"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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I have wasted all of high school!!!!!!!!!

adpreston1988

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Mr_rogers said:
I've got to be one of the most socially insecure people on the planet, and even my self-esteem has gone up since I started reading the stuff here. I was the least talkative (to those I didn't know), arrogant, self-absorbed bastard on the planet, but once I realized what it was that I was doing wrong, I could start working towards improving myself.

Good luck!
So how'd you go about this?? There are these two girls right now that I really like. I've known them for a long time (one since middle school and the other just in high school), but I was never really close with either one. However, just recently I've been hanging out with them more and have really started chatting it up online with one of them. In school though they don't seem to be as interested in talking to me as when I just hang out with them and my friends. Should I just see where things go and let them come to me if they're interested or should I be more forward?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BlackAccord

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applaya's advice is perfect

shydude: Bad advice. Your 16 and your telling him that he will regret smoking weed later in life? Don't give advice for things you don't know much about. And don't tell people to dance naked in lunch, I'm sure this guy wants to graduate and not get thrown out of school.
 

Mr_rogers

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adpreston1988 said:
So how'd you go about this??
Well, the key really is understanding what it is that you're doing that makes people think you're odd or whatever. If you're unsure of that... It's hard to make the changes.

Like I said before, I was an arrogant, overly opinionated bastard. So... Once I realized what I sounded like, I made sure to be careful how I worded things, my tone when I spoke to others, and how often I actually spoke. For example...

"Hey, do you get this homework?"

"Um... Yeah. It's not very hard."

That's what I'd say before I realized what an idiot I was being. Now, I'll say something more along these lines:

"Hey, do you get this homework?"

"Yep. Why, which part are you stuck on?"

Sounds much nicer. Also, I noticed that I was the worst for not knowing how to make conversation. I was totally unaware of how self-centered I was and how I sounded. I didn't understand that conversation has to flow, which means asking questions of other people, rather than focusing on myself as the main topic the entire time. *shakes head* You have no idea how bad I was for this. I still do it sometimes, but now that I've realized what I'm doing wrong, it's possible to work towards fixing it.

There are these two girls right now that I really like. I've known them for a long time (one since middle school and the other just in high school), but I was never really close with either one. However, just recently I've been hanging out with them more and have really started chatting it up online with one of them. In school though they don't seem to be as interested in talking to me as when I just hang out with them and my friends. Should I just see where things go and let them come to me if they're interested or should I be more forward?
Well... I'm pretty new at this whole thing still, but I'll let you know what I'd do in this situation.

I've had a similar experience to the one that you describe above with your middle school friends and all. I really screwed things up for myself, though. You know how I did that? Well, aside from being an arrogant idiot, I was also way too "clingy". I would have done anything for this girl and she damn well knew it. Girls don't like desperate guys that they can push around, as I'm sure you've read in the Bible (if not, I'd suggest giving it a look over). Being a girls online buddy, for me at least, is a really bad idea. It makes them think that you just want to be friends, and once again, as it states in the DJ Bible, the "friend zone" is a royal pain in the ass to get out of. So... In closing, if you want to be with one of these girls, you've got to stop treating them like friends. Don't just sit and wait for one of them to make a move, because it's unlikely that they'll actually ask you out (something about women that I really don't get).

Hope I helped a bit.
 

adpreston1988

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So what's your opinion of talking online to girls? Should I not do it at all? But one of the girls I'm thinking about taking to prom (and I know who likes me) talks to me all the time on aim and so I don't know if I really buy the talking online puts you in the friend zone. I'd rather not have to talk to them online and hang out, but a lot of the times they're not available or I'm doing something with my friends.
 

Mr_rogers

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adpreston1988 said:
So what's your opinion of talking online to girls? Should I not do it at all? But one of the girls I'm thinking about taking to prom (and I know who likes me) talks to me all the time on aim and so I don't know if I really buy the talking online puts you in the friend zone. I'd rather not have to talk to them online and hang out, but a lot of the times they're not available or I'm doing something with my friends.
I don't have a problem with talking to girls over the internet, as long as it isn't your only method of communication with them.

As for you not buying the talking online puts you in the friend zone, what I said before was just my own observation. Certainly not a hard and fast rule of any kind whatsoever. If she's the one that is initiating the contact that you have, then it's fine. It's just when you always have to start the convo that things get worrysome, IMO.

Really, it seems like you're doing pretty well. Post again if you need to know something more.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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adpreston1988

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If you always have to start up the conversations on AIM with a girl does that mean she has no interest in talking to you whatsoever?
 

Mr_rogers

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adpreston1988 said:
If you always have to start up the conversations on AIM with a girl does that mean she has no interest in talking to you whatsoever?
Um... I'd say that there is a good chance of it, yes. Just think about it... If she really wanted to talk to you, she'd start the convo, rather than waiting until you do, unless she's too shy or something weird like that.:nervous: I for one never take it as a good sign...
 

TheBrownParticle

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I HEKKA FEEL U GUY

IVE WASTED HIGH SCHOOL....I just read Secrets of the Jerk and Kill that Desperation and I feel like a nerd for all my years in high school...Ball is in a little more than a month and I dont feel like I can get a date
 
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