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I just left my family

Exil

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That sounds rather blue-pill. In fact the logic of your whole thread, when it comes to providing sounds blue-pill, yet you know about game. What it sounds like you hit the right attraction buttons and applied the red-pill with her, and this would work really well, especially 10 years ago when that stuff was still popular. But at the core, you didn't change on the inside, or deal with the inner-game issues, and that's the problem, even in Neil Strauss book, "The Game". You begin to lose the girl because you put on an act that's not really you, and you are really a provider/blue-pill at the core, and then the girl loses attraction to you over time.



No guy, unless you are like a Chad and are rich (not middle-class rich, is really going to have a higher-value than a woman, so there is always a potential for any woman to eventually want to trade-up unless she has strong religious values and intends to honour the marriage. Remember, a woman just has to show up and she is assigned a very high value because there are lots of thirsty guys after her already that are inflating her ego and can get a "grass is greener on the other side" conflict. That is why I feel that any issue with this woman will simply be transferred to another woman unless you deal with the "inner game" issues.




Just be honest with yourself and expectations. You are with her because she is hot. It's not easy to replace a hot girl like that so its easier to work it out with her then to find another loyal hb8/9. Even hb5-6 are hyper-inflated.
I got with her initially because she's hot. I stayed with her for years because she's hot but also yeah, love her. I do love her and I love my kids and maybe you're right and we could work this out but right now I'm not in the right frame of mind to fix anything with her and neither is she. I didn't leave on particularly bad terms.

Before I met her I was probably more red pill in terms of game and approach but yeah, I've been beta for a long time in the relationship. A lot of what I've done previously is blue pill 100% and I only read Rollo's book after this all happened, looking for answers and I'm still very early on in my red pill education. I haven't accepted a lot of it yet, I'm aware of it and am trying to explain where I was and where I'm trying to get to with my posts but not that I'm 100% red pill now because I'm not there yet. Maybe I'm not capable of ever becoming fully red pill and maybe I'm destined for a life of purple ideals.

I just want a happy, easy life where I can just be myself without having to worry about all the craziness of women. Maybe MGTOW or a monk is more the path I'm gonna end up on lol
 

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RickTheToad

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Of course I did and I would have took them with me if I could but I can't. I couldn't work and provide for my kids as a single dad, it just wouldn't work. I didn't want to leave my kids and is a lot of the reason I've stayed so long.
If you made the conscious decision to create offspring, it is your responibility to take care of them. You do not have to live with their mother, but you do need to take care of them. F uck the law aspect, it's the self-respect aspect. There are jobs out there, find one or three and make s hit right.
 

Exil

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If you made the conscious decision to create offspring, it is your responibility to take care of them. You do not have to live with their mother, but you do need to take care of them. F uck the law aspect, it's the self-respect aspect. There are jobs out there, find one or three and make s hit right.
I haven't abandoned my children. I'm still going to be very much a part of their lives, regardless of what happens with me and their mother. I know what you're saying and I'd agree wholeheartedly if it were the case but I'm not abandoning them. I'm simply creating a bit of distance right now between myself and their mother so I can think clearly about my next move and how I'm going to do it.
 

Shrubber101

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Advice please gents. I've just left my now-ex of 10 years and two daughters and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it. She "emotionally" cheated in February and we've been living separately inside our house during lockdown but I've finally had enough of her moodiness, sh1t tests and walked out the door today.

I feel awful for my kids, they've done nothing wrong but I couldn't stay in that environment any longer. Am I a b@stard for leaving my kids? I can't stay with someone who is like that and it's not the first time she's done sh1t like this either. I've left before and always end up going back until the next time. I've had several affairs also but I'm just better at not getting caught than she is.

Lat year we got back together after a 5 month separation and I had about 15 girls I was talking to and sleeping with 4 on rotation (the hottest of the group) but I just cut them all loose when we got back together. I know that's probably where I went wrong but I do what I want when I'm single and was happy to give it up at the time, which to be honest, drove her crazy that all these girls kept messaging me months after we'd got back together.

If I'm honest, I didn't treat her well by the end. I do the stuff I'm supposed to do, bills etc but I'm very rarely romantic. I don't put in the effort to keep her attraction high because to be completely honest, I'm so tired when I get in from working that I haven't got the energy to "make her feel special and wanted". I work hard, I do a lot around the house but it's never appreciated.

Would you have left in my position or have I made a huge mistake?
You're only a bastard if you've abandoned your kids. I hope. You've just left your wife and still plan to see your kids. If you have then you'll be a better father to them cos youll have better quality time with them away from the toxic environment.
 

Exil

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You're only a bastard if you've abandoned your kids. I hope. You've just left your wife and still plan to see your kids. If you have then you'll be a better father to them cos youll have better quality time with them away from the toxic environment.
I would never abandon them, none of this is their fault and I couldn't stand the thought of not having them in my life.
 
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GT40

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If it’s not working out then it’s best to call it. But don’t get involved with another woman right away. It looks bad and raises doubt about your character in front of a judge when deciding support and alimony.
 

glass half full

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I can see that being brutal in a marriage
It is...then at about the same time, you decide you no longer care, nor need to, and you emotionally check out of the relationship. The fun part is waiting for, then getting, the opportunity to drop the bomb Lol...revenge can be fun for men too.
 

Exil

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Update: we've been talking and she asked me to go home the first week I was gone. I said I needed more time to think and we didn't discuss much further. I went home last night and she wasn't exactly excited to see me and isn't sure she wants to work on the relationship anymore. Now I'm kind of stuck as I won't be able to go anywhere else anytime soon with the lockdown still in effect. My friend I was staying with can't have me there indefinitely either so at the moment I'm in the spare bedroom sleeping on a blow up bed. Any tips on how to smooth this over with her? It was a mistake to leave and whilst I needed the time to think clearly, it seems to have backfired... Karma.
 
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mrgoodstuff

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Update: we've been talking and she asked me to go home the first week I was gone. I said I needed more time to think and we didn't discuss much further. I went home last night and she wasn't exactly excited to see me and isn't sure she wants to work on the relationship anymore. Now I'm kind of stuck as I won't be able to go anywhere else anytime soon with the lockdown still in effect. My friend I was staying with can't have me there indefinitely either so at the moment I'm in the spare bedroom sleeping on a blow up bed. Any tips on how to smooth this over with her? It was a mistake to leave and whilst I needed the time to think clearly, it seems to have backfired... Karma.
I thought she cheated? Now how did she get control?
 
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Advice please gents. I've just left my now-ex of 10 years and two daughters and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it. She "emotionally" cheated in February and we've been living separately inside our house during lockdown but I've finally had enough of her moodiness, sh1t tests and walked out the door today.

I feel awful for my kids, they've done nothing wrong but I couldn't stay in that environment any longer. Am I a b@stard for leaving my kids? I can't stay with someone who is like that and it's not the first time she's done sh1t like this either. I've left before and always end up going back until the next time. I've had several affairs also but I'm just better at not getting caught than she is.

Lat year we got back together after a 5 month separation and I had about 15 girls I was talking to and sleeping with 4 on rotation (the hottest of the group) but I just cut them all loose when we got back together. I know that's probably where I went wrong but I do what I want when I'm single and was happy to give it up at the time, which to be honest, drove her crazy that all these girls kept messaging me months after we'd got back together.

If I'm honest, I didn't treat her well by the end. I do the stuff I'm supposed to do, bills etc but I'm very rarely romantic. I don't put in the effort to keep her attraction high because to be completely honest, I'm so tired when I get in from working that I haven't got the energy to "make her feel special and wanted". I work hard, I do a lot around the house but it's never appreciated.

Would you have left in my position or have I made a huge mistake?

1) Breath, stay calm, you'll get through this.

2) Although I entirely understand what you mean by "emotional cheating" you need to be careful in divorce proceedings to stick to the facts rather than get caught up in a flurry of emotion.

3) You did nothing wrong by taking care of your needs. Your kids will grow up and if you play it right you can end up with a better relationship with them in the long term.

4) Don't worry about your ''rotation'' for now. If you plan on divorcing for good that should take the bulk of your energy.

4.1) also it's unclear from your message. Are you married, seperated, or what? It makes a huge difference to your strategy. If you were never formally married your in much clearer waters.

5) assuming this is a formal divorce. DO NOT make the same mistakes as my peers have. Find the best divorce lawyer you can. it WILL BE expensive but cheaping out is more expensive in the long term.

6) Build a good seperate relationship with your kids over time. my parents divorced when i was 16. it was rough for a few years but I have a great relationship with both of them seperately.

Good luck.
 

lamath

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Update: we've been talking and she asked me to go home the first week I was gone. I said I needed more time to think and we didn't discuss much further. I went home last night and she wasn't exactly excited to see me and isn't sure she wants to work on the relationship anymore. Now I'm kind of stuck as I won't be able to go anywhere else anytime soon with the lockdown still in effect. My friend I was staying with can't have me there indefinitely either so at the moment I'm in the spare bedroom sleeping on a blow up bed. Any tips on how to smooth this over with her? It was a mistake to leave and whilst I needed the time to think clearly, it seems to have backfired... Karma.
You know what happened there right?

You leaving her made her become very insecure and without control about facing things alone, then when you got back home that security and her sence of control came back and the bad feeling she had disappeared so back to ***** mode.

Now she thinks you leaving was just an act, need to get her back to that insecure state.
She will do this every time she feels like you are pulling away, dont let her keep you on a leash or has back up.

Good luck
 
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