it the sting of being dumped? Happens to everyone. Even Brad Pitt! Don't let your ego cloud your judgment. She liked you when she liked you. Now she doesn't.

Is it love for her? Doubt it.

Is it that she found someone else and you haven't? Big deal. It's sooooo easy for a woman to find a relationship if that's what she wants. But do you actually want to be in one? Or just want to replace her?

Is it that you haven't found someone yet? Be happy with yourself to the point where you don't need anyone. You may find someone better. You may not. But you'll be happy with yourself.

Is it that everybody is in a relationship and you're not? Newsflash - not everyone is. You're just hyper-sensitive to those that are. And guess what? Nobody posts the ****ty parts on FB or IG.

Long story short - get to the root cause of your upset and dig that **** out.

 

[Roober]

4 months and still feeling like crap? You need to work on yourself! Whatever you have done to make yourself better is not working. You need to find the root of the issue and be happy just to be you. Men that take longs periods of time to recover have something they need to fix in their own lives to be emotionally stable. Figure out what is holding on!

 

[Krueg]

Just keep doing what your doing by moving forward. I dont know if she tries to contact you or not but dont get sucked back in. Congrats of 4 months NC. Things will keep getting better and once you meet and start seeing someone else, you wont remember her as much. Onward and Upward!

 

[Dingo]

Bro this girl wants absolutely nothing to do with you, your family, or anyone else related to you. She is having sex with a 6'2 basketball players and 6'1 hockey players since she told you to get lost. She doesn't care if you are DEAD or ALIVE. She told you to BURN IN HELL for all eternity.

And she is ALWAYS in the back of your mind?

Come on guys, when a girl tells you to get lost, you go sleep with all the other young good looking blond 27 year old girls dying to sleep with you. To be obsessed over one is a waste of time.

Brutal but true...

Anytime you start getting those feelings imagine her having a great time sucking other guys off and taking it up the you know what...

Anger and hatred helps heal.... sometimes you just got to "go there" to move forward.

 

[Square Hammer]

My friend...I have been married 25 years...over 3 different women. Cheated on them all...yes I'm aweful. Let me tell you...there is no perfect women. Each is great, each is unique, and each is special. Enjoy them...then move on. Trust me my friend...each woman is spectacularly interesting.

 

[bigneil]

The worst oneitis I had was in 2011. It lasted from January 1 until December 7 or so. This was a girl who I only had sex with twice, and hadn't seen since April 15, so it took nearly 8 months after I last saw her and nearly a year to forget her. This was a girl who said "hurry up" as we had sex for the first time and it traumatized me. I was out of work and living in a Florida retirement community and she was flying down from Ohio. It was my least happy time.

One day (after moving to a new state, getting a new job and dating a new girl for 1.5 months - one who was 17 years younger than her, a 21 year versus 4 year age difference), I realized I was thinking about the new girl and not oneitis. I never looked back.

Then after 6 months with the new girl we had a sudden breakup and I got oneitis for her for about 6 months and got her back.

Both times I got oneitis I lost a ton of weight and got ripped.

Since then I've loved 5 girls but haven't had oneitis again. My current girl could probably cause it if she dumped me so I'm looking for a backup. A successful seducer always pursues more than one woman. In this case I've been going to the gym for over 4 out of the 7 months we dated as a preemptive measure.

 

[greatsnake]

1. Self-improvement, self improvement, self improvement
2. Set up multiple dates
3. Plate as many women
4. socialize