I have NO female friends!

[crotchrocket]

I have a problem, and I'm totally serious about this, I have NO female friends, NO unattached, single, female friends that I could use for 'social proof'. NO female friends to use for setting me up with their girl friends. I honestly have no idea (from personal experience anyway) what the friendzone is like, my buddies (many of whom are experts in this area) have no sympathy for me and think I'm joking when I ask them-well I am not joking!

I've done a search on this but I can't find anything to help me out! getting out of friendzone, avoiding friendzone, staying as far away as possible from friendzone, sure not a problem, that's easy, how about getting into it? staying awhile?

Anybody have any suggestions?

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

Ill be honest with you, I have no female 'friends' either. All my friends are male. I don't hang out with any females.

is this a problem? for me it isnt. When it comes to women for me they are only for being my girlfriends, not being my friends, not for being people that I go hangout with etc etc. The only problem that can arise from not having any female friends is that people will notice you only hang out with guys and will think you're gay, and that can hurt your reputation. Of course this is just for those that never had a girlfriend and people have never seen him with a gf.

Im not recommending not having female friends. I personally will change this soon and will try to become friends with more girls. But for me it is just hard to think about women in a friendship sort of way. This doesn't mean I don't talk to any girls, but none are what you would consider a 'friend.'

 

[altek]

no such tihng as a female friend, read the Ladder Theory for more information (google it)

 

[ScrewIt]

altek put it correctly.

go watch "when harry met sally" then you'll understand the whole concept about it.

i think the closest thing to being friends is an acquantance. Being friends with a woman means either one of you has had or does have feelings for hte other. most of the girls i know are acquantances, i hung out/dated with them in the past, but i would never really ask them to hang out with me unless i was interested in them.

anyways this is a controversial topic, watch the video...then you shall understand..muahahhaaa

 

[bossdog]

If you want female friends you gotta go out and get them.

Go to www.fastseduction.com and read the playerguide.

 

[Dukester]

to Altek- i disagree w/ you on this one. I have plenty of female friends. I seperate them from the chicks I DJ. The ones that i'm friends w/ are girls I dont bother DJ'ing, or have had some form of relationship w/.
i.e. my friend lisa- we are good friends, and neither of us have n e intentions of being more
my friend kim- she's kinda an exception. she's a really good friend, known her for 2 years. She's gonna be a **** buddy soon, cuz she's told me that she wants to loose her virginity to me, and only me (so ya)

to crotchrocket and joe:
i think it is a problem. you do need a social proof. you do need essentially, those practice girls. your friends taht are girls help you out by teaching you what and what not to do w/ a girl. I'm not saying they tell you what to do. They are just like any guy friend, and you can use them for emotional support, or just to hang out and watch a movie.

I think having friends that are girls helps you broaden your horizons, and helps you find waht you are looking for better. My friend lisa and kim (mentioned above). they dont agree w/ the attitude i have towards women, and how i get them. but they are cool w/ it since we are friends, and they support me in w/e i do. cuz they are friends, that's all

hope that kinda helped u

 

[crotchrocket]

the Ladder Theory, WOW ! and all along I was living the ladder theory just like a normal heterosexual boy should!

Quick story, I've never seen the harry/sally drivel, didn't know about the ladder until 5 minutes ago; when I ended it with my last semi-long term girl (who was HOT looking but a major ice-queen), she said "can we still be friends?" I said "no, I don't want to be your friend!" she asked "why not", I told her "because you make for a lousy friend!" she says (half crying) "what do you mean I have lots of guy friends" I answer "no you don't" she says "yes I do and they think I'm a good friend" I tell her "they may pretend to be but it's just because they are hoping they have a shot with you!" of course she was skeptical, but I think even she knew I was right.

My question again is HOW? If you accept the ladder theory as truth, I can honestly say then if you asked say the 20 girls I know, on a first name basis, I can guarantee that EVERYONE of them would have me on their f***able/date- able ladder, even though I try not to get put there in the first place. So what does a guy do differently to become 'just a friend'? I can't ever see myself at the point where I talk 'girl talk' with women, or supplicate to them, or go shopping with them. So short of abandoning every DJ skill I've worked so hard to make a core part of my personality, what am I supposed to do? Does it happen naturally? If so, then I guess I will have to accept that I will never have a female friend.

 

[tom121]

if a girl isn't attracted to you

you are in her "friends zone"

and it goes other way around when shes attracted to you

 

[DJDamage]

If you want female friends for social proof you obviously have to attract them like you would as a don juan. Try to date as many women as you can, and as soon as you see its not working out, either tell her you want to be her friend or revert to an AFC behaviour.

Then you can have a platonic female friend. However you yourself have to make sure you won't hang out with her much and also make sure that you are dating other women who are hotter then her to avoid oneitis with your "current friend".

To me the above statment is alot of work - just to get female friend. Don't count on a female friend so you can have social proof and score with other women. Only go after women you want to date and if it doesn't work out for you, then you can make her your friend. Not the other way around.

 

[frivolousz21]

well here is one for you!

to have a "real" female friend you must both not want each other....and just want to be friends.

then it can be real.

but that probably wont happen unless you both date and have a mutual break up

 

[crotchrocket]

So what everyone is saying is that in order to have female friends, I have to be totally unattractive to these girls AND I have to have absolutely no attraction to them, nothing not even in the back of my mind? Am I understanding this right, because I can't see that ever happening.

You'd think it would be so simple, just go out and find some HB1 and chat her up and make a new friend. There's a problem with that, I'd say I'm an 8 and I have DJ skills that are now so deeply entrenched in my persona I couldn't dumb them down if I tried. So therefore even the girls that I have NO attraction to, inevitably become attracted to me. It isn't something you can stop, is it? I've had this happen, I went over and chatted it up with some friends of a girl I dated a few times, with the intentions of just making friends, then next time I see these girls, they start giving me that look, and I think oh sh!t not you too!

It's a good problem to have definitely, but it is a problem none the less.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

Just to clear something up, you don't need to have a girl come with somewhere for social proof, you can find a few girls when you get there, and boom, youve got social proof.

I have had a few friendships with women and they are pretty much sub-par. Guys are more loyal, funny, are able to play sports with you, and you can relate to alot more.

The only real advantage of having female friends is you get to meet thier female friends.

In general the ladder theory is pretty correct. I talked about this with my mom a little while back and she completely agrees, guys and gals can't be friends, sex gets in the way.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Marcopolo]

I am reading the latter theory. Funny but a little inconsistant. They say that half of the attraction is based on money and power, but then they use an example of an outlaw biker as the guy the woman is attracted to. The problem is that outlaw bikers generally speaking are not rich and not powerful, well, not in a real sense as they have no political power or money to manipulate people with.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Men and Women can never be 'friends'

Women have girl friends and 'guy they want to fukk' friends.

There isn't a 3rd category.

 

[Marcopolo]

These guys have got to be kidding. Theri next example is an unemployed alcaholic! When I think of money and power I am thinking someone who is a multimillionaire and is either a mafia don or some high ranking politician, or who owns a company where he can lord it over 1000's of wage slaves, etc. Perhaps a famous actor or a rock star of something.... I shall continure reading

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by Mr. Mystery II

In general the ladder theory is pretty correct. I talked about this with my mom a little while back and she completely agrees, guys and gals can't be friends, sex gets in the way.

Mr. Mystery

exactly.

 

[crotchrocket]

I think the ladder theory nailed it!

Case in point; a buddy of mine (a total AFC-by the way) has lots of female friends, they'll phone him up when they need help with something, he talks to them about their guy problems, and they try to set him up with their available friends (which would come in handy once in awhile for sure), although as far as I know it has never been successful. Even though he won't admit it he is good friends with these girls because that's as close as he can get, it's not his choice! I'm not looking for that, that's for sure!

Is it an anomoly, an accident of nature when a guy is able to have female friends AND be attractive to them?

As far as the social proof thing, is it a wrong kind of social proof involved when a guy has lots of female friends, you know, if you are 'good friend' material for one chic then that's all the other chics will see you as (girls are perceptive about this after all, and they do talk). So maybe we are all better off not having female friends after all?

 

[Iguana]

You're not alone:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62419


Iguana
Peace & Metal

 

[Iguana]

I have a female friend and we are so NOT attracted to each other, never had.

I would never **** her.

There you go, all your theories failed.


Iguana
Peace & Metal

 

[DJDamage]

quote:
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I have a female friend and we are so NOT attracted to each other, never had.

I would never **** her.

There you go, all your theories failed.
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Actually Iguana The ladder theroy does mention that a guy and girl can be friends if:

a) The guy friend of her is gay
b) they are not attracted to one another
c) the guy is dating a girl hotter then his friend therefore he has her higher on the ladder and won't be desperate to fvck her.

so if you are a stright guy who is attracted to your female friend and you are not seeing anyone else. The friendship is most likely doomed.