I lost my ability to open chicks...WHY?

[nando]

I don't know why but I no longer have the confidence to open chicks, and I get nervous again when I talk to them, and if I start a convo and they give me a short response I feel like they are not interested and lose motivation to continue talking. Why is this so? I never used to be like this, now I am nervous wreck and can't even approach chicks, not knowing what to say, how to act or behave. I feel very pathetic and lost a lot of respect for myself, I feel like a waste of life. Please help me guys.

 

[slaog]

Simple things help. I say to myself that I'm the prize etc so instead of feeling like I'm not worthy like I used to, these days I feel more than worthy.

 

[crossboss]

I had that problem, basically I put too much emphasis on what they think, rather than believing in myself that I'd get better.

 

[nismo-4]

The last time I thought about asking a girl out, I froze solid! Then I threw up in front of a lot of people near a bar! This caused me to run away of course, shower, then try to brush up on my game.

 

[nando]

How did you guys change the way you viewed things? I read so much material but it still hasn't affected me positively!

 

[Ratisson]

I read so much material but it still hasn't affected me positively!

What is reading pick-up material going to do.

You're not gonna get better unless you practice.

You always hear guys talking about how they've read this and that, and they wonder why they struggle.

Reading something will not help you get over AA or your lack of confidence.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

I go into everything thinking "I'm awesome and it's great to be around me, if she wants to tag along for the ride, then cool, but if not, I'm still awesome so it doesn't matter"

Just realize that everyone else doesn't matter except you and you'll be fine. Just have fun with it.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

dude... when you think about it... it becomes true.

don't doubt yourself.

it's all in your mind... it's placebo.

unless you literally have lost your ability to talk to someone, don't worry about it.

 

[DismantleRepair]

I remember the first real approach I did.

I saw what she was wearing, then thought of a good neg opener.

Still apprehensive, I took a deep breath, remembered what I had read on this site, then said to myself:

"Rejection is better than regret."
"Rejection is better than regret."
"Rejection is better than regret."

Then I walked up and said the opener, and that was that.

1) Think of something to say. Even "hi" will do.
2) Breathe in, breathe out.
3) Pick up your testicles.
4) Approach.

 

[nismo-4]

I go into everything thinking "I'm awesome and it's great to be around me, if she wants to tag along for the ride, then cool, but if not, I'm still awesome so it doesn't matter"

Just realize that everyone else doesn't matter except you and you'll be fine. Just have fun with it.

Great answer!

All in all, you haven't lost your ability to open chicks. You may need to improve your game in some aspects This is not an RPG, where your swagger stat decreases and you lose hit points with each approach. You should at least try, then you have a chance to win. If you don't, you instantly lose. Speaking of RPG's, you keep gaining experience points and raising your levels!

 

[SharinganUser]

What do you mean you can't open chicks anymore? You mean like to de-virginize them? That's the only way I can think of to open a chick. Doesn't help that most virgins these days are about 13.

 

[nando]

Guys I went today but my brain just freezes, I mumble my sentences and can't speak properly, I have no clue why this happen, will speaking to more random chicks alleviate this? Or is there something wrong with me? I find that if in the past I spoke to a chick nervously then forever i am nervous around them, but if I see a new one, I can talk to her confidently if I was confident from the get-go, I hope this is not confusing!

 

[DonGorgon]

Confidence comes and goes... thats life.

 

[slaog]

Guys I went today but my brain just freezes, I mumble my sentences and can't speak properly, I have no clue why this happen, will speaking to more random chicks alleviate this? Or is there something wrong with me? I find that if in the past I spoke to a chick nervously then forever i am nervous around them, but if I see a new one, I can talk to her confidently if I was confident from the get-go, I hope this is not confusing!

You have an inferiority complex with women. Why is this you might ask!? Well by constantly talking yourself down/thinking bad of yourself it eventually goes from the conscious to the subconscious. Now when you approach women your subconscious automatically does what you've been thinking about your whole life... make you act like your not worthy.

 

[nando]

You have an inferiority complex with women. Why is this you might ask!? Well by constantly talking yourself down/thinking bad of yourself it eventually goes from the conscious to the subconscious. Now when you approach women your subconscious automatically does what you've been thinking about your whole life... make you act like your not worthy.

What's the best way to reverse this bro?

 

[PRMoon]

You're not gonna get better unless you practice.

And unless you stay in practice you do run the risk of losing whatever confidence edge you've gained. It's not a for sure thing, for some it's like riding a bike and you can pick it up in a few seconds with months of no gaming, but it's not unheard of for people to "get out of the zone" by not spending enough time interacting with girls.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Hey Nando, i'd say ur just rusty as of late. U haven't lost the ability at all...just that awareness, feelings, and mentality of approaching as prolly shifted a bit. I think the best way is to go back to the basics. Start over, sure u might feel discouraged and regretting but it's something we gotta do.

 

[Crazy Asian]

How did you guys change the way you viewed things? I read so much material but it still hasn't affected me positively!

Reading won't do jack sh1t.
Sure if you read the entire Bible, you may think to yourself that you know how to act, but really, the next day you will forget it.

Read ONE GOOD POST.
Apply it liberally for a week.
and go on to the next thing you want to improve in your life.


to the OP:
I've been having this problem too.
I wasn't as good with girls as I used to be.
But I couldn't give a sh1t.
I've been focusing on my life a lot more.
I used to approach at my school everyday, but now i just study for tests and play violin during open periods.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Crazy Asian, ur prolly still better than u use to be skillwise..it's just getting back to the swing of things and getting consistent again.

 

[rimman]

Also it doesn't seem like youre enjoying opening chicks anymore..

If it aint fun you shouldn't be doing it.