"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I just realized I'm super competitive

Desert Fox

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Came as a surprise to me...I usually underachieve until the LAST MOMENT and then I'm always really clutch and pull it off.

Makes me wonder how I could accomplish so much more if I just was clutch...ALL THE TIME. You know what I mean?

But I've been looking for a trigger for a long time and I think I found it: competition!

Or better yet...pressure. I guess I am one of those people that when put under pressure just owns the competition.

So my question for you guys is how should I trigger my competitive trigger? I want to keep my self-esteem at a reasonable level so self-deprecation can only go so far to keep me motivated. Maybe I should find a few idols or models to look up to? :)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Da Realist

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"I just realized I'm super competitive"

No you're not! I am!

Ok, but for real, you have a balance issue. At first you don't care or try, and then you decide to move on something at the last minute. The trick is to forget about winning/losing or passing/failing and just be determined to see what you're doing through to the end. Think about a farmer: he throws seeds out knowing some will grow and others won't for whatever reason. He gets up every morning and tends to his crops for the whole growing season till he harvests whatever he has at the end. It's a slow process, but at the end he gets something in return.
 

SeanyB

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Hahaha I thought that was just me lol I'm like that in college - not pay too much attention then get As and Bs in the big tests :)
 

Desert Fox

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Da Realist said:
"I just realized I'm super competitive"

No you're not! I am!

Ok, but for real, you have a balance issue. At first you don't care or try, and then you decide to move on something at the last minute. The trick is to forget about winning/losing or passing/failing and just be determined to see what you're doing through to the end. Think about a farmer: he throws seeds out knowing some will grow and others won't for whatever reason. He gets up every morning and tends to his crops for the whole growing season till he harvests whatever he has at the end. It's a slow process, but at the end he gets something in return.
Solid stuff bro. I will try to adopt this mindset.

The context is school (college), work, relationships, etc. EVERYTHING
 

strong like bull

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what you need to be doing is developing that competitive nature. a few recommendations do develop your abilities:

sports, for competitive teamplay. also physical exercise. pickup basketball games at a local gym/park, would be good.

internally focused physical activities, like hiking/mountain climbing, weight-lifting, etc.

developing your career/business. lets face it, the most driven businessman is usually the most successful. it just pays well to be focused.


being driven is one of the single most important traits a man could have. its ok to be competitive against others, but even greater to be competitive against yourself.

-SLB
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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