I need some serious conversationalist tips..

[Adakkon]

I just can't break out of my funk when it comes to holding conversations.

When I was younger I decided if I didn't have anything worthwhile to say I might as well not say anything at all, and it has kind of turned into an unconscious habit I can't get out of.

This isn't even a just with women thing. I don't have any nervousness or fear around them anymore and I can keep up the same level of discussion as I can with my friends, it's just that this isn't much at all.

I've tried looking for clues to keep the conversation going but I always miss them. I can think back now and see maybe 20 hints I could have used to keep things flowing throughout different conversations I've had today but when I was there they just flew over my head.

I'm working on making a move on a HB in a physics class of mine that is interested. (I think I caught her snapping glances at me a few times and we have had a bit of eye contact, she could just be wondering if I'm eyeing her or something but I prefer to think positive )

I've had kind of a group conversation with her involved and while it went okay I feel like I could do way better. I'm working up to trying to approach her 1 on 1 and make a move (First woman I'm going after since coming here, so I'm taking baby steps) but I'm worried the conversation will go something like:

Me: Hey, I see you are in a few of my classes.
Her: Yeah
Me: Thats nice.
Her:......
Me:...........
Her:.............
Me:...............
Her: *walks away*

 

[Alphathree]

You WILL screw this up, and I'm sorry if that hurts your inner game at the moment, but I think it'll help in the long run.

Knowing the above, you can be less attached to the OUTCOME, which is not going to be in your favor in THIS PARTICULAR instance.

Stop having 'conversations' with people and start communicating with them. Communication is done with words, voice tone, body language, etc.

See, if you try to create this facade of "I'm _TRYING_ to have a conversation with you", it's over.

Be HONEST. If there's a flower in her hair, ask her if she knows she's got a garden growing "up there" (point).

If she does something silly, _IN A PLAYFUL MANNER_, make fun of her.

DO NOT memorize what I'm writing here. Find an honest observation of your own.

I recommend Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton. It'll help you a lot with this.

Consider this: as you read what I'm writing right now, do you feel that I'm 'hiding' anything from you? Do you think I have some alternate purpose that I'm not talking about?

No. My thoughts are flowing directly without much regard for what you THINK of them, and I know you appreciate this, as does everyone.

How about now:

---
Hi. How are you? So, are you new to these boards? That's nice. Well it sounds like you're doing well so far.
---

That's vacuous ****. There's nothing there.

Learn to communicate. Stop having conversations. If you have only one thing to say, say that, and then leave. NEVER stick around. It's needy.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Talk about what you find funny. There is humor everywhere.

 

[diablo]

First you need to read the DJ Bible. In it you'll find answers to virtually all of the questions you could hope to ask. In fact, you'll find a whole section entitled "CONVERSATION". Thanks.

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb