"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I made a vow... I'm keeping it

Johnny Danger

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I promised myself I'd get advice earlier next time, while things were still going well.

Met an amazing girl over the summer at an art conference in Chicago. As a man whose been on countless dates, this was lightning-- certainly the deepest connection I've shared with a person in this lifetime. It was over as quick as lightning too. After the most amazing sex of my life, we were on airplanes back home. Her back to Montreal, Canada, and me back to Nashville.

Though we both tacitly agreed that a long distance relationship was out of the question, we ended up emailing non-stop and on talking on the phone for the next two months, continuing to discover remarkable commonalities with one another.

Things seemed to cool a bit in September and I realized that I was spending too much of my time living in a fantasy relationship. I felt that the distance would eventually take its toll, so I waxed romantic (AFC I suppose), asked if she'd be up for going on a date if I went Canada for a few months, and a few days later got my heart handed to me via a LJBF email: "I had a great time with you in Chicago and I think we've found kindred spirits in one another, but romantically, I think we're too much alike and couldn't support each other in that way."

So I depressed for two weeks, didn't do much of anything except the gym and write in my journal. Bounced back now pretty well, still love sick, but otherwise life is good. I met two girls last weekend at an art show who really liked my work, we went out afterwards for drinks and they were treating me like I was some kind of celebrity. I don't know about any deep connections but both of them have high interest, very touchy and sexual, and were anxious to give me their numbers. And they're both cute, and I'd like to possibly get something going here. (they're basically acting like the Montreal girl was acting in the early stages). I almost don't trust myself to handle this new opportunity right and would appreciate any opinions and feedback. Though I've dated a lot and had a few semi-long term relationships, I've got a bit of a trauma history and what I experienced briefly in Chicago this Summer was unreal, the closest I've come to being intimate with a person I had real feelings for. I want more of that.

thanks!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DonGorgon

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Johnny Danger said:
...this was lightning-- certainly the deepest connection I've shared with a person in this lifetime. It was over as quick as lightning too....!
^^thats the new relationship style for the young independent modern females she will have 1 2 or 3 week relationships then on to the next dude... now is a great time to be female .. male over population gives you unlimited supply of options and society has placed it highest value on you now more than ever before...
 
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5string

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Good stuff.

Just don't get emotionally attached and don't wear your heart on your sleave.

Listen to DonGordon. He's right.
 
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