"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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I just screwed up guys.

Klippymitch

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So I havent talk to this girl in like a year but I thought Id give it a go again. So I text messaged her whats up. and she says WHats up and seems kinda excited. Then I asked her to go see a movie with me sometime this weekend. and she says she would but she's busy with work and cant. So I respond "So when do you want to do this?" She says "whenever I can I live in ******* now." I tell her no big deal I can drive and That I didnt know her schedule and to pick a day"

Maybe that's where I ****ed up.

Becuase she never responded back with another text. So I was like **** it Ill send her another text about something offtopic. and she hasnt responded to that either. Now Im screwed becuase I beleive it's too late to call her now becuase Ill look needy and I cant text message her anymore because Ill look needy. Damn I should of just called her up after she said "whenever she can" so I could of had more leverage in the situation. But now I think I dug myself into a hole.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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It's ok, you attempted and she knows your interest - the ball is in her court! You did your job as a man!!

Do not contact her Unless she contacts you first!!
 

Klippymitch

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After reading this it kinda sounds like she doesnt want to go out with me at all. But she is a shy girl and hopefully that's the case.
 

Obsidian

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nah, she doesn't want to go out with you.

You didn't really screw up, tho. Asking when someone is available to do something shows a little more interest than is usually ideal, but I wouldn't call it a *bad* move. it just didn't work out this time.

the third, unrelated msg was a little wussy, but w/e. DON'T contact her again unless she contacts you first (and maybe not even then).

Also, maybe read up on "Ganji games" at
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=21610
 

Klippymitch

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Obsidian said:
nah, she doesn't want to go out with you.

You didn't really screw up, tho. Asking when someone is available to do something shows a little more interest than is usually ideal, but I wouldn't call it a *bad* move. it just didn't work out this time.

the third, unrelated msg was a little wussy, but w/e. DON'T contact her again unless she contacts you first (and maybe not even then).

Also, maybe read up on "Ganji games" at
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=21610
Okay we now know she doesnt want to go out with me.
But I wish I knew the reason why.

Like was she too shy and was intimidated by the idea of having to go on a date.

or

Was she just not interested in me.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Obsidian

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Probably the first is my guess, but it doesn't really matter. Maybe a little of both, or maybe you did something stupid.

Something similar happened to me after I took a girl out to dinner a few weeks ago. She had acted real interested in me prior (hence my asking her out), and I thought the date went well. But I never was able to set up anything afterward.

If you completely ignore/avoid her (but still smile and act friendly if you coincidentally come across her), it's possible she'll realize her mistake and come onto you strong again. *If* she ever throws herself at you at that point, then you can decide whether or not you want to hang around with her flakey @ss.

but the best move for now is to move on and keep working on self-improvement
 

nonchalant

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once they have made up their mind about you, it is almost impossible to change it
 

Obsidian

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bah, that's not really true, I don't think. Women are about as resolved and unchanging as the moon.
 

nonchalant

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well you're wrong
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Klippymitch

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Call_Me_Daddy said:
Is she black?
No she's white and Im not sure where you were going with that one. Explanation please?

Okay guys today she text messaged me "Whats up?". I never responded back and Im thinking by doing this she might freak a little thinking she might lose me and actually set up a day I can take her out. Or she might just send me another "whats up" message sometime later. Or she might try and play the game by waiting for me to respond to her before she responds back. Oh well Im not responding quite yet Im going to wait and see how this unfolds.
 

ryannath

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When she sent the what's up text, you could have said, "Not too much babe. Come over and entertain me", and she what she said to that. She will get the hint that you want sex, and if she wants it with you, she will have it with you. Why make things so complicated by ignoring her? I just don't get it.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Klippymitch

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ryannath said:
When she sent the what's up text, you could have said, "Not too much babe. Come over and entertain me", and she what she said to that. She will get the hint that you want sex, and if she wants it with you, she will have it with you. Why make things so complicated by ignoring her? I just don't get it.
Do you think that would of worked? She wouldnt agree to go out on an arranged date so why would she meet up with me on the same day. Anyways it was 8:40pm when she sent the message and I didnt even see it until 10:20pm. And plus she wanted to talk to me showing to me that there's interest. She'll want me even more now because people want what they cant have. At least in theory right?

Edit: Thanks for the tip though I think I'll use it one of these days.
 

Obsidian

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you're best off ignoring her until/unless she tries coming onto you a little stronger, imo. Texting you to say "what's up" is nothing. It's just a stupid chick trick. Girls don't really think about this stuff before they do it.

If she's gonna f*cking ignore you, then why should you make any effort to contact her?

Think about it.
 

Scorched

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Do not ask a girl out over text! Ask her over the phone if not in person. Make it sound like less of a date and more of a lets just hang out. For example,
"Maybe we can go hang out one day, grab something to eat real quick..."

Get to know a girl's schedule before you ask her out!
For example,
"What'cha do today? oh work?... where do you work? thats cool, part time or full time? oh when... sound like fun..." At the same time telling her about your job, etc, making your life sound like the ****... etc...

Do not ask a girl out to the movies! You want to talk to her and get to know her. Get her alone in public while making her laugh her ass off. Earning her trust... Showing little interest and slight eye contact... etc...

Good luck..
 

HBK

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Look is very simple, a girl either likes you or she doesnt. I had oneitis a while back, ever so often i would text out of the blue just 2 say hi...do you know what it got me NOTHING! Half the time i would get on here and write some post, "why didnt get back 2 me?????".. and get depressed.

Forget about her, i know you might think there is something there, maybe there is i dont know. But from experience just move on.

Forget about her, if she cared about you she would let you know. You know why???? Because there is a girl i know who keeps textin me out of the blue, every so often asking how i am etc, and she has a BF and is in "love"

However i was the first guy she was ever with, so she always me in high regard as we never fell out,i dont really care about her though. But i know in the morning if i wanted it enough i could call her and meet up. Thats the strength and power thats in my favour, not yours. The girl you fancy has it, and no amount of calling will do anything unless shes interested. Attraction isnt a choice.
Move on.
 

Klippymitch

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HBK said:
Look is very simple, a girl either likes you or she doesnt. I had oneitis a while back, ever so often i would text out of the blue just 2 say hi...do you know what it got me NOTHING! Half the time i would get on here and write some post, "why didnt get back 2 me?????".. and get depressed.

Forget about her, i know you might think there is something there, maybe there is i dont know. But from experience just move on.

Forget about her, if she cared about you she would let you know. You know why???? Because there is a girl i know who keeps textin me out of the blue, every so often asking how i am etc, and she has a BF and is in "love"

However i was the first guy she was ever with, so she always me in high regard as we never fell out,i dont really care about her though. But i know in the morning if i wanted it enough i could call her and meet up. Thats the strength and power thats in my favour, not yours. The girl you fancy has it, and no amount of calling will do anything unless shes interested. Attraction isnt a choice.
Move on.
Thanks foir the advice.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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