I made a girl hate me.

[Colin O'Brien]

This is something where I think my inexperience got to me. I was hooking up with this girl for a while. The whole time I thought we were just having fun.. she would call me up and say "i'm loonely" or something, then we'd go hang and eventually start making out. She facebook chats me every now and then and we talk for a bit about random stuff.. but overall I thought our relationship was just hooking up, and I thought she thought otherwise.

Then we're talking on fb chat tonight and she starts saying I don't give a **** about her, and that she views me as a close friend. I didn't know what to make of that, because I thought we were just hooking up and I didn't know she thought I was a really close friend. I tell her the honest truth, that I view her as a hookup first and a friend second, and that I thought she thought the same thing.

Well she flips out, saying that she's really hurt that I used her. She said she viewed me as a close friend all this time and she wouldn't have spent all the time talking to me if she didn't. She got offended at how I spent time talking to her if I didn't view her as a close friend. The thing that really seemed to tick her off was how I was so "heartlessly honest" (her words), by telling her that I viewed her as a hookup first and a friend second. But I've heard from many sources that honesty is the best thing in this situation.


****, she REALLY hates me. I really have no reference point for this kind of thing... this is the first time I've had anything like this happen to me. I guess it's all natural on the quest to success with women.

I need some perspective.. and some words of wisdom to go along with this. Help me out?

Thanks!

 

[SharinganUser]

Why were you talking about your relationship status with her?

 

[Colin O'Brien]

Dunno man, she brought it up all of a sudden. We had a mutual confusion as to the nature of our relationship.

 

[SharinganUser]

dont worry to much about it. Just back off for awhile.

 

[Colin O'Brien]

hah.. she actually backed off in the course of this thread's replies. she's more relaxed now, and she's apologizing for being a crazy *****.

anyway.. my point is, how can I use this as a learning experience? did I make the right move in being honest with her? I feel like I can gain a lot of 1st hand knowledge from this. Was I wrong for assuming that she was only down to have fun? If I'm ever again in a situation where a girl hooks up with me yet still talks to me a lot just normally, is it correct to assume that she's looking to be primarily friends..or was this a special case?

 

[SharinganUser]

not really, next time try to use more tact. But never talk about it if you can.

 

[Single_Sucks]

Dude, heed my words now

Women can be a whole lot of crazy.
If they start exposing you to crazy **** like this then keep a cool head, ask them to explain and listen.
If it still ain't making sense then just get away from her for while. Keep yourself above such petty **** as this, don't get involved with it or try to give it your logic.

Stand up for the calm, rational, levelheadedness which has long been a quality of real men. She will respect you for this quality, once she realises what a crazy ***** shes been (the next day).

 

[slaog]

I'd say she either likes you or she was having a bad day. At least she knows where she stands.

 

[Southbound]

... But never talk about it if you can.

I've personally gotten into a lot of trouble using this method. Apparently I have a personality/temperament that identifies me as good significant other material. I found I was a lot better off making sure girls knew where we stood, or else they'd get a rude awakening later when they found out I wasn't going to be their boyfriend, and they'd be really angry/hurt.

From a getting laid standpoint you're probably better off not saying anything, but I'm uncomfortable making people hate me.

 

[Energizer]

Dude, heed my words now

Women can be a whole lot of crazy.
If they start exposing you to crazy **** like this then keep a cool head, ask them to explain and listen.
If it still ain't making sense then just get away from her for while. Keep yourself above such petty **** as this, don't get involved with it or try to give it your logic.

Stand up for the calm, rational, levelheadedness which has long been a quality of real men. She will respect you for this quality, once she realises what a crazy ***** shes been (the next day).

Sound advice.

I would tell her to f*ck right off and delete her from facebook, delete her number and find a "more normal" (as if) woman. Life is too short to be dealing with sh*t. Plenty more women around who are looking for fun and not friendships with benefits.