"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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I have wasted all of high school!!!!!!!!!

adpreston1988

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Mr_rogers said:
I've got to be one of the most socially insecure people on the planet, and even my self-esteem has gone up since I started reading the stuff here. I was the least talkative (to those I didn't know), arrogant, self-absorbed bastard on the planet, but once I realized what it was that I was doing wrong, I could start working towards improving myself.

Good luck!
So how'd you go about this?? There are these two girls right now that I really like. I've known them for a long time (one since middle school and the other just in high school), but I was never really close with either one. However, just recently I've been hanging out with them more and have really started chatting it up online with one of them. In school though they don't seem to be as interested in talking to me as when I just hang out with them and my friends. Should I just see where things go and let them come to me if they're interested or should I be more forward?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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BlackAccord

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applaya's advice is perfect

shydude: Bad advice. Your 16 and your telling him that he will regret smoking weed later in life? Don't give advice for things you don't know much about. And don't tell people to dance naked in lunch, I'm sure this guy wants to graduate and not get thrown out of school.
 

Mr_rogers

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adpreston1988 said:
So how'd you go about this??
Well, the key really is understanding what it is that you're doing that makes people think you're odd or whatever. If you're unsure of that... It's hard to make the changes.

Like I said before, I was an arrogant, overly opinionated bastard. So... Once I realized what I sounded like, I made sure to be careful how I worded things, my tone when I spoke to others, and how often I actually spoke. For example...

"Hey, do you get this homework?"

"Um... Yeah. It's not very hard."

That's what I'd say before I realized what an idiot I was being. Now, I'll say something more along these lines:

"Hey, do you get this homework?"

"Yep. Why, which part are you stuck on?"

Sounds much nicer. Also, I noticed that I was the worst for not knowing how to make conversation. I was totally unaware of how self-centered I was and how I sounded. I didn't understand that conversation has to flow, which means asking questions of other people, rather than focusing on myself as the main topic the entire time. *shakes head* You have no idea how bad I was for this. I still do it sometimes, but now that I've realized what I'm doing wrong, it's possible to work towards fixing it.

There are these two girls right now that I really like. I've known them for a long time (one since middle school and the other just in high school), but I was never really close with either one. However, just recently I've been hanging out with them more and have really started chatting it up online with one of them. In school though they don't seem to be as interested in talking to me as when I just hang out with them and my friends. Should I just see where things go and let them come to me if they're interested or should I be more forward?
Well... I'm pretty new at this whole thing still, but I'll let you know what I'd do in this situation.

I've had a similar experience to the one that you describe above with your middle school friends and all. I really screwed things up for myself, though. You know how I did that? Well, aside from being an arrogant idiot, I was also way too "clingy". I would have done anything for this girl and she damn well knew it. Girls don't like desperate guys that they can push around, as I'm sure you've read in the Bible (if not, I'd suggest giving it a look over). Being a girls online buddy, for me at least, is a really bad idea. It makes them think that you just want to be friends, and once again, as it states in the DJ Bible, the "friend zone" is a royal pain in the ass to get out of. So... In closing, if you want to be with one of these girls, you've got to stop treating them like friends. Don't just sit and wait for one of them to make a move, because it's unlikely that they'll actually ask you out (something about women that I really don't get).

Hope I helped a bit.
 

adpreston1988

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So what's your opinion of talking online to girls? Should I not do it at all? But one of the girls I'm thinking about taking to prom (and I know who likes me) talks to me all the time on aim and so I don't know if I really buy the talking online puts you in the friend zone. I'd rather not have to talk to them online and hang out, but a lot of the times they're not available or I'm doing something with my friends.
 

Mr_rogers

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adpreston1988 said:
So what's your opinion of talking online to girls? Should I not do it at all? But one of the girls I'm thinking about taking to prom (and I know who likes me) talks to me all the time on aim and so I don't know if I really buy the talking online puts you in the friend zone. I'd rather not have to talk to them online and hang out, but a lot of the times they're not available or I'm doing something with my friends.
I don't have a problem with talking to girls over the internet, as long as it isn't your only method of communication with them.

As for you not buying the talking online puts you in the friend zone, what I said before was just my own observation. Certainly not a hard and fast rule of any kind whatsoever. If she's the one that is initiating the contact that you have, then it's fine. It's just when you always have to start the convo that things get worrysome, IMO.

Really, it seems like you're doing pretty well. Post again if you need to know something more.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

adpreston1988

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If you always have to start up the conversations on AIM with a girl does that mean she has no interest in talking to you whatsoever?
 

Mr_rogers

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adpreston1988 said:
If you always have to start up the conversations on AIM with a girl does that mean she has no interest in talking to you whatsoever?
Um... I'd say that there is a good chance of it, yes. Just think about it... If she really wanted to talk to you, she'd start the convo, rather than waiting until you do, unless she's too shy or something weird like that.:nervous: I for one never take it as a good sign...
 

TheBrownParticle

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I HEKKA FEEL U GUY

IVE WASTED HIGH SCHOOL....I just read Secrets of the Jerk and Kill that Desperation and I feel like a nerd for all my years in high school...Ball is in a little more than a month and I dont feel like I can get a date
 
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