"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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I may be going through another lull point...

evolvingnerd

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guys it's happened to me before, but my conversation is going down the tube

i can't muster the energy nor the will to talk to people, and when i'm out with my friends, i'm again just sitting there and chilling, and not saying shyte all. it may be getting to the point that they wouldn't want to call me out anymore cause i'm a killjoy (that's what i would do if the situation were reversed anyway)

so i want to ask, what do you guys talk to your friends about?
say if you were to just chill at someone's place, what things do you talk about?

i've found that i can only talk about computer games :eek:

any ideas?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Lifeforce

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Forget about what you are going to say.

When you talk to people you are not conveying words, you are conveying an emotion to the poeple you talk to. I have been in your situation many times and I bet you feel you must talk but you just can't find anything to talk about. So you force yourself to talk and when you do that you convey an emotion of forced talking and the convo seems really lousy?

So it's important to understand that the words itself is not important, you have to feel fun to be fun to be with. I don't know what makes you have fun. I like to watch black adder and drink some whisky to it and laugh my ass off, I really mean laugh as hell and the endorphines start to rush.

Have fun before you go out, watch some funny movie, stand in the an icecold shower and laugh as hell. Read some stuff on a comic site. Anything to lighten the mood. When you got the mood the words will flow.
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by evolvingnerd
i've found that i can only talk about computer games :eek:
Get a life. Try some other hobbies.

Read the news/watch sports. That'll give you sh!t to talk about. And pick up some new hobbies other than video games.

Also, the more people you talk to/associate with, the more stories/personalities you encounter, the more you have to relay to others.
 

Dukester

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Re: Re: I may be going through another lull point...

Originally posted by squirrels
Also, the more people you talk to/associate with, the more stories/personalities you encounter, the more you have to relay to others.
good point! tons of gossip, and new material available all the time
 

BigWillyStyle

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i've found that i can only talk about computer games
if you said Star Trek and computer games then you'd be a 100% bonafide dork.

What are your other hobbies? If you have more hobbies other then god damn video games you should have more to talk about. Video Games are ok, I quit them after highschool though, just do them in moderation.

The fact that you say you can only ever talk about computer games makes me think your some Star Trek "Beam me up scottie!" type geek. Get some more hobbies other then video games like Squirrels suggested, keep evolving from that nerd persona, if being a TRUE nerd is who you think you are, then stick to it though, no point being someone you're not.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

thefonz

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evolving my friend......let it be

How bout a zen story for all, something to think about:

A student who practices zen has been having a down period, his mediations are not going well and he cannot figure out why. To find answers to this problem he makes an appointment with an old wise zen master to talk to him about why this is happening and what he can do about it. "Oh master, my meditations have been going horrible for the past few weeks, i cannot concentrate, my legs feel cramped, and i am easily distracted by everything, what must i do to get better. Please help me oh wise one!" To this the master simply replied, "It will pass." The student somewhat dissapointed with the response left the room. He continued with his meditations despite his troubles in attaining a state if deep concentration. After a few weeks of a continued and consistant effort he began to notice his meditations improving. He wanted to share the good news with the wise zen master. SO he made another appointment to speak to him. "OH master, my mediations have been going great! I feel everything is coming to me clearly now, I can focus without distraction. It's AMAZING!" To this the old wise zen master simply replied, "It will pass."
 

evolvingnerd

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Originally posted by thefonz
evolving my friend......let it be

How bout a zen story for all, something to think about:

A student who practices zen has been having a down period, his mediations are not going well and he cannot figure out why. To find answers to this problem he makes an appointment with an old wise zen master to talk to him about why this is happening and what he can do about it. "Oh master, my meditations have been going horrible for the past few weeks, i cannot concentrate, my legs feel cramped, and i am easily distracted by everything, what must i do to get better. Please help me oh wise one!" To this the master simply replied, "It will pass." The student somewhat dissapointed with the response left the room. He continued with his meditations despite his troubles in attaining a state if deep concentration. After a few weeks of a continued and consistant effort he began to notice his meditations improving. He wanted to share the good news with the wise zen master. SO he made another appointment to speak to him. "OH master, my mediations have been going great! I feel everything is coming to me clearly now, I can focus without distraction. It's AMAZING!" To this the old wise zen master simply replied, "It will pass."
hahahaha
nice story
but yeah, i'm definitley trying to break away from my nerdy tendancies
i'm gonna get a job - that'll help, with the daily interactions

and LifeForce..that's exactly what is happening. i try to force the conversation, and then afterwards feel the awward silence would have been less awkward :p

thanks for the help fellas
first i'll start with me, findin some hobbies for myself
 
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