I need some advice with a girl I like.

[DougC96]

Hi, new here to the form. Anyhow, I need some help with a girl I like at my college. She does the same major as I do (Anthropology) and as far as I can tell we are into similar things. She is seeming very friendly to me but does not go out of her way to initiate talk with me. Also, I have asked her out before and was rejected with a simple "No", but that was several months ago, and in hindsight the event I asked her to, a masquerade ball hosted by the humanities department, was probably going to suck anyways. I was still an AFC then. I have since fished for contact information from her such as her email, but I have not asked her for her phone number yet, as I have done so before, as a AFC, several months ago and didn't get it. However, she has deflected me from the email question, and I didn't get it directly from her, but I did find it on the webpage of an organization we are both part of which lists the emails and it almost felt like she was testing me. Also at no time have I heard her mention a boyfriend, even when I initially asked her out. I am getting mixed signals. Anyhow, I intend to see if I can get her number Monday (I think she will deflect again), and have asked her out by Friday. I am prepared to take a no again, as I have been spinning plates and have succeed shifting to a abundance mindset. After all, rejection is hardly the worst thing that can happen to a guy and I figure, ah, what the heck, ask her and see what happens. I am really fishing or a second opinion on her. What do you guys think I should do?

P.S. yes I know about oneitis

 

[ohrein]

No mixed signals there buddy, she is not interested. Also, never get a girls contact info from anyone but her. That is borderline stalking. And don't lie, you're not spinning plates and you have a massive case of oneitis. Read the bible and find other women.

 

[derby1]

OP an interested woman does not hide her interest, shes not interested, she doesnt want to hurt your feelings even if she says "MAYBE"

then revert back to my original words......an interested woman does not hide her interest, because women are jealous creatures if she liked ya shed have gone out with ya to test the waters

 

[DougC96]

First off, not a stalker. I was not even looking for the email address when I saw it. I was looking for the club president's email who I needed to email for official business (I am the Student Government Representative). Second, I am spinning plates, there are several girls, I can name 6 off the top off my head that I am attracted to, who I know from my clubs and classes. Third, no oneitis involved. I know very well there are other women around, and the thought of asking her only popped into my head a week ago. I have been carrying no torch for her for several months, I have other things I have need to focus on. Also, kind of hard to ignore her as she is in half my classes this semester and in half the clubs I regularly go to. Fourth, I don't really have anything to lose should I ask her and she says no, so I will probably do it anyways. I kind of flipped a coin to see if I should bother or not. Don't forget that I think it was 7-8 months if not a year ago that I last recall asking her, and I don't recall spending time moping over her, and I know I have changed a lot since then. Again, she only caught my eye once more about a week ago. BTW, I have cold approached women before and have managed to get their numbers, so every women on campus is fare game for me.

PS: First responder, I DISPISE my honor being insulted by being called a liar. If I seem annoyed, that is why.

Second responder, it takes far more than being rejected to actually hurt my feelings. I have had far, FAR, worse things happen to me.

 

[Von]

First off, not a stalker. I was not even looking for the email address when I saw it. I was looking for the club president's email who I needed to email for official business (I am the Student Government Representative). Second, I am spinning plates, there are several girls, I can name 6 off the top off my head that I am attracted to, who I know from my clubs and classes. Third, no oneitis involved. I know very well there are other women around, and the thought of asking her only popped into my head a week ago. I have been carrying no torch for her for several months, I have other things I have need to focus on. Also, kind of hard to ignore her as she is in half my classes this semester and in half the clubs I regularly go to. Fourth, I don't really have anything to lose should I ask her and she says no, so I will probably do it anyways. I kind of flipped a coin to see if I should bother or not. Don't forget that I think it was 7-8 months if not a year ago that I last recall asking her, and I don't recall spending time moping over her, and I know I have changed a lot since then. Again, she only caught my eye once more about a week ago. BTW, I have cold approached women before and have managed to get their numbers, so every women on campus is fare game for me.

PS: First responder, I DISPISE my honor being insulted by being called a liar. If I seem annoyed, that is why.

Second responder, it takes far more than being rejected to actually hurt my feelings. I have had far, FAR, worse things happen to me.

Stop being so fragile

 

[Fireballs]

If you're not fvcking them, they're not plates

 

[marmel75]

Stop fixating on one girl and start dating other women. Ironically your best shot to get her to go out with you is by having her see you with other women.

No girl wants to be the one that goes out with a man who has no options.

 

[ohrein]

First off, not a stalker. I was not even looking for the email address when I saw it. I was looking for the club president's email who I needed to email for official business (I am the Student Government Representative). Second, I am spinning plates, there are several girls, I can name 6 off the top off my head that I am attracted to, who I know from my clubs and classes. Third, no oneitis involved. I know very well there are other women around, and the thought of asking her only popped into my head a week ago. I have been carrying no torch for her for several months, I have other things I have need to focus on. Also, kind of hard to ignore her as she is in half my classes this semester and in half the clubs I regularly go to. Fourth, I don't really have anything to lose should I ask her and she says no, so I will probably do it anyways. I kind of flipped a coin to see if I should bother or not. Don't forget that I think it was 7-8 months if not a year ago that I last recall asking her, and I don't recall spending time moping over her, and I know I have changed a lot since then. Again, she only caught my eye once more about a week ago. BTW, I have cold approached women before and have managed to get their numbers, so every women on campus is fare game for me.

PS: First responder, I DISPISE my honor being insulted by being called a liar. If I seem annoyed, that is why.

Second responder, it takes far more than being rejected to actually hurt my feelings. I have had far, FAR, worse things happen to me.

You're not sleeping with other women so you're not spinning plates. She's only a plate if at the very least you've kissed her and have plans with her in the future. MINIMUM. But most guys on here would say sleeping with her is a prerequisite for a plate. I'm more lenient and classify a girl you could potentially be sleeping with in the near future a plate. But the point is, there is no chance you'd be chasing a woman who has shown negative interest in you if you were actually spinning plates with an abundance mindset. She wouldn't even register on your radar if that was true. So it seems to me that you're lying to yourself. Not trying to insult you, trying to wake you up to a new frame of mind my friend! Forget her and actually start dating (and sleeping with) other women, then you will forget about this other chick.