I need life guidance. My life is ruined.

[Boxer]

My girlfriend broke up with me. I did something horrible to her.

she broke up with me.

One night she's all "I love you I can't wait to see you tomarrow" and after that a guy told her sister what I did to her three months ago. Her sister forced her to break up to me or shed tell their parents. I wake up to a text messege saying she was done with me.

The break up went ok. I was fine. I did not eat for 36 hours because I was physically sick from the breakup but I started eating again and felt better.

Last night she sent me a FB messege saying that she did not want to delete me from her memory. I cracked and I went from getting over her to wanting her back. I tried my best to convince her. She kept saying no she was done with me. I kept saying us and we and she kept saying I.

I told her about how for the past year I lied to her. I told her that I hooked up with a lot of girls. the truth is she was my first everything at age 17. I mastered the art of faking it until I made it.

I wanted to keep destroying myself for her, I thought if I destroyed myself enough for her she would take me back. I publicly announced everything over Facebook. Now all of my friends know that I'm a fake. I still don't even have the girl. I make her look like a princess, I'm just a pile of ****.


I am left with nothing. I have no man cards left. I gave up all of my pride for this girl. I'm not Brad anymore. I'm no one. I'm feeling really suicidal right now. I have no friends, family, or girlfriend I can turn to anymore.


I still want her back bad. I have so much regret. She still says she loves me but do to her sister finding out it's a permanent break up. If it was not for her sister we would still be together.


I need help DJ's. I'm back at point 0. I'm no longer brad. I'm no one. I'll never get this girl back. I need to build myself up again. I don't want to feel like this or do anything to myself I will regret. help please.

 

[Boxer]

I don't know what to do

 

[joverby]

So, she broke up cause you lied about being w/ a bunch of girls? I have a feeling there has to be more to it but I guess that's not really the point right now.

I've been going downhill with my relationship for a while now. And for some hindsight, that's why everyones advice to get out when you still have some dignity / self respect is crucial.

She doesn't want to be w/ you and/or you guys weren't just really that compatible. It's a tough fact to deal with about someone you care a lot about. But your blinders are on right now and you will easily look past all of her flaws and see her as this perfect chick who you "NEED."

You really shouldn't need anyone but yourself. That's why being independent / staying that way is very important. You can still get very hurt by someone you care about / trust but you will be able to recover becasue you know you don't need them to live.

I would just cut off all contact w/ this chick for my own sake. Delete her from facebook / delete her # so you aren't tempted, everything. Out of sight, out of mind. It helps with the healing process.

 

[Iceberg]

It's a breakup.

Your life is ruined? Are you trying to win an Academy Award or what?

Since when is a girlfriend your life?

 

[Boxer]

she broke up with me for something I did two/three months ago. I feel horrible about what I did. Guilty.

The problem is I don't have any more self respect or dignity left in me.

 

[Boxer]

We went out ofr a year. I made the mistake of turning her into my life.

 

[Boxer]

I want to beat up the guy that she told about what happened that night who told her sister. I might kill him... I'm lost and have nothing to lose.

 

[joverby]

We be trollin?

 

[Boxer]

No im not. I even have the logs to prove it.

 

[Boxer]

me: its just
****
12:17 AM ok I'll say it
**** my pride
I love you
but
now
we are gone
for ever
christinia knows
it's over
it's like we are two perfect people
one mistake
****ed it
for me
I'M SORRY
I was playing "bro"
all the time
IM ****ING SORRY
12:18 AM **** my pride
does not mean **** to me
I remember the night
our aniversary
you touched my chin
and said
"how did I Get so lucky"
I wanted to say something
but my heart
was so warm
your voice was likea godess
it stunned me
i couldent say anything back
12:19 AM Sydney: stupid anthony
12:20 AM me: stupid will
stupid johnny
stupid michelle
Sydney: yeah
12:21 AM me: talk more please
Sydney: i dont know what to say
12:22 AM im not happy, it's like, i feel like i was finally standing up for myself, and then when we were breaking up like you werent trying to fight back, i thought you didn't care
12:23 AM when i saw it, it was like 38 minutes ago
it said *
12:24 AM oh
12:25 AM what do you want to say
12:29 AM i do though. it's just like what you did overpowers that. the love was everything when i didn't think about that
i know, but we can't. i know you're sorry
12:30 AM but you never told me that before
12:32 AM it was great, wasn't it
12:34 AM i dont want you blaming everything on christina but, she did kinda say like, now that she knew what happened, she would possibly tell my parents if i kept going out with you, like in a long time, not immediately, and she didn't decide it like completely, she said she didn't know what else to do but she had to get rid of you.
12:35 AM no she doesn't want to talk to you
don't ask me that, it won't fix anything
yes
12:36 AM after talking to you like this, hearing what you had to say
damn...
i cant remember :/
12:37 AM me: I'll always protect you
I'll fix everything
Sydney: i told her you would want to talk to her, and she said no
12:38 AM i know you have always followed through, you were always there for me
12:39 AM i believe you, but my sister is very stubborn.
12:40 AM worse than my dad
i know
12:41 AM me: common
One more promise
There's a shirt in your drawer/closet
that says
one more promise
thats' my shirt
12:42 AM Sydney: i dont know

 

[Boxer]

It gets worse at around 2am....

 

[irocknike23]

sooo what did you do 3 months ago?

 

[Boxer]

I just got an other text from her.

Summery

She does not know who I am anymore. The fact that she changed for me becuase i've been with so many other girls. It was all a lie and I did not have to change for you. I don't even know who you are anymore. If it was all a lie then who are you? Nothing can be the same. Goodbye forever I guess.

 

[cordoncordon]

No im not. I even have the logs to prove it.

You're 18 and a girl broke up with you and your life is ruined???? Seriously?

I think back to when I was 18 and what you are saying is just so ridiculous. I mean, you will have a ton of relationships throughout your life, and 99% of them will involve a break up. Are you going to act this way everytime? I can't even count how many breakups I have had, and yet here I am....all fine and dandy. When you are 18 relationships, though they seem important at the time, are SO meaningless. I mean its like gradeschool kid stuff.

Get up, dust yourself off. Date other women. Get your life in order. And when you do get into a relationship with a new girl...DON'T cheat on her! It's a pretty simple concept.

 

[Boxer]

We went out for over a year! That's not just somethign you can say oh well to! B

 

[cordoncordon]

We went out for over a year! That's not just somethign you can say oh well to! B

Boo hoo. Ive been in relationships that lasted 2 years, 4 years, 3 years, 5 years and many around a year or less. Ive lived with a girl for 3 years, another for 5, moved across the country with her. And guess what, we broke up, and am now in another absolutely wonderful relationship with a girl for 2 years now.

You deal with it, and move on. Life is too short to worry about this crap, especially when you are 18! My word man. 18! Do you know how many relationships you will be in in your life? I barely even remember anyone I dated when I was 18, that is how utterly unimportant it was.

 

[irocknike23]

We went out for over a year! That's not just somethign you can say oh well to! B

ya dude its over if she feels that strong about it.

all you can do is move on


ya that **** hurts a lot and you feel like she is the only girl in the world for you(been there done that)

all i can tell is how i recovered

1)dont go chasing girls 5 min after the break up its just gona feel not right and weird since its not her
2)keep yourself occupied and busy and dont text or call her(and for dear god dont make the mistake i made and look at her facebook page 30 times a day, thats just gona make it wayyy worse)
3)like 1 or 2 weeks later start messing around with girls



it will start to hurt less about 2 months later but you will still feel like **** for about 4-6 months(if your into her as much as i was into my old girl)



and whatever you do DO NOT sit in your room or house all day thinking about her and what could of been if you wouldnt have done ____________.
that makes the day go by WAYYYYY longer and more miserable




but cmon dude its summer, theres a ton of girls out there so enjoy yourself

 

[loveshogun]

Dear Boxer,

You, my boy, have bigger problems than women. Oh, sure, your situation with your ex IS a problem. But, it's only a smaller problem in this bigger web of "you have no direction in life."

You're blaming your depression on this girl, who, believe it or not, is not unique or special, because there are many more out there. The only thing that made her special was that she was the only one willing to put up with you.

I don't believe for a second that you were successfully cheating on her with anyone. So you're either a troll, or just incredibly neurotic. But I digress. My advice to you is to -not- ask for advice about "this girl." Ask for advice about YOU. What do YOU want to accomplish in life, for yourself? If you say anything that could be read as "i want teh ex gurlfrendz back lolololol," then kindly remove yourself from the internet.

Probably not what you want to hear right now. But, I don't care - it's what you need to hear.

Stop crying and figure things out - like your ancestors have been doing for thousands of years.

 

[DonGorgon]

you have other issues that getting her back wont fix... fix those issues then find another women to love

 

[women haze]

At 18 you should be having fun....start Trying to think about the man you want to be. Holy crap you have a whole lot of life ahead of you than to worry about some girl you were sticking your **** in for a year.

I wish i were 18 again...so many different choices....