"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

I need som guidance

kipper034

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I see your point sandhawk and Kingsam. And I thought about it, reading other threads, and you guys were right. I was definately over analyzing everything, which is a first step to failure, instead of going with the flow and taking it for what it is. I definately needed some of your "harsh" comments.

So thanks for a reality check and I am just going to sit back and what happens.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

SandHawk

Master Don Juan
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Mar 1, 2009
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Amsterdam, Netherlands
I think you misunderstood the concept behind these forums. We're not your regular dating advice, we're solely here to learn people to be successful with women in general, not how to hit on that specific girl you oh so gloriously placed on a pedestal and god knows how much want to make yours and marry her and spread your pathetic genes with.

The goal behind these forums is to get laid loads and learn to be be a Don Juan, a person whom all women adore, not just one.

No, you're not spoiling her, you're just doing what every other guy around you does: Kiss her ass in the hope she eventually loves you. And you cannot stop doing that all the sudden, now would you? So, depending on what you want: this particular girl or girls in general, we cannot help or we can help you.
 

kipper034

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Hey sandhawk, you didn't have to sound so harsh... You are from Amsterdam? Great, that's one of my favorites cities in Europe as I studied in Nederland for 6 months.

I do see your point. The reason why I posted is that because I do have tendency to go both extremes, to jerk and nice guy. I had two potential relationship destroyed because of that and now I am just trying to find the right balance for betterment. I want to avoid the trap of falling into same hole; I am hoping I am not spoiling her too much. Buying flowers on those days, well, it a norm here. I see others posted their problems as well and those ones who need advice. Similar to others all I am asking is for advice/guidance perhaps not just with her but for the future.
 

SandHawk

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Location
Amsterdam, Netherlands
Then read the DJ bible, which can be found here: http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

Don't ask advice for this girl in particular, but ask on how to improve yourself. Not to us, but also to yourself. And instead of being a weakling that bends to her(or any girl in general) demands, lay down your own rules and stick to them.
 

kingsam

Master Don Juan
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England, baby!
sandhawk was NOT being harsh......he was being truthful and honest- which to some people (like you?) may hurt
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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