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I let her "walk" after a blowout. I've gone NC. Right, wrong? Thoughts please.

Dash Riprock

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I recently went exclusive with a girl I was dating. We have had an absolute blast the past month or so hiking, dining, whitewater rafting, paddle boarding, etc. She's a HB/8.5. We see each other every 3-4 days. We text in-between our dates but not incessantly. The chemistry is really good between us. Lot's of fun. There is a lot of mutual attraction and the conversation is good. I throw her a lot of crap regularly and am huge on C&F. l tease her a lot. I’m 10+ years older than her.

We had a great time paddle boarding about a week and a half ago. We came back to my place and ate some dinner and then had really great sex as we always do, just saying. We then walked my dog to the dog park and there were a few people there. There was one very good-looking woman (maybe 40?) there talking with another woman. As we were leaving, I did glance (for the record: no smile, no eye contact, no "hi," no wave--just a glance) at the woman for maybe 2-3 seconds. My girlfriend who was maybe 10 feet me starts yelling fairly loud “Do you see something you LIKE Dash!!??” It was kind of embarrassing but I shrugged it off as to not make a scene then and there to draw more attention, and actually started laughing, and then calmly walked out of the park. As soon as we were out of the fenced dog area and were walking home, she kept on me about what I liked about the girl. I said all I did was glance at the group and down played it. Finally, I said ok, I like the way she wore her hair just to end the conversation. I reminded my gf I was with her--and her only and to just drop it. She continued to barrage me with other nit-picks after which I said firmly "I'm not apologizing for anything because I didn't do anything wrong. Drop it." She then started walking 20-30 feet behind me and my dog, kind of pouting. I kept telling her to come with us but she wouldn’t. Finally, I turned towards her, still standing 20 feet away and said very firmly"I don't care for your behavior or attitude, now come on." She just stood there 20 feet behind me, now with her mouth literally open. So, I started walking home alone. I get home and she shows up 5 minutes later, laughing to herself. She goes upstairs, changes into nicer clothes she initially came over with, and heads for the door. I called her name (I was going to tell her to never, ever call me out in public like that again), but she said she had no interest in anything I wanted to say. I offered her a ride home but she said she could get one (I doubt it). She walked out the door and left. She lives maybe 1.5 miles away along well-lit roads so I assume she just walked home. Basically, I just let her walk. Didn't come after her, nothing. She was behaving badly, I called her out on it, and she left on her own accord. It's been NC by both of us since (about 10 days).

I’m absolutely baffled by the bizarre behavior especially after the awesome day we had. She seems to be wildly jealous and was always asking (somewhat jokingly) how many women hit on me today or approached me. Really put the hard sell on me to be exclusive so about a week before this fight I said "We could try it."

I think there's a really good chance she's BPD or a "Borderline" as they're called as she meets many of the classic signs.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Outcome? Was she a Borderline? I’m wondering if this is a benign event due to bad timing, PMS, whatever. Seems really extreme. I kind of feel like I got the electric chair for having an overdue parking ticket. Ok, I "glanced" at a hot chick. People look at attractive people. It's human nature. I'm thinking this is what I would have to look forward to many more times if I were to be with her long term. I'm also thinking she may have some serious psychological/emotional issues. Blows because we had a really good connection before this fight.

Any thoughts appreciated

Thank you.

Dash
 

SuckItUp

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Hard to say without more information, but wildly jealous thing struck chord when I was with my BPD ex. She thought I was cheating with the neighbor because the girl said hello to me once. Even after that exchange I told my BPD ex I didn't know the girl's name so it would be hard to be cheating w/her.

It doesn't really matter ultimately because her behavior should be making you slam your hand on the eject button repeatedly because you can't get out fast enough.

Think about how ridiculous and over the top her behavior was for something innocuous as looking at another woman.

Most women might get a bit upset, but only the nutjobs act like this girl did.

Stay strong and do not break NC. She will be coming back soon enough.
 

El Payaso

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Sounds like a nut job.
 

BeExcellent

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Better you learn now who you were really dealing with.

She is immature, neurotic & jealous not to mention embarrassing to herself. She thought she could act this way without consequence and you did the right thing.

You glanced at an attractive woman. Big fat hairy deal. You are not blind.

This girl suffers from what I call Miss Fussbucket Bossy Pants with an over lying diagnosis of Miss Perfect Princess syndrome.

She sought to belittle you in public. Rather adolescent and embarrassing. Jealousy and insecurity are always an auto-eject if they are overt like this. Nightmare in your future. Good job putting your foot down.

If you are an attractive man, you'll be able to meet other more emotionally mature/stable women. I'd stay NC at this point. She's the jack ass here in my opinion.

A woman with class would have mentioned it in the car or a bit later & let you know it bugged her. That would have been a far more reasonable response. It would have opened a conversation rather than acting like a cuckoo crazy. You can do better.

Ask the hot chick at the park out.
 

soulforge

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Dude that is terrible behaviour.. calling you out in public like that is not a nice thing to do.

End of the day, all you did was glance.. Everyone at some point will notice an attractive looking woman or man..

It does not mean your are trying to fuk them.. If you give into behaviour like this, them I am sure she will turn up the heat, and you will see more outbursts like this..

Next time you will dare not look anywhere at all, incase that nut case explodes again!
 

Konada

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Nobody noticed OP LTR-ed this nutcase only after knowing her for a month. Screen better next time.
 

CMNILS87

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Hahaha, she was trying to guilt trip you and make you apologize. Women know men are visual creatures and will stare and sexy things. I'd just as expect her to stare at a guy that walks by with a good physique and nice butt. Women can't not stare. They'd do it around their chick friends and giggle......

She's got the daddy's princess syndrome and I'd back way off, put her in her place, or just text her and tell her things aren't working out.
 

dude99

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I recently went exclusive with a girl I was dating. We have had an absolute blast the past month or so hiking, dining, whitewater rafting, paddle boarding, etc. She's a HB/8.5. We see each other every 3-4 days. We text in-between our dates but not incessantly. The chemistry is really good between us. Lot's of fun. There is a lot of mutual attraction and the conversation is good. I throw her a lot of crap regularly and am huge on C&F. l tease her a lot. I’m 10+ years older than her.

We had a great time paddle boarding about a week and a half ago. We came back to my place and ate some dinner and then had really great sex as we always do, just saying. We then walked my dog to the dog park and there were a few people there. There was one very good-looking woman (maybe 40?) there talking with another woman. As we were leaving, I did glance (for the record: no smile, no eye contact, no "hi," no wave--just a glance) at the woman for maybe 2-3 seconds. My girlfriend who was maybe 10 feet me starts yelling fairly loud “Do you see something you LIKE Dash!!??” It was kind of embarrassing but I shrugged it off as to not make a scene then and there to draw more attention, and actually started laughing, and then calmly walked out of the park. As soon as we were out of the fenced dog area and were walking home, she kept on me about what I liked about the girl. I said all I did was glance at the group and down played it. Finally, I said ok, I like the way she wore her hair just to end the conversation. I reminded my gf I was with her--and her only and to just drop it. She continued to barrage me with other nit-picks after which I said firmly "I'm not apologizing for anything because I didn't do anything wrong. Drop it." She then started walking 20-30 feet behind me and my dog, kind of pouting. I kept telling her to come with us but she wouldn’t. Finally, I turned towards her, still standing 20 feet away and said very firmly"I don't care for your behavior or attitude, now come on." She just stood there 20 feet behind me, now with her mouth literally open. So, I started walking home alone. I get home and she shows up 5 minutes later, laughing to herself. She goes upstairs, changes into nicer clothes she initially came over with, and heads for the door. I called her name (I was going to tell her to never, ever call me out in public like that again), but she said she had no interest in anything I wanted to say. I offered her a ride home but she said she could get one (I doubt it). She walked out the door and left. She lives maybe 1.5 miles away along well-lit roads so I assume she just walked home. Basically, I just let her walk. Didn't come after her, nothing. She was behaving badly, I called her out on it, and she left on her own accord. It's been NC by both of us since (about 10 days).

I’m absolutely baffled by the bizarre behavior especially after the awesome day we had. She seems to be wildly jealous and was always asking (somewhat jokingly) how many women hit on me today or approached me. Really put the hard sell on me to be exclusive so about a week before this fight I said "We could try it."

I think there's a really good chance she's BPD or a "Borderline" as they're called as she meets many of the classic signs.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Outcome? Was she a Borderline? I’m wondering if this is a benign event due to bad timing, PMS, whatever. Seems really extreme. I kind of feel like I got the electric chair for having an overdue parking ticket. Ok, I "glanced" at a hot chick. People look at attractive people. It's human nature. I'm thinking this is what I would have to look forward to many more times if I were to be with her long term. I'm also thinking she may have some serious psychological/emotional issues. Blows because we had a really good connection before this fight.

Any thoughts appreciated

Thank you.

Dash
I had a chick behave the exact same way when i dated her when i was in my 20's

she would blow up the day right after we had the most wonderful times together. Happend time and time again until i realized this was all planned and deliberate on her part. She was a compete disaster to date and when i reached the point where i couldn't take it anymore and dumped her, then i had a fatal attraction bunny boiler on my case.

When i finally managed to get her 100% out of my life i learned years down the road she was a full blown sociopath.

You may have dodged a bullet bud.
 

soulforge

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Been in a similar situation myself.

It got the point where i had to be very careful in what area i looked, if there was a woman about.. or that bich would kick off..

These are very insecure woman
 

dude99

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Been in a similar situation myself.

It got the point where i had to be very careful in what area i looked, if there was a woman about.. or that bich would kick off..

These are very insecure woman
I usually find the reason they lose their mind and make accusations of cheating, mostly becsuse they themselves have cheated or are currently cheating.
 

bigneil

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I’m absolutely baffled by the bizarre behavior especially after the awesome day we had. I think there's a really good chance she's BPD or a "Borderline" as they're called as she meets many of the classic signs.
Oh, God.

SS seriously needs a "I finally scored so I asked for a commitment the first week and now my ego can't stand rejection to the point that I actually hope she's mentally unstable but still want her back" sub-forum.
 

Dash Riprock

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OP here:

I remember now that back on one of our early dates a few months ago, after dinner somewhere, she wanted to pick up a bottle of dessert wine and go back to my place. I said "Not tonight." Her reply was, "Are you telling me no? I usually get what I want." I didn't say a word and asked for the check. BTW, when I dropped her off that night, she invited me in. I came in and we had sex.

Like I wrote earlier, the chemistry and conversation and flow is/was good between us. I'm a massive workout guy who also hikes in the Rockies a lot and she can hang with me and never bitched about anything during our outdoor adventure activities. That's hard to find. Just unsure if I'd put her in the rotation (certainly wouldn't go back to being exclusive) if she contacted me after NC. Tough one. Her behavior was really bad, but do chicks ever deserve a Mulligan after an outburst?
 

Thorninmyside

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You did the right thing by not caving to her bs. It was her choice to behave badly and her choice to walk away. If it wasn't this it would have been something else.
 

SmooveMooves

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Neil man when you post stuff like this it really doesnt add to much to the guys who are still learning.
I detect strongly that you have much compassion wich ALL great men have. I. Starting to wonder if this is nothing more then a competition for you or a major ego feed.
@bigneil is just sick of everything being attributed to a major rare mental disorder, as am I.

You guys do know people can have flaws without having a mental disorder right? Just because she is a jealous bítch doesn't mean she's borderline. It's actually kind of silly how much guys here say it.

"Man this chick ate my sandwich I left in the Fridge after I explicitly told her not to. I think she may be BPD."

That's not how mental disorders work.

OP you handled the situation expertly. You called her out on her bad behavior and you didn't apologize.

You couldn't have handled it any better.

I wouldn't even had admitted to looking though, I just would've told her: 'I look where I want.'

I'm a little confused because it's been 10 days and I would have expected to contact you by then. This must have been the first time she's encountered a man with balls... ever. 10 days is still a crazy amount of time so either she wasn't as interested as you thought initially or she was really thunderstruck by you calling her out.

Either way maintain no contact, she'll reach out eventually. If you continue to continue the relationship it's plate status from here on in. In relationships you can't just disappear for 10 days.

Also, the other guys are right. A month is to soon to be exclusive. If she can't wait longer than a month, she wants it for the wrong reasons.
 

Dash Riprock

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I'm a little confused because it's been 10 days and I would have expected to contact you by then.
@SmoothMoves. Thanks for the feedback, bro. Appreciate it. I personally don't think 10 days of NC is all that long. Maybe she's really stubborn, was coached my her gf's or read about going NC herself, has a cuck on the side (good possibility) she always runs to who will drop everything just to be with her, or worse - she feels her actions were 100% justified.

Looking back, I guess it hasn't been 100% NC. She sent me a text two days after the blowout asking when/where she could get her jacket. I messaged her back saying I'd drop it off at the front desk of my gym by 2:00 that day. She works right next door.
 
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