I don't know why but I no longer have the confidence to open chicks, and I get nervous again when I talk to them, and if I start a convo and they give me a short response I feel like they are not interested and lose motivation to continue talking. Why is this so? I never used to be like this, now I am nervous wreck and can't even approach chicks, not knowing what to say, how to act or behave. I feel very pathetic and lost a lot of respect for myself, I feel like a waste of life. Please help me guys.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I lost my ability to open chicks...WHY?
- Thread starter nando
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
nismo-4
Moderator
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2005
- Messages
- 4,438
- Reaction score
- 1,142
The last time I thought about asking a girl out, I froze solid! Then I threw up in front of a lot of people near a bar!
This caused me to run away of course, shower, then try to brush up on my game.
This caused me to run away of course, shower, then try to brush up on my game."Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I read so much material but it still hasn't affected me positively!
What is reading pick-up material going to do.
You're not gonna get better unless you practice.
You always hear guys talking about how they've read this and that, and they wonder why they struggle.
Reading something will not help you get over AA or your lack of confidence.
I go into everything thinking "I'm awesome and it's great to be around me, if she wants to tag along for the ride, then cool, but if not, I'm still awesome so it doesn't matter"
Just realize that everyone else doesn't matter except you and you'll be fine. Just have fun with it.
Just realize that everyone else doesn't matter except you and you'll be fine. Just have fun with it.
Michele l'Arcangelo
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2005
- Messages
- 1,460
- Reaction score
- 22
dude... when you think about it... it becomes true.
don't doubt yourself.
it's all in your mind... it's placebo.
unless you literally have lost your ability to talk to someone, don't worry about it.
don't doubt yourself.
it's all in your mind... it's placebo.
unless you literally have lost your ability to talk to someone, don't worry about it.
DismantleRepair
Don Juan
I remember the first real approach I did.
I saw what she was wearing, then thought of a good neg opener.
Still apprehensive, I took a deep breath, remembered what I had read on this site, then said to myself:
"Rejection is better than regret."
"Rejection is better than regret."
"Rejection is better than regret."
Then I walked up and said the opener, and that was that.
1) Think of something to say. Even "hi" will do.
2) Breathe in, breathe out.
3) Pick up your testicles.
4) Approach.
I saw what she was wearing, then thought of a good neg opener.
Still apprehensive, I took a deep breath, remembered what I had read on this site, then said to myself:
"Rejection is better than regret."
"Rejection is better than regret."
"Rejection is better than regret."
Then I walked up and said the opener, and that was that.
1) Think of something to say. Even "hi" will do.
2) Breathe in, breathe out.
3) Pick up your testicles.
4) Approach.
nismo-4
Moderator
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2005
- Messages
- 4,438
- Reaction score
- 1,142
Great answer!TheEdgeOf said:
All in all, you haven't lost your ability to open chicks. You may need to improve your game in some aspects This is not an RPG, where your swagger stat decreases and you lose hit points with each approach. You should at least try, then you have a chance to win. If you don't, you instantly lose. Speaking of RPG's, you keep gaining experience points and raising your levels!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
SharinganUser
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2006
- Messages
- 1,776
- Reaction score
- 50
What do you mean you can't open chicks anymore? You mean like to de-virginize them? That's the only way I can think of to open a chick. Doesn't help that most virgins these days are about 13.
Guys I went today but my brain just freezes, I mumble my sentences and can't speak properly, I have no clue why this happen, will speaking to more random chicks alleviate this? Or is there something wrong with me? I find that if in the past I spoke to a chick nervously then forever i am nervous around them, but if I see a new one, I can talk to her confidently if I was confident from the get-go, I hope this is not confusing!
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2007
- Messages
- 4,679
- Reaction score
- 102
Confidence comes and goes... thats life.
You have an inferiority complex with women. Why is this you might ask!? Well by constantly talking yourself down/thinking bad of yourself it eventually goes from the conscious to the subconscious. Now when you approach women your subconscious automatically does what you've been thinking about your whole life... make you act like your not worthy.nando said:
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
And unless you stay in practice you do run the risk of losing whatever confidence edge you've gained. It's not a for sure thing, for some it's like riding a bike and you can pick it up in a few seconds with months of no gaming, but it's not unheard of for people to "get out of the zone" by not spending enough time interacting with girls.Ratisson said:
DonJoseCantosie
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2007
- Messages
- 839
- Reaction score
- 11
Hey Nando, i'd say ur just rusty as of late. U haven't lost the ability at all...just that awareness, feelings, and mentality of approaching as prolly shifted a bit. I think the best way is to go back to the basics. Start over, sure u might feel discouraged and regretting but it's something we gotta do.
Crazy Asian
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2007
- Messages
- 1,060
- Reaction score
- 9
- Age
- 34
Reading won't do jack sh1t.nando said:How did you guys change the way you viewed things? I read so much material but it still hasn't affected me positively!
Sure if you read the entire Bible, you may think to yourself that you know how to act, but really, the next day you will forget it.
Read ONE GOOD POST.
Apply it liberally for a week.
and go on to the next thing you want to improve in your life.
to the OP:
I've been having this problem too.
I wasn't as good with girls as I used to be.
But I couldn't give a sh1t.
I've been focusing on my life a lot more.
I used to approach at my school everyday, but now i just study for tests and play violin during open periods.
DonJoseCantosie
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2007
- Messages
- 839
- Reaction score
- 11
Crazy Asian, ur prolly still better than u use to be skillwise..it's just getting back to the swing of things and getting consistent again.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.