"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I know you guys have been through this so some insight would really help.

VforVendetta

Don Juan
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As i said, it would help me get out of a place i'm stuck in.

I'm in college, finishing up my first year, living in a big dorm.
All's cool, i feel a craving for women so it's not that. But it's like, i approach, i put in the effort to get myself out there, i'm determined to drive it to the end (close) and then it bores me half way if she's too big of a tease/resisting/playing games...

God forbid it transitions to day two... I just don't want to message/call/hang out if she's not the type of girl i'd be in a relationship with. Not even pu$$y is a motivation to go after these girls even though i clearly am drooling over dat ass.
I'm having a lot of fun living my life, i have stuff i love doing and diving into, discovering, reading. I love partying too, drinking whatever. One nighters are cool and fun in the moment but man... Day two's kill me... What the hell is up with me? Too pu$$y to exert the effort because it's easier to go back into my comfort zone?

And my main problem:
As i'm practicing on getting better with escalation, attuning myself to the right natural timing to amp it up, neg, push pull etc, as soon as i **** up (aka go for the make out too early or get too physical/direct) and she pulls back/says no, my mind just switches to something else entirely and all the craving i had in my body just vanishes. All of that charge i had for her just *poof* gone.

I'm not even engaged in there in the slightest, NO drive to calibrate, stay in there, tweak things more. My body and mind just go ''**** it i got things i wanna do'' and i leave. And i'm not even in abundance with women! I figured i should be hella motivated to get into abundance but nope...

Am i dropping out of state?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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VforVendetta

Don Juan
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Why is this a problem?
Don't get me wrong it doesn't feel wrong, i feel great actually and unburdened by this, it just surprises me that i don't have this drive to get the girl home, to close, to get into abundance.

Clearly emotional abundance is there but since i am not having such great results with women lately and they aren't really reaching out to me themselves,i figured i must be coming from a faulty perspective/holding myself back somewhere "because it's easier".
 

Silko

Don Juan
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'Holding back' is the only way to provoke attraction. In initial phase of course.
 

VforVendetta

Don Juan
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'Holding back' is the only way to provoke attraction. In initial phase of course.
Yeeeah then i'm not doing something right... I don't just hold back i loose interest completely.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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VforVendetta

Don Juan
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What's wrong with following your feelings?
Honestly i follow my feelings and my gut all the time, its just that this time i didnt think it was natural to not have the drive to pursue women.
I didn't want my ego pulling me back into my little comfort zone and allow "i just dont feel it" to be my excuse.

**** it, i'll just go with my own flow.
Thanks for a healthy dose of reality guys.
 
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