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I just got married and think I made a mistake...

marknu

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Hi brothers. YOUR opinion will be much appreciated.

I recently got married. Like 4 months ago. Knowing each other only roughly for a year. Being red pill aware. For about last 2 years (man I had really fun times with different women, while traveling mainly, and living abroad). Yeah, I know. We both are from different cultures and countries. We met while both living abroad for awhile. (She's from South America, Im from Eastern Europe). But, we are planning to move to Canada in a year or two.

(The good thing though is that I DO NOT have any assets to loose, neither has she). I am broke at the moment. (Because of lockdowns and my choice to returning to studying full time). The idea is to build everything together from scratch..

This might be a bit odd to share it with this community, but most of the guys in my circle are either heavily blue pilled or rather few PUA's with "fuk everything that moves" mentality, so I have nobody really to ask for a genuine opinion.

The main reason why I got married, was because I always wanted to have kids, and a happy family of my own, to teach them those things my parents and grandparents didnt thought me, to raise them as great human beings, to let them achieve their dreams, and help others, like I have done most of my life. But lately, with all this bs that is now happening around the world, I have so many doubts if I actually want to bring my own children to this fckd up world. Also being red pill aware, I dont believe in a fairy tale, and happily ever after. Although my wife has most of the qualities I see in a mother of my kids, which I never saw in any other woman I was dating with.

Being red pill aware, I can not fully believe that she will never ever cheat on me. Although we had some very though discussions about this and me making her cry, she promising me that she would never do anything like that to me. Is that even possible ? I mean, I make her cry and laugh in bed and give a lot of pleasure and orgasms. I have a good package and she desires it. Im quite good looking, strong, with a solid sports history, but rather skinny/fit, have no big muscles (which I would still like to work on and achieve my genetical potential). Although she says she likes my body, I would not like her to see some big alphas to trying to get in her panties, and her being vulnerable falling for that, just because she could not see it in me.

My biggest problem is that I haven't achieved my potential, and at the moment am quite broke. She is doing a bit better, and willing to help me financially while I finish my studies (I returned to those after many years), and keep working and progressing professionally herself. It scares the **** out of me to being aware that Im kind of loosing my freedom, and starting to build something new when I haven't really fixed myself, and so should she. It will take me some years to get back stability financial wise, and to be ready to even start planning the kids. I am 33 and she is 31. I still have time, but does she?!

I have sacrificed myself moving to a different country at this moment, and quitting my job just to finish my studies, for both of us, not only myself. Its not like I am filthy rich and she has got the winner at the finish line. She has chosen to stick with me and build everything together, from zero. Which is surprising, and not usual at all. We are both good people, that I know. But it would hurt me so bad if she would loose the patience along the way. Or even worse change her mind in 10-15 years with 2 kids, under our belt, just because of something related to female nature and thinking along the journey.

What are your thoughts? Am I making my life more difficult as always, or I might have won the lottery of 2% ?

Another quote that hit me hard yesterday (although I haven't yet become the king I would like to be, but:
"What's the point of becoming a king, if you don't raise a prince who will take the throne after you die ?"
 

BackInTheGame78

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The world always has been and always will be "fvcked up". People weren't as aware of it as they are now due to lack of media. You think the world is screwed up now?

How would you have liked to live back in the 1500s in villages where one night you go to bed and your village is raided by a neighboring tribe and everyone is killed?

I don't buy these silly ideas that the world is somehow more fvcked up now. It always has been and always will be. You do the best you can under the circumstances. That's life. It's silly to think you should or shouldn't have kids due to this.
 

metalwater

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well written and clear how you tell. also sounds very normal, could probably take what you write and it would also fit many other men.

as your red pill aware; you know that anything she tells is only how she feels in that moment. unlike you as a man; you can/will make decisions and follow/lead or work to achieve those regardless of how the feeling is in the moment. she can not do that, she will follow her feelings and create logic that matches with what she feels.

- make sure to prioritize your own growth, financial, physical, and some sort of philosophy above your desire to be one with her. Allow her to be with you but always keep one eye looking at your own growth. It's like running with a child up a mountain. you hold their hand and make sure they do not fall as you pull them along, but at the same time, you watching the path and making it safe.

- don't encourage or even permit a mixed social circle unless you are already the top guy in it. her friends ideally are the wives of your friends, and or family. her spending time with several single or married.. girls that are watching and getting attention from some guy that is their friend is a death sentence for your situation, especially if you're wanting to be clean and not cheat yourself. the social herd will have more influence on her than you do if you allow it. This is one of those.. husband knows the best situations. stand your ground.

- make sure to arrange for at least 30 minutes every day of conversation about her topics; with you. don't try to fix her problems or complaints just listen to how she feels about what she is telling.

- as long as you are making constant progress towards your potential it should go well for you.

- when the kids come, remember to still keep your own growth as a priority. the only difference is that now you are pulling more ppl up the mountain.

- as a red pill man, make sure your aware of her menstrual cycle and pay attention to her actions vs that. always.

you have a good chance by being aware.
 
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marknu

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Few things to add the spice though:
1. she has tattoos (not some scary ones, but still quite a few, mainly to honour parents or friendship, artsy),
2. she grew up without a father, as sadly he was killed when she was 5 years old. However, her mother is a great women, and raised 4 kids pretty much all by herself.

Her married women role models though, I would say, are two closest cousins - one is married with a foreigner for 17 years, and another married with a foreigner for about 10 years.
 

Sir FB

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When I met my ex wife, I had a bankruptcy, an old pickup and an idea that I could start my own business. We used her waitress tax return to get a FHA loan on a cheap house. Neither one of us had any assets at all. We made a good team, she went to school and got a teaching degree, I grew my business, we bought, renovated and sold real estate. She got her masters. I supported her, she supported me and we thrived. When we divorced 18 years later with two kids, we split over $1mil in assets. Our incomes were similar so no alimony, and child support was reasonable for me.

Starting out with nothing is a great place to be because there’s great possibilities to build something great together and you’ve got nothing to lose if it doesn’t work out. At least that’s the way it was for me.
 

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marknu

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well written and clear how you tell. also sounds very normal, could probably take what you write and it would also fit many other men.

as your red pill aware; you know that anything she tells is only how she feels in that moment. unlike you as a man; you can/will make decisions and follow/lead or work to achieve those regardless of how the feeling is in the moment. she can not do that, she will follow her feelings and create logic that matches with what she feels.

- make sure to prioritize your own growth, financial, physical, and some sort of philosophy above your desire to be one with her. Allow her to be with you but always keep one eye looking at your own growth. It's like running with a child up a mountain. you hold their hand and make sure they do not fall as you pull them along, but at the same time, you watching the path and making it safe.

- don't encourage or even permit a mixed social circle unless you are already the top guy in it. her friends ideally are the wives of your friends, and or family. her spending time with several single or married.. girls that are watching and getting attention from some guy that is their friend is a death sentence for your situation, especially if you're wanting to be clean and not cheat yourself. the social herd will have more influence on her than you do if you allow it. This is one of those.. husband knows the best situations. stand your ground.

- make sure to arrange for at least 30 minutes every day of conversation about her topics; with you. don't try to fix her problems or complaints just listen to how she feels about what she is telling.

- as long as you are making constant progress towards your potential it should go well for you.

- when the kids come, remember to still keep your own growth as a priority. the only difference is that now you are pulling more ppl up the mountain.

- as a red pill man, make sure your aware of her menstrual cycle and pay attention to her actions vs that. always.

you have a good chance by being aware.
Many thanks for your reply and opinion!

I am kind of aware of that she loves how I make her feel, and loves the opportunity she could have sticking with me, for a better life, and feeling safe around me, and me taking care of her and family, being a good person. She also says that she believes in me and my potential. At the moment she is more educated than me with several degrees, maybe only a bit lost confidence during last year.

"- don't encourage or even permit a mixed social circle unless you are already the top guy in it. her friends ideally are the wives of your friends, and or family. her spending time with several single or married.. girls that are watching and getting attention from some guy that is their friend is a death sentence for your situation, especially if you're wanting to be clean and not cheat yourself. the social herd will have more influence on her than you do if you allow it. This is one of those.. husband knows the best situations. stand your ground."

Hmm. Can you explain a bit more what you meant by that ? Like she would see what all the other ladies are trying to do, and also would like to taste some other candies ?


"- as a red pill man, make sure your aware of her menstrual cycle and pay attention to her actions vs that. always."

I have started to write down her start/finish dates, and trying to understand her behaviour during that.
 

metalwater

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"- don't encourage or even permit a mixed social circle unless you are already the top guy in it. her friends ideally are the wives of your friends, and or family. her spending time with several single or married.. girls that are watching and getting attention from some guy that is their friend is a death sentence for your situation, especially if you're wanting to be clean and not cheat yourself. the social herd will have more influence on her than you do if you allow it. This is one of those.. husband knows the best situations. stand your ground."

Hmm. Can you explain a bit more what you meant by that ? Like she would see what all the other ladies are trying to do, and also would like to taste some other candies ?
yes. she is a woman, women all share some core behaviors and triggers. they are also all competitive with each other.

at a minimum, some of her attention and possibly interest goes to the other guy, perhaps just small. the other guy who usually understands will feed her some attention in front of the other women. those women will in turn elevate her status in that group because the guy they are watching is giving some attention to her. now she is validated by him and them. this drug is super powerful, there is no defense against it except to avoid OR explain to the guy in some way that he understands that it will not be allowed. the only sure mechanism is to avoid(protect her). By paying attention to her cycle you can quickly see if some issue is occurring. The best/simple way is to just not allow your lamb into the lion's den. this will happen to all women that are attractive enough. It does not mean she is bad, it means that she is a woman and will behave like one.

opinions will vary on this, of course, we will have some men that are working hard to be the lion so will tell that it's not like that.
 

Lookatu

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The way you explain things, it sounds like you have a lot of insecurities. You need to first overcome those before you can think positively.

Be the best father, lover, husband you can be and you don't have to worry about her cheating. It's when you fail as being one of those do you have to worry about that, but that is under your control. Only be concerned about what's in your control and as long as you hold that part of it up, the rest will fall into place.

As a reminder, marriage is TEAM work. She is on your team to help you through thick and thin just like you should for her. She knows you are going through school to make a better life for both of you. As long as you continue that and she see's it, her job is to support you until you do. My wife met me when I was unemployed and we've been together for over 18 years.

Just remember that you are the head and she should be the shoulders that support it. This is the only way it will work. So how do you be the head all the time? Providing leadership, understanding, listening, nurturing, support, safety, stability, resources, value, intimacy, wisdom. Once you fail in one or more of those categories, you open the door for other possibilities to occur.
 

RickTheToad

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@marknu, you need to think at what you want at and in life. No reason to waste this female's time if you're having second thoughts now. She's at the age of popping out kids, are you? If not, don't waste her ability to have children; if that's what she wants. If you want to buy time with her, you can see if she'll freeze her eggs. However, it's not cheap.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Hi brothers. YOUR opinion will be much appreciated.

I recently got married. Like 4 months ago. Knowing each other only roughly for a year. Being red pill aware. For about last 2 years (man I had really fun times with different women, while traveling mainly, and living abroad). Yeah, I know. We both are from different cultures and countries. We met while both living abroad for awhile. (She's from South America, Im from Eastern Europe). But, we are planning to move to Canada in a year or two.

(The good thing though is that I DO NOT have any assets to loose, neither has she). I am broke at the moment. (Because of lockdowns and my choice to returning to studying full time). The idea is to build everything together from scratch..

This might be a bit odd to share it with this community, but most of the guys in my circle are either heavily blue pilled or rather few PUA's with "fuk everything that moves" mentality, so I have nobody really to ask for a genuine opinion.

The main reason why I got married, was because I always wanted to have kids, and a happy family of my own, to teach them those things my parents and grandparents didnt thought me, to raise them as great human beings, to let them achieve their dreams, and help others, like I have done most of my life. But lately, with all this bs that is now happening around the world, I have so many doubts if I actually want to bring my own children to this fckd up world. Also being red pill aware, I dont believe in a fairy tale, and happily ever after. Although my wife has most of the qualities I see in a mother of my kids, which I never saw in any other woman I was dating with.

Being red pill aware, I can not fully believe that she will never ever cheat on me. Although we had some very though discussions about this and me making her cry, she promising me that she would never do anything like that to me. Is that even possible ? I mean, I make her cry and laugh in bed and give a lot of pleasure and orgasms. I have a good package and she desires it. Im quite good looking, strong, with a solid sports history, but rather skinny/fit, have no big muscles (which I would still like to work on and achieve my genetical potential). Although she says she likes my body, I would not like her to see some big alphas to trying to get in her panties, and her being vulnerable falling for that, just because she could not see it in me.

My biggest problem is that I haven't achieved my potential, and at the moment am quite broke. She is doing a bit better, and willing to help me financially while I finish my studies (I returned to those after many years), and keep working and progressing professionally herself. It scares the **** out of me to being aware that Im kind of loosing my freedom, and starting to build something new when I haven't really fixed myself, and so should she. It will take me some years to get back stability financial wise, and to be ready to even start planning the kids. I am 33 and she is 31. I still have time, but does she?!

I have sacrificed myself moving to a different country at this moment, and quitting my job just to finish my studies, for both of us, not only myself. Its not like I am filthy rich and she has got the winner at the finish line. She has chosen to stick with me and build everything together, from zero. Which is surprising, and not usual at all. We are both good people, that I know. But it would hurt me so bad if she would loose the patience along the way. Or even worse change her mind in 10-15 years with 2 kids, under our belt, just because of something related to female nature and thinking along the journey.

What are your thoughts? Am I making my life more difficult as always, or I might have won the lottery of 2% ?

Another quote that hit me hard yesterday (although I haven't yet become the king I would like to be, but:
"What's the point of becoming a king, if you don't raise a prince who will take the throne after you die ?"
Red pill aware. Marries her in under a year.



I swear. I hear red pill and I see Geek married guy who can't pull but has a theory. Insert YouTube channel rant on hypergamy and old women off the carousel who they marry.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

She is with you. She chose you.

As stated by @Lookatu above you are insecure about things. Your insecurity is feeding fear, especially fear of loss of some variety at some unknown point in the future. Your fear (that you are feeding) will rob you of joy and will manifest itself if YOU do not get a grip.

Release your fear. Cherish your wife who has chosen you. Embrace the journey. One eye on today, one eye looking forward.

Be a lover first, a partner/friend second, a parent 3rd. Lead her & grow yourself as a man.

You can do it. Cheers
 

marknu

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The world always has been and always will be "fvcked up". People weren't as aware of it as they are now due to lack of media. You think the world is screwed up now?

How would you have liked to live back in the 1500s in villages where one night you go to bed and your village is raided by a neighboring tribe and everyone is killed?

I don't buy these silly ideas that the world is somehow more fvcked up now. It always has been and always will be. You do the best you can under the circumstances. That's life. It's silly to think you should or shouldn't have kids due to this.
I never said that the world is somehow more fd up now than it has ever been before. But thanks for your comment.
 

marknu

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When I met my ex wife, I had a bankruptcy, an old pickup and an idea that I could start my own business. We used her waitress tax return to get a FHA loan on a cheap house. Neither one of us had any assets at all. We made a good team, she went to school and got a teaching degree, I grew my business, we bought, renovated and sold real estate. She got her masters. I supported her, she supported me and we thrived. When we divorced 18 years later with two kids, we split over $1mil in assets. Our incomes were similar so no alimony, and child support was reasonable for me.

Starting out with nothing is a great place to be because there’s great possibilities to build something great together and you’ve got nothing to lose if it doesn’t work out. At least that’s the way it was for me.
Thank you for your advice, sir. Glad to hear that you managed to change your life to the best, while building a team with a women you loved. And hope you are enjoying your life now and teach your son how to become the best version of himself.
 

marknu

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@marknu, you need to think at what you want at and in life. No reason to waste this female's time if you're having second thoughts now. She's at the age of popping out kids, are you? If not, don't waste her ability to have children; if that's what she wants. If you want to buy time with her, you can see if she'll freeze her eggs. However, it's not cheap.
I absolutely am aware of the situation and have questioned her now multiple times if she is understanding our situation, and me being able to stabilise financially after few years. I am not pushing her to wait, it is her choice.
 

marknu

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Red pill aware. Marries her in under a year.



I swear. I hear red pill and I see Geek married guy who can't pull but has a theory. Insert YouTube channel rant on hypergamy and old women off the carousel who they marry.
Red pill aware. Marries her in under a year.



I swear. I hear red pill and I see Geek married guy who can't pull but has a theory. Insert YouTube channel rant on hypergamy and old women off the carousel who they marry.
I asked for advice, not an insult.
If you don't have anything wise to say, then rather keep your childish funny gif entertainment in every comment to yourself.
You seem like the kid who always got bullied and now feels so brave on internet forums, thinking he knows everything. Or maybe a big trauma when someone broke your heart, and the only reason you feel so powerful nowadays is pump and dump with any female who are so generous to even spreads their legs for you.
Super geek. Started to have an interest in girls when others were still playing with lego. Played hockey, and practised boxing.
Have a great life einstein!
 

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BackInTheGame78

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I never said that the world is somehow more fd up now than it has ever been before. But thanks for your comment.
No but the comment about not having kids because of how fvcked up the world is alluded to that...as if you were alive in some other time you would be OK with it.
 

TheCharmingGuy

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Not having kids is perfectly fine in todays world. In fact you will be helping with overpopulation and a bunch of other problems with having kids. Also, kids are expensive, whiny, and especially in their teens, just a lot to deal with. Unless your wife is set on having kids, don’t have kids unless you are fully committed. It wouldn’t be fair to them or you to have a father that doesn’t care as much as he should
 

corrector

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Why do you think she chose to be with you even though you are broke? Were you independent and broke or did you live with your folks? Is she like a sugar mamma? How hot does she look like? Is she an hb7 or higher. If so then congratulations you won a lottery. Why are you asking for advice? We should be asking you for advice. How did you meet her?
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I asked for advice, not an insult.
If you don't have anything wise to say, then rather keep your childish funny gif entertainment in every comment to yourself.
You seem like the kid who always got bullied and now feels so brave on internet forums, thinking he knows everything. Or maybe a big trauma when someone broke your heart, and the only reason you feel so powerful nowadays is pump and dump with any female who are so generous to even spreads their legs for you.
Super geek. Started to have an interest in girls when others were still playing with lego. Played hockey, and practised boxing.
Have a great life einstein!
But your red pill. Bends knee. Marries her after meeting.



I've seen a compilation of red pill wives. Not a good time lulz!
 
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