I look forward to the day...

resilient

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2005
Messages
1,678
Reaction score
1,412
When I finally accept myself 100% and all my human imperfections.
When I successfully complete my career transition.
When I have medical initials attached to my last name.
When I finally internalize IDGAF.
When I don’t care if I make as much as the next guy.
When I don’t care about the competition in game and the professional world.
When I don’t give a crap if a main plate or regular plate moves swiftly on to another guy, ex, Chad, Tyrone, or next beta.
When I don’t care about getting ghosted, ignored, or blocked on social media or OLD.
When I don’t give a crap about monitoring unpredictable interest level.
When I don’t care if I ever get remarried or resettle down with someone.
When I stop attracting AWs, narcs/covert, women with guys only friends, toxic, etc.
When I attract a feminine, family, and spiritual-minded woman.
When I meet someone who’s willing to invest in me just as much as I’m willing to invest in them.
When I’m able to walk away from disrespect without remorse after trying to salvage a bad relationship.
When I’m happy with or without a woman or women in my life.
When I’m happy with my guitar musician development and hobbies in general.
When I’m happy with my career and personal development.
When I’m happy with health goals (weight, bf%, cardio, lifting).
When I’m happy with my social spheres.
When I accept full responsibility for my life and choose to make the best of it no matter what comes my way.
.
.
.
.
I’ll be closer to becoming a better man and owning up to the name, Don Juan. I don’t know if all of those wishes can come true. I know I can least be active and work towards those goals and see how much I can enjoy living in the present and continuously striving for greatness.
 

resilient

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2005
Messages
1,678
Reaction score
1,412
Low key venting in my OP.

Indifference is one of the hardest skills to internalize when shedding a lifetime of nice guy habits. If anyone has a good life stories on how they adapted this mindset consistently into their personality, I’m all ears.

I’ve been around this forum forever and I still struggle hard with women. I’m getting better at leading as a man and planning logistics yet find myself investing too much too early, they lose interest and bail for another guy.

I keep hoping with all the lessons I’ve learned from dating and self improvement that my options would improve yet I still seem to attract the wrong type.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,887
Reaction score
12,116
Location
DFW, TX
Low key venting in my OP.

Indifference is one of the hardest skills to internalize when shedding a lifetime of nice guy habits. If anyone has a good life stories on how they adapted this mindset consistently into their personality, I’m all ears.

I’ve been around this forum forever and I still struggle hard with women. I’m getting better at leading as a man and planning logistics yet find myself investing too much too early, they lose interest and bail for another guy.

I keep hoping with all the lessons I’ve learned from dating and self improvement that my options would improve yet I still seem to attract the wrong type.
Worry about the type that's into a guy like you. She will show her interest so it's nothing to raise. Let women choose.

Keep staying to your purpose as a man.

Keep involving yourself socially.

Build a life outside of women you truly enjoy.
 

resilient

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2005
Messages
1,678
Reaction score
1,412
@ubercat... I keep trying different church’s and have struck out there. It’s hard to vibe with these women. Shields are in full force pre/during/post service. Sometimes when we’re out at socials they relax a little, yet still hard to isolate and make headway in set. #close helps a little too if there’s some mutual attraction. Still tricky.

@IKO69, I believe it dude. Every time I’ve had women interested and pursue me ironically is when I pursued my goals hard and couldn’t care less if I had one, two, or zero plates going. I just pursued my hobbies, socialized a ton and let myself be happy. They sensed I had a purpose and were attracted. Whenever I focused on them, text hard trying to set up dates they radio silence/ghost. It’s like they could sense I was desperate for dates. Silly afc moves. o_O

Monk mode feels great for a while until I get lonely or feeling like I’m missing out on dates when I see everyone in relationships or read about all the success stories here of guys hooking up... I get discouraged.
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,844
Reaction score
2,423
Location
Australia
Oz isn't very churchy. I could imagine ASD shields would be at max. Maybe try some volunteer thing at the church. It's going to be easier to chat with them a little if you working alongside them R normally always running fundraisers.
 

Roober

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2016
Messages
2,385
Reaction score
2,124
The nice guy is very hard to shed. Putting others before yourself is a great quality, but can often be such a deterrent to women. I suppose my change was caused by my ex and massive amount of emotional turmoil it caused. If that didnt occur, not sure I would have woke up.

Basically, I bent over backwards to be with this girl, she barely reciprocated, the sex got much worse, less time spent together, "I dont want to hurt you", etc etc. Then she bailed on me for another dude. Everything with the red pill fit and made sense. Then I started reading like crazy, and all the authors said the same thing... women want real men! So then I asked... what is a real man? David Deidas "the way of the superior man" is good for this answer. While Rollo is also very good, his actual life doesn't seem to properly represent what he writes.

So I look at it like this...
1. You are the prince and everyone else is beneath you. You have to believe this, but not actually act this way. With every person I meet, they subconsciously get put below me or above me. I can count on less than one hand how many people I have met above me. When you do this with other men, you realize you are above 99% of them. Why would a woman leave you for them? Women date uo, not down. If a woman leaves you, it's her loss, not yours.

2. Your purpose is above everything else. Your purpose may change, it may be fluid, but it is your priority. And where do a lot of guys screw up? Your purpose cannot be your family! You must have a purpose outside of your family.

3. Spin plates. I've always felt I was far above my exwife, which is likely why she puts me through crap. It's the crabs in a barrel concept. Spinning plates makes you realize... "hey, I have a ton of options out there". I get to pick who I spend my time with. For the first couple months, I was going on 3-4 dates a week. Most of which I would discard after I got what I wanted.

The light bulb cant just click on to get rid of the nice guy. Actually, the nice guy will likely always be there. If you are a giver, there will always be part of you that's a nice guy. It is not a bad quality to have at all. In this day and age, it is not only great, but a rare quality. However, the nice guy is not an attractive quality. Nice guy = supplicator.
And supplicator = feminine quality.

Save that for a lady that deserves it and you monitor how much "nice guy" you dish out. Or better yet, use that nice guy for community service or something more meaningful.
 
Top