Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
I heard that women don't like real muscular guys
- Thread starter DrD77
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Giving a straight answer to what women like and dont like is not easy. I wont lie. Some women will get turned off by you getting bigger, some will even be mean and call you bad stuff. But from my experience it's usually the ones who look ugly or plain. The better looking women have responded to me alot better being friendlier and more casual to hang out with.
Lifting has also given me the benefit of getting a more central role in conversation. People generally respect me alot more than when I was skinnier. Most peeps say hello to me enthusiastically and seem to enjoy talking to me. My superiors listen to my words and take notice of my opinions, something they didnt do when I was skinny. If you look good and got brains to back it up you'll get far in life with both women and work.
So in my book, dont worry about what women will think. You'll get pleasantly surprised with the amount of quality women who will be attracted to the new you.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
One things for sure, if you start getting to big, it is easy as pie to get smaller.
Lifeforce said:
Yeah, "only," but really you're handicapping yourself if you aren't lifting in terms of getting girls. If that's your only reason I say good on ya. I'd rather attract girls through my body rather than psychological tricks of speed seduction or whatever. Both are mostly just initial attractors anyway... gives her a reason to talk to you to begin with. I've hardly had trouble talking to girls but it's just easier when their buying signals are set to full to begin with.
Girls is a big reason I lift but the other benefits are awesome too:
1. I felt really depressed Monday morning for no apparent reason. 11:30 rolled around, I hit the gym and came back to work and realized that I felt a ton better and was just peachy the rest of the time.
2. I can hit homeruns in softball now over a 30 foot fence when two years ago I couldn't even clear the heads of the outfielders.
3. Confidence is huge. An older guy friend (he's like 58) at work I hadn't seen in two years because he was transferred (and is now back) now every DAY has been commenting to me about how big i've gotten. He'll pass me in the hall and be like "hey there Fred.. or should i say 'Big Fred' now? See you, Big Fred!" (my name is not Fred)
I just changed gyms and in the the past two weeks I've had 3 guys come up to me and ask if i compete in powerlifting after they have watched me squat or deadlift. One guy of course thought he was cool pulling 250 until I set up beside him, and he remarked, "hey man don't make me look bad."
This is not bragging. Anyone can do this. We're men and our bodies are meant to be big and strong. All you need is the dedication and a little knowledge and you can have the same things happen to you.
Very few, and you're right, the ones who don't have issues. Do you really want a girl that likes skinny guys? This means she looks at you as feminine and is probably more masculine herself! It balances out!Lifeforce said:
Really the only women who don't like it are the ones who think they don't have a chance with you. Guys do this same thing when they see a pretty girl and say stuff like "i bet she's a ho" anyway. They're really just doing that thing of "ohh i really didn't want it anyway" lie like that fox and the grapes story.
I think when this thing about girls not liking muscular guys comes up it is because they are thinking about the wrong type of muscular guys. They're thinking of the guys on espn and stuff and are ignorant of the fact that they don't look like that all year round.
Women dig muscular guys because they are extremely masculine. And you are extra masculine because you are now confident because you aren't skinny or fat anymore. I had a girl take a picture of my back when i was sleeping to send to her friends. My ex told me it made her wet to watch me hit a triple and speed around the bases. Women love you being masculine and being active.
The other part is that often fairly muscular guys walk around like they're fvcking hot sh1t (artificially pumping their arms out and other stupid crap) instead of just playing it cool so they get a bad rap.
My strong/cut/ripped/whatever friends definitely have more and prettier girls than my plain or chubby friends do.
I would agree that most women don't like a guy who looks like this. So when girls say, "I don't like a muscular guy", they might mean "I don't like a musclebound monster". But you won't get like that unless you are a genetic freak and put in 1000% dedication for many years.
Don't worry about getting too huge. You won't walk into the gym, pick up a 15 lb dumbbell and start curling, and come out 100 lbs heavier. I personally don't want to get huge, I just want a muscular athletic build (5'8", maybe in the 160s, 8-10% bf), and then I'll start training purely for strength gains. I think it's pathetic when people say "I don't work out because bodybuilders look disgusting". Hell, take a look at the people in the gym and see how many of them look like big bodybuilders. Not many, and those who do obviously took a while to get there.
But yes, as mrRuckus said, muscularity = masculinity. Go to any social situation and you'll see the muscular guys tend to get more attention and respect automatically. With that said, their confidence and testosterone that they get from lifting certainly helps in this as well. I've gained about 15 pounds so far, my confidence and sex drive have gone through the roof and I can already feel some added respect from guys and attraction from girls.
All in all, I think muscles on a guy are like tits on a girl. There's that sexuality that goes along with them. You can still be good-looking if you are a skinny guy of course but I think when girls see a muscular guy it makes them think of sex, just like when we see girls with big tits.
I also think that girls who don't like muscular guys are just like guys who say they would rather have an 8 than a 10. Unless they are referring to monsters like I said before, they are probably just intimidated, and you don't want an unconfident girl anyway.
P.S. I agree though, I am also not working out "just to get laid". I am doing it for me. It will help me in sports, and I want to be as strong as I can be, among other reasons.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
gösta berling
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 18, 2008
- Messages
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but really i think mrR and others have it right, when girls say they don't like a guy "too muscly", they have a naive misconception in their head, and they envisage this kinda thing
http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r255/Kelly0108/Ronnie_Coleman_photo340.jpg
those guys are ELITE bodybuilders working hard for MANY years, taking high doses of steroids, and pretty much dedicating their working life (and most of the rest of it) to bodybuilding..
most guys will NEVER look like that, and the truth is, a 5'8 230lb guy with 13% body fat is not going to repel hot girls with his body. Muscle is naturally attractive to females, and that's just fact really. How much muscle and how much they like it varies from girl to girl - obviously - but that should never stop you from achieving the physique you want to achieve
to be honest mate I don't even think a guy having a good body is as important as a girl having a good body. Besides face, what else is there that attracts a guy to a girl?fuzzx said:
However conversely, a girl can be attracted to a guy whose face is nothing to write home about.
So a guy's body isn't as important as a girl's is...His game is more important.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Fuglydude
Master Don Juan
In my experience most women prefer the muscular athletic look over the Ronnie coleman-like professional bodybuilder look because they think its freaky. Muscles and masculinity go together and that attracts women like flies to dog poop.
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
I love it when novices justify their fear and apprehension with "I dont want to get TOO big now!" thinking all they have to do is pump some bicep curls and in two weeks they'll look like Ronnie Coleman!! LOL!
I hear it all the time :"I dont wanna get too big now!!"
:crackup:
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.