"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I hit my girlfriend today and broke her nose. Help me!

iCatch

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I hit my girlfriend today.. wow I feel like such ****. I guess im gonna get picked up by the cops tomorrow, so I figured I would tell you guys what happend.

We were having an argument and she went too far. She made a comment along the lines of "your loser father couldn't keep a relationship together and you can't either!". When I was around 11, my parents got divorced and fought for custody. My dad wanted me and my brother because he genuinely loved us. My mom wanted us just to spite my dad. She won, and my dad kinda lost it over the decades.

This was too far for me. I had never, EVER hit a girl before, but it happened so fast I didn't even know I did it.

Basically, I ****ed my fist back, and flew it straight into her nose. I thought it would be like the movies where she would get a little trickle of blood. It wasn't. Her nose EXPLODED. I think I must of broken a bunch of cartilege or something because blood shot out of both her nostrils, got all over me, got all over the floor.

She staggered backwards, hit her head hard enough on the wall to leave a dent, and slumped down.

We were both stunned for about 10 seconds before she started crying hysterically and ran into my room and locked the door. So I went to wash my hands, and while I was in the bathroom I heard her run out of the house and take off in her car. That was about 5 hours ago so I guess she didn't go the cops or anything. So later I went home and broke down in tears..

My mom came in the room and when she heard about the story she got scared and said your moving with your auntie and uncle in bel air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare
but I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you later! Looked at my kingdom I was finally there to settle my throne as the prince of bel-air!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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syemour

Senior Don Juan
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hahaaha wow omg wtf ftw bbq?

Well played Sir.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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DJVladdy

Master Don Juan
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Ima tell you like my friend told me: never punch women. Use open palm if you have to.

By the way: true story?
 

iCatch

Don Juan
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DJVladdy said:
Ima tell you like my friend told me: never punch women. Use open palm if you have to.

By the way: true story?
lol read the last paragraph
 

Ken785

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2004
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California
stupid...that jokes been done before on here...and done way better i might add.
 

Desert Fox

Master Don Juan
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AHAHAH I'M LOVIN IT MAN UR THE MANA HAAHAHAHAHAHAH

i gotta rep u for this :)
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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drtk

Don Juan
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HolyG said:
did SoSuave just get Bel-Aired????!?!?!?!
OMFG,aparently so. I hate you Icatch. :cuss:
 

CP3WOO

Don Juan
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Bel-Aired FTMFW!

HAHAHAHAHAHA Good jop Icatch, way to keep humor on this board
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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verysuave

Banned
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Oct 3, 2006
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omg, now she's gona wana hump u. U are a jerk, alpahman taking in charge. This his how bad boys do it. Damn, she totally has the hots for you now
 

thefonz

Master Don Juan
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Oct 14, 2004
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hahahaha...you just made my day.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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