I have no confidence!!

[bud_2005]

I think I have some social problems and I want to fix them. I'm going to rant so just bear with me and maybe you could help me.

First I take it way too much to heart when someone says something bad about me. I don't know why I just do. Then I feel like a huge loser and my self-esteem really takes a hit.

Another thing is if I'm in a group of people and if there is one person in it that I know doesn't like me I get really uncomfortable and don't say a word because I afraid he might call me out and I'll just look stupid.

I'm a senior in HS now and I had a few girlfriends freshman and sophomore year but I haven't had one since. Like the last 5 girls I've tried to go after have turned me down and now I don't see the point of trying to get one because I know I'll just get rejected.

Also I have a lot of trouble coming up with good comebacks when I'm with a group of people and they are joking around. I just go blank and all I can do is kind of smile.

One more thing: I have a lot of trouble carrying a conversation. After the greeting I can't think of much to say and when I'm with a group I'm most of the time silent and just listen to everyone else talk.

Maybe you could give me some tips. THanks

 

[AFK Protector]

Yeah, what I did was become kinda jerkish, but kept my values and stuff intact cuz of hanging with my parents at home after school cuz they get off work the same time I come home from school. So I can't be a jerk at home.

Anyways, I just stopped giving a sh1t. Forget about consequences temporary. Once I was in a group...in the morning in a big lunchroom. So this smartass...the one I'm always talking about being an ass to me and anyone that doesn't agree with him, goes and says " hahah AFK you're a fag."

So I go, "nope, sorry to disapppoint you."

Or if they insult you, just stare at them, smile like you usually do and they won't expect anything until you go....

"hey right here man." ::Gives them the bird::

Or I dunno....just start with standing up for yourself. I gotta work on it more cuz people are always joking and I kinda take it personally like you, although I'm getting better at laughing it off and getting them with a comeback.

You will soon notice the guys who crack jokes are extremely insecure and if you puncture their little balloon shell, they'll get all red and look stupid. Just watch.

hope this helped.

 

[AFK Protector]

Actually, that should've been the second step.

The first step is to read the DJ BIBLE (top right hand corner). And read the post about memorizing this phrase and making it part of yourself:

There's nothing I can't handle.

Think it was giovanni who wrote it....

And don't say you have no confidence, cuz you do.

 

[gav]

afk covered it well. you must not take anyone's shyt if they start disresrespecting you. respect everyone else

you say that when someone says something bad about you, you take it personally? well noone knows you as well as you know yourself.you know what you're capable of and who you are so why let other people change that?

 

[biker_gixxer]

I read a book called 'feel the fear and do it anyway'. I highly recommend you purchase it and read it twice, maybe three times.

don't say a word because I afraid he might call me out and I'll just look stupid.

This book will help you deal with situations like this.

5 girls I've tried to go after have turned me down and now I don't see the point of trying to get one because I know I'll just get rejected.

Once you've gotten a handle on your fears and insecurites, you will see 'this' part of you life change for the better, promise. Quck note: girls aren't attracted to guys that come off as insecure and weak.

Also I have a lot of trouble coming up with good comebacks when I'm with a group of people and they are joking around.

This happens because your anxious, nervous, etc. You can't think straight and focus under these conditions. Once you've learn to relax and become confident, you'll be able to respond with great come backs.

One more thing: I have a lot of trouble carrying a conversation. After the greeting I can't think of much to say and when I'm with a group I'm most of the time silent and just listen to everyone else talk.

Same as above.