"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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I have trouble kinoing when not flirting or talking about sex

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Randomly invited an acquaintance out with me and my guy last night. We got touchy-feely right off the bat, he sensed this, and made up an excuse to get out of there.

Continued great (e.g. - my hand on her ass, me shoving her into a snowbank, etc.) but then when we left the second bar to chat in private somewhere, we started discussing stuff like family and music -- none of which is especially "sexy" subject matter, and I completely stopped kinoing and escalating. (I ended up inviting her back to my place and we had coffee - all well and good, but all we did was have a very, very long conversation about unsexy stuff like music and video games.)

It hit me right after I walked her out to her car -- anything that isn't idle sex chatter makes me into a eunuch. Should I have closed the deal, then concentrated on getting to know her?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ARrocket

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starfishandcoffee said:
It hit me right after I walked her out to her car -- anything that isn't idle sex chatter makes me into a eunuch. Should I have closed the deal, then concentrated on getting to know her?
Yes.

You took your foot off the gas, and it cost you. You had momentum going, so you always strike while the iron is hot.

The title of your thread strikes me as odd. I think the mindset of "I am not flirting with this girl" is pretty weird. Flirting isn't a conscious decision IMO...it is simply having fun. You always wanna be a fun guy. You can turn even mundane topics into something fun.

"Oh, you play soccer? I bet I'd kick your ass!" (while poking or something like that). Keep things light and interesting, and don't ****block yourself like you just did.
 

Julius_Seizeher

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"No guts, no glory" is as true with regards to kinoing as it is in playing poker and gold mining.

Grab her by the arm or the back of the neck, or punch her. Because you aren't afraid to touch her.

Then you can get all R Kelly on her later.
 

Huffman

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Well use your hands to demonstrate a point. Whatever you're talking about, try to gesticulate more, and when applicable, you can turn it into playful touching. Think about French people, they talk with their hands all the time ;)
 
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