I have really, really, really bad oneitis for my prom date

[dds98]

So basically there's this girl that I'm friends with that isn't really my friend when I come to think of it. She used to be a 10/10 hottie and extremely respectable but now she's like a 5/10 fatty who's kind of a slut and a tease now.

I have the most extreme possible oneitis you can have for this girl. I have failed so many times with her because she's basically the first girl I've ever really liked this much or have gotten this far with.

When I didn't make my intentions clear that I liked her, we were really good friends, we hung out a lot and got along really well. Ever since I made that first move, things have been awkward ever since.

Since I have huge oneitis for her I asked her to prom, thought she was gonna say no but she said yes. I think she said yes to prom out of desperation of not getting a date (now that she isn't a 10/10 anymore). I really want to fix my relationship with her but I don't know how to do it. Can anyone help?


Long version:

• Story starts Junior year of high school (last year)
• I'm a nerdy shy beta foreveralone white kid
• She's a somewhat popular white girl
• We end up with a class together
• I crush on her really hard but I never talk to her
• One act plays in school comes up, we're both in it
• We end up a little closer, more flirtation and IOIs
• Cast party comes up
• After the cast party me, her, another guy and another girl go to a donut shop
• I suggest that we should make a regular "adventure group" of the 4 of us
• The other girl there starts giving me hard IOIs, starts EXTREME kino with me in front of the other 2
• Because of this the other guy has no competition basically and swoops me, they become boyfriend and girlfriend
• I pretend I never liked her and I remain friends with the other 3
• After a while I think I got over her
• She progressively becomes less and less attractive, gets fatter
• I get more social skills and acquire more female friends
• He breaks up with her after 6 months towards the end of the summer
  
  
• Senior year starts
• All of my feelings for her resurface
• She keeps inviting me to hang out and we text constantly, many IOIs from her
• She invites me to a kickback at her house
• I don't make a move
• Other guy does, they hook up in her room
• She shows immediate remorse, starts repeating "I got the wrong guy"
• I later found out I was the RIGHT guy (whoops)
  
  
• I don't make any moves because she's basically slutty now
• We remain "friends" up until new years
• We go to the same new years party
• We make out for like 10 seconds at ball drop
• I ask her out a week later, she says "let's just be friends"
• At this point I'm like SCREW IT and completely cut contact with her
• We end up going to the same bonfire at a friend's house a month later and she does a lot of flirty **** with me, many IOIs
• I make a point to hang out with her and watch a movie with another couple as a double date, I do the classic arm around shoulder maneuver but I don't K-close her at all
• I start texting her again but sound really beta
• I tell her I want to make out with her (over text message) and she doesn't respond
• Next time I hang out with her I try kino, some resistance, no IOIs from her at all
  
  
• She's flirting with other guys right in front of me, but they're all fleeting
• Things are really awkward between us now
• Prom's coming up
• I still have extreme oneitis for her
• I ask her friend to 'feel out the situation' for me
• She tells me that I shouldn't ask her to prom
• A few weeks later her friend tells me she changed her mind
• I ask her and she says yes
  
  
• Sometimes she gives me IOIs, I reciprocate with kino, sometimes shes for it sometimes she isn't
• Everyone is thinking "WTF she's so unattractive why did you ask her to prom"
• Pretty sure she changed her mind because nobody else would want to ask her
• I want to fix this but don't know how

 

[Mindgamez]

What? So she was a perfect 10, and she became a 5? I think that when you start going far with a girl, you become too attached and you only try to find positive things about her, making her a 10. A 10 is nearly impossible, unless maybe it's your wife. Nobody is perfect. Go get some other girls, some other options. Talk to more girls and don't be outcome dependant.

 

[Combo]

More plates will fix the problem

 

[LearningSlowly]

She progressively becomes less and less attractive, gets fatter
I get more social skills and acquire more female friends
Everyone is thinking "WTF she's so unattractive why did you ask her to prom"

This story doesn't make sense to me, and you already know the advice we're all going to give.

Give up on this girl forever. She's a whale.

If you actually got more social skills and more female friends, why do you even care about this girl? Is it because you stopped improving and are back to being an AFC?

Start improving again, NEVER settle for ugly girls. EVER.

 

[BPH]

She's a 5? Ew...Get some confidence in your ability to pull girls...go outside or something.

 

[dds98]

Okay the 5/10 was definitely an exaggeration, she's maybe a 6-7 now. And she's not fat, just a little chubby.

The main reason why I'm really attracted to her is because of her personality and also cause she used to be really really hot.

And how do I go for other girls if I'm going to prom with this chick exactly?

 

[LearningSlowly]

And how do I go for other girls if I'm going to prom with this chick exactly?

Prom≠marriage

First you talk to other girls. Then you touch other girls. Then you kiss other girls.

Start a journal for more specific advice.

 

[Mindgamez]

Prom≠marriage

Haha, gotta remember that one! I put too much importance on it myself.

 

[dds98]

Ok thing is, every other girl I meet I won't like as much as my oneitis girl. It can't be done. I've been friends with her for like a year and I basically fell for her personality on top of her looks. I don't think just meeting another girl and knowing her for a week will fix this.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Do you actually want help or what? You keep on tying to convince these guys who are trying to help you realize that you have one-itis for her, okay if you like it, then cool, but you posted about this which means deep within your core you know the truth, you know what do man. Go for other girls mate, I'm not saying you will find one which you like, but then again you'll never know if you don't try. Momento mori.

 

[OptimumIndividual]

Dude....drop the beta act and grow a pair. If I sound harsh then there's a reason for that. You need a reality check.

 

[dds98]

Ok... is there anything I can do to fix it without finding another girl?

 

[LearningSlowly]

Ok... is there anything I can do to fix it without finding another girl?

No. Take our advice.

 

[Amo]

She's a substandard chick with some "magical" personality, despite the fact no one else wants to ask her to prom.

Why are you comprising your standards? Drop the chick, find someone better.

 

[ArcBound]

So basically there's this girl that I'm friends with that isn't really my friend when I come to think of it. She used to be a 10/10 hottie and extremely respectable but now she's like a 5/10 fatty who's kind of a slut and a tease now.

I have the most extreme possible oneitis you can have for this girl. I have failed so many times with her because she's basically the first girl I've ever really liked this much or have gotten this far with.

When I didn't make my intentions clear that I liked her, we were really good friends, we hung out a lot and got along really well. Ever since I made that first move, things have been awkward ever since.

Since I have huge oneitis for her I asked her to prom, thought she was gonna say no but she said yes. I think she said yes to prom out of desperation of not getting a date (now that she isn't a 10/10 anymore). I really want to fix my relationship with her but I don't know how to do it. Can anyone help?


Long version:

• Story starts Junior year of high school (last year)
• I'm a nerdy shy beta foreveralone white kid
• She's a somewhat popular white girl
• We end up with a class together
• I crush on her really hard but I never talk to her
• One act plays in school comes up, we're both in it
• We end up a little closer, more flirtation and IOIs
• Cast party comes up
• After the cast party me, her, another guy and another girl go to a donut shop
• I suggest that we should make a regular "adventure group" of the 4 of us
• The other girl there starts giving me hard IOIs, starts EXTREME kino with me in front of the other 2
• Because of this the other guy has no competition basically and swoops me, they become boyfriend and girlfriend
• I pretend I never liked her and I remain friends with the other 3
• After a while I think I got over her
• She progressively becomes less and less attractive, gets fatter
• I get more social skills and acquire more female friends
• He breaks up with her after 6 months towards the end of the summer
  
  
• Senior year starts
• All of my feelings for her resurface
• She keeps inviting me to hang out and we text constantly, many IOIs from her
• She invites me to a kickback at her house
• I don't make a move
• Other guy does, they hook up in her room
• She shows immediate remorse, starts repeating "I got the wrong guy"
• I later found out I was the RIGHT guy (whoops)
  
  
• I don't make any moves because she's basically slutty now
• We remain "friends" up until new years
• We go to the same new years party
• We make out for like 10 seconds at ball drop
• I ask her out a week later, she says "let's just be friends"
• At this point I'm like SCREW IT and completely cut contact with her
• We end up going to the same bonfire at a friend's house a month later and she does a lot of flirty **** with me, many IOIs
• I make a point to hang out with her and watch a movie with another couple as a double date, I do the classic arm around shoulder maneuver but I don't K-close her at all
• I start texting her again but sound really beta
• I tell her I want to make out with her (over text message) and she doesn't respond
• Next time I hang out with her I try kino, some resistance, no IOIs from her at all
  
  
• She's flirting with other guys right in front of me, but they're all fleeting
• Things are really awkward between us now
• Prom's coming up
• I still have extreme oneitis for her
• I ask her friend to 'feel out the situation' for me
• She tells me that I shouldn't ask her to prom
• A few weeks later her friend tells me she changed her mind
• I ask her and she says yes
  
  
• Sometimes she gives me IOIs, I reciprocate with kino, sometimes shes for it sometimes she isn't
• Everyone is thinking "WTF she's so unattractive why did you ask her to prom"
• Pretty sure she changed her mind because nobody else would want to ask her
• I want to fix this but don't know how

Why do you see yourself as a nerdy shy beta foreveralone white kid ?

Chances are if you label yourself as all of those things, you must know what qualities in yourself attribute to those labels.

And if you know that, that means you can CHANGE some of those factors !

List some of the things that you think you need to change or improve and we can work on that in this thread.

 

[BPH]

...can we let this thread die now? The kid's been told what he has to do, whether he does that or not is up to him now.