I Have Anger Problems/I Don't Know What To Do

[BlueAlpha1]

Okay.....let's see....



Actually I come out of the gate using the pet names of boo, baby, etc. From everything to "hey baby, what's up lol"....to "hey boo, damnnn I wouldn't mind slappin a rang on it "....or some variation of that.



Honestly, I think the rantings towards my family are the effect not the cause. What do I mean?

I believe the cause is coming from something in relation to how I grew up and the combination of:

- Not being attractive to women in terms of looks, personality, or finances (style)

- Being roasted a lot, which is what some might call bullied, but we refer to it as roasting and I myself am NOT a good roaster at all so all of my comebacks would fail miserably

- Not being included in many social groups growing up and when I was, it was basically to be the class clown for the most part, or the A.SS of the group

That was my life until about late 2006 when I lost everything for the most part. I entered a period of homelessness, cut contact with ALL of those prior people, and focused 100% on college/work which I climbed out of the financial issues and got into the middle class by the middle of 2010.

Today, I think the build up of ALL of those years of issues from my black social circles, social groups, and black women, have led me to LASH out. The family just gets included with that...NO...I don't hear from my family a lot, but to be very honest with you that's not the thing that bothers me the MOST.

What has always bothered me the most in the previous years, were the times they would gang up and roast me.....or the times when black women as a group would all diss me....it was like I was an easy target for someone to get an entire GROUP or an entire ROOM of people to burst out laughing over.

Want me to be 100% honest right now? Okay.....if you want you break Tenacity down...I mean COMPLETELY break me down? Get a group of black people in a room, put me in there...and have them all start roasting me for a straight 15 minutes.

Every ounce of self esteem, confidence, all of it...will be DRAINED from me within 15 minutes. It's always been my kryptonite.

I feel it. Every last bit of it. I don't know you but feel like you might be a long lost brother.

I am alone most of the time. I am so disenfranchised from the women you discuss, and from the corporate game which is so obviously rigged against the have nots, that I have virtually sheltered myself in for 20 months. I don't have the rage you have, but the apathy which sometimes extends to depression. I'm trying desparately to come out of this funk, including 30+ job applications in July, joining a hockey team, and signing a lease for a brand new complex, to try to have something that resembles a normal life again.

If it weren't for the unconditional love I receive from about 6 family members and about 5 male friends, I don't think I'd be able to get through the day. Despite being able to list off 10+ people who truly care about my well being, I still can't help but feel alone a lot of the time. This is def compounded by the fact that I buried my grandmother, father, father's girlfriend, and lost my BPD ex all within a 3 year span.

Since 2012 I was literally ran over by a truck that represented my own mortality, and have been struggling to get up for a year & a half.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Get a group of black people in a room, put me in there...and have them all start roasting me for a straight 15 minutes.

And those insults will be based around you not being black enough, right? How dare you be successful in life! Obviously you are in cahoots with The Man! Sell out!

Fvck them if they don't like it. Stop caring what they think. It doesn't matter.

 

[Slickster]

Want me to be 100% honest right now? Okay.....if you want you break Tenacity down...I mean COMPLETELY break me down? Get a group of black people in a room, put me in there...and have them all start roasting me for a straight 15 minutes.

Every ounce of self esteem, confidence, all of it...will be DRAINED from me within 15 minutes. It's always been my kryptonite.

What could they possibly say to you that would break you down? Insult your appearance? Your intelligence? Your abilities?

Insults only come from the weak and insecure? The more vicious the put down the more insecure the person is throwing it at you. It's also usually a reflection of their own fears and inadequacies. A truly strong and confident person has absolutely no reason or desire to put someone else down.

 

[guru1000]

Tenacity, I'm glad you got your junk out. Do you see how I prompted you to look deeper and open up more. This is what I was getting at when I stated to build stronger connections with your prospects. Open them up, give your analysis, open them up more. Repeat. You will forge an army of black women that will stand by your side for life. Being alone is a choice. Choose differently.

 

[hithard]

Can you tell me how then? I don't know how...you are a woman, so you tell me how then?

I'm not gay, I'm a heterosexual man that is physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted to black women.

But black women are and have been giving me pure HELL. Not HELL in relation to rejecting me in terms of dating and sex.....that part is OK. The HELL is when I'm in a relationship with them and have to DEAL with them.

So what am I supposed to do??

This is an issue and I get it. Their issues compounding over your issues create a $hitstorm of frustration. You need to sort your personal issues out and try not to project your inner demons onto others.

Just bang women while developing your social and relationship skills.

Stay on track with the rest of your goals.
Your doing great so far. You are just stuck fast on the subject of personal relationships.

 

[Tenacity]

I wanted to bring this convo with Guru from Poon King's Spinning Plates thread.

You are really saying I "need" to feel worshipped by that black girl who worships the thug. Although the "need" manifests not overtly but rather in your subcommunications, how does that girl now view you and what happens to the potentiality of her worshipping you?

Here's the reality that I'm coming to.

I want something deeper. Yes, I want the soul mate. To me, it's what ALL of this shyt in relation to women, dating, relationships, spinning plates, etc. has been leading up to since 2010 when I finally became "attractive".

If I don't find the soul mate, then all of this dating, fvcking, spinning plates shyt has been a complete and utter waste of fvcking time. I'm not saying my life revolves around women, it doesn't. Women are LOWER on my priority list than my Career, Working Out, etc., but women are still ON my priority list. THEY MATTER. And I'm lying through my teeth to say "I don't give a fvck" because I DO give a fvck. And I don't think there's anything wrong with giving a fvck.

I'm looking for my soul mate. She's black, with no kids, good finances, good education, and she loves me. And I'm her FIRST choice, I'm not getting the left-over of some convicted fvcking THUG/criminal/broke loser.

I need to find this fvcking girl and I honestly don't think it's just one girl, I think there's many "soul mate like chicks" out there for me. I'm at THAT stage in my life, which is what I was telling Poon King about there having to be a next level or something deeper to this shyt.

So I'm asking for help right now from you guys. I don't know what to do. AJ says I should travel, I'm going to do that. But I need to find these types of black women, the ones who HAVE NEVER fvcked with broke a.ss Ray Ray and Pookie, and have been WAITING for Tenacity to come along this entire time. That's who the hell I'm looking for and damn it.......I'm going to fvcking find them.

 

[guru1000]

Is this a want or a need? Big difference:

I want something deeper. Yes, I want the soul mate.

This is a want.

If I don't find the soul mate, then all of this dating, fvcking, spinning plates shyt has been a complete and utter waste of fvcking time.

This is a need.

I'm looking for my soul mate. She's black, with no kids, good finances, good education, and she loves me. And I'm her FIRST choice, I'm not getting the left-over of some convicted fvcking THUG/criminal/broke loser.

This is a want.

I need to find this fvcking girl and I honestly don't think it's just one girl, I think there's many "soul mate like chicks" out there for me. I'm at THAT stage in my life, which is what I was telling Poon King about there having to be a next level or something deeper to this shyt.

This is a need.

I'm going to fvcking find them.

This is a conviction.

You're all over the place. You may think the distinctions between the words "want" and "need" are trivial, but the difference between the two is paramount in the self-talk you engage and the "neediness" which manifests in your sub-communications and pitch.

I've had myriad LTRs; the best of them secured at the time when I was open to them, but not in need of them. LTR desire is not the problem. You have a lack, a "hole" which you are trying to fill with an LTR. This is the problem.

 

[Tenacity]

I've had myriad LTRs; the best of them secured at the time when I was open to them, but not in need of them. LTR desire is not the problem. You have a lack, a "hole" which you are trying to fill with an LTR. This is the problem.

But Guru.....if a woman does NOT fulfill some aspect of a man's life, then what is her purpose then? I know it's cool around the Manosphere to talk about "not needing women", "not giving a fvck", and all of that, but if a woman does not fulfill any aspect of your "being" at ALL, then what is her purpose?

Just sex?

If it's just sex, then why go through all of this shyt with gaming, taking chicks on dates, etc.? Why not just get an escort? After you get done spending time/energy/money meeting women and dating them, you are going to spend just about the same amount of money directly or indirectly anyway.

Yes, I have a "hole" within my life that I think a particular type of woman fills. If I had no such "hole", then why would I need her? Why would I want her? She would only be a "toy" for entertainment at that point when I'm looking to bust a nut.

To take it back to a business analogy, I haven't closed not ONE prospect that didn't have a "hole" that my product/service could fill. If they were already whole, there would be no business relationship.

Every relationship that we have, fills some sort of HOLE in our life. If there's no HOLE, there's no purpose/foundation to the relationship. Hell, take a look as to why most of us are on Sosuave/The Manosphere. Sosuave/The Manosphere fulfills that HOLE in many of our lives in relation to just not having quality male figures in our life to help give us wisdom on aspects of being a man. If you eliminate that HOLE, most of us would not be on this website.

 

[guru1000]

If I had no such "hole", then why would I need her?

Exactly.

Why would I want her?

Sex, company, children, and net benefits (or as you call favors).

To take it back to a business analogy, I haven't closed not ONE prospect that didn't have a "hole" that my product/service could fill. If they were already whole, there would be no business relationship.

Exactly. Who has the “hole” there, you or the prospect?

Every relationship that we have, fills some sort of HOLE in our life. If there's no HOLE, there's purpose/foundation to the relationship.

I have no holes to fill; hence I don’t need a relationship to fill a nonexistent hole. I’ll entertain one, if I had a net benefit to it. That “net benefit” would be an addition to my already fabulous life, not the center/focus of it. Big difference.

Question: If you rely on a woman to fill your "hole," when she leaves, where does that leave you?

 

[Tenacity]

I have no holes to fill; hence I don’t need a relationship to fill a nonexistent hole.

I just don't understand. If there's no hole, no need, no fulfillment that the woman provides you....then what's the purpose of all of this?

Sex, company, children, and net benefits (or as you call favors).

- I can call an escort to get sex and avoid having to learn game, work on self development, and having to go through the "numbers game" of approaching chicks, dating them, etc. to get fvcks.

- That same escort can provide "company"

- If I want children personally, I can go adopt or get a surrogate mother

- The favors provided in terms of cooking, cleaning, or running errands are things I can do myself

Guru you are older than me. I think you are in your mid-40's correct? So you are at least 12 years older than me. Have you just sat down and really thought about what the damn purpose of all of this is?

I’ll entertain one, if I had a net benefit to it. That “net benefit” would be an addition to my already fabulous life, not the center/focus of it. Big difference.

But Guru the things you listed are ALL things that can be acquired without going through any of this shyt. Plus your life is already fabulous as you state. So then what in the hell is the point of going through this for?

You know why I'm here? Because I have a hole that I believe a certain type of woman fills. If I had no such hole, I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't care. Matter of fact, I wouldn't even deal with women in this capacity. When I get horny, I can go to escorts for $50 - $70 a POP who will also provide companionship/company on the side as well.

Question: If you rely on a woman to fill your "hole," when she leaves, where does that leave you?

It would be the same thing to where if AT&T cut off my wireless internet. I would be left without an internet provider (leaving a hole) and would be scrambling trying to find another provider as soon as possible (to fill the hole).

You know what I think Guru? I don't think most of the guys here want to be pseudo-players and spin plates, then pat themselves on the back talking about how much PVSSY they are getting.

I think the vast majority of guys here are good guys, who are traditional, who just want quality LTRs. I can tell you that the spinning plates shyt is something I fell into....it's NOT what the hell I want, it's not something I enjoy, and I honestly find it quite stupid/waste of time. Like I said, since 2010, I have dated/fvcked countless women, and have nothing to show for all of that wasted time, energy, money, nuts, etc. Nothing to show for it.

I would have MUCH rather had 1 LTR since 2010 that just ended this year or something. At least I could point back over the previous 6 years and say I had a woman who cared about me, we shared things together, etc., but for whatever reason it just fell a part. That 1 failed LTR would be more valuable in my opinion, then the HUNDREDS of dates/fvcks I've had since 2010.

 

[guru1000]

- I can call an escort to get sex. That same escort can provide "company"

This is a business transaction. I enjoy the sport; that is, I don't want somebody to just bring the "kill" to me for $500. I enjoy the chase and the kill, borne by my efforts.

- If I want children personally, I can go adopt or get a surrogate mother

Show me where I can get a HB9 surrogate mother with intelligence, and mother my children, and I'm game. This is a possibility, and I'm open to it.

Guru you are older than me. I think you are in your mid-40's correct? So you are at least 12 years older than me.

What difference does age make? You have kids here half your age who "get" it, and you still don't.

Plus your life is already fabulous as you state. So then what in the hell is the point of going through this for?

Go through any of what? I enjoy dating and fvcking new women. This is akin to saying why did you learn to hunt and go hunting for deer, when ultimately you have no need for deer. Well no shvt, but I enjoyed the hunt. It called game. Enjoy it to enjoy it; nothing else. And when it stops becoming enjoyable, then find another hobby that you enjoy.

It would be the same thing to where if AT&T cut off my wireless internet. I would be left without an internet provider (leaving a hole) and would be scrambling trying to find another provider as soon as possible (to fill the hole).

You're confused. Internet is a want, not a need. Do you need internet like you need air to breathe, or water to hydrate. Your hole is self-contrived; it is a lack of love stemming from your childhood. Your hole is only there as you created it. Now you want to take this self-contrived hole like a bucket and pass it around from girl to girl, and ask, "Can any of you girls, please fill my bucket? Please, I'm dying here." LOL!

I think the vast majority of guys here are good guys, who are traditional, who just want quality LTRs. I can tell you that the spinning plates shyt is something I fell into....it's NOT what the hell I want, it's not something I enjoy, and I honestly find it quite stupid/waste of time. Like I said, since 2010, I have dated/fvcked countless women, and have nothing to show for all of that wasted time, energy, money, nuts, etc. Nothing to show for it.

What do you want a prize for time well spent?

I would have MUCH rather had 1 LTR since 2010 that just ended this year or something. At least I could point back over the previous 6 years and say I had a woman who cared about me, we shared things together, etc., but for whatever reason it just fell a part.

I'm teary-eyed here reading this. But, you forget one rudimentary concept: The woman never truly cared about you, rather, she only cared about how well you serviced her needs. Her sharing was self-serving; not altruistic, and did not originate to help you, but rather to help her. You were just an instrument.

If you want to get into an LTR, then get into one. I'm not handcuffing you. I state simply not to bring your empty bucket to one. Fill that bucket right here, right now, and then LTR out of desire, not necessity.

 

[Steady Eddie]

I started reading this thread at page 3 or 4 and finished at about page 9 or so. Tenacity you write with clarity and understanding, but the responses or advice (if you could call it that) is vague and ill defined. Can you imagine chemists conducting scientific inquiry, among themselves, in this manner? For instance a chemical engineer wants to synthesize a compound and requires the exacts steps in which to do so. In such disciplines the why and how are vitally important. But instead of getting the formula for (say) Trimethyl Orthoformate, the engineer is given, instructions on how to make tea.
Even worse the engineer is told he should accept this against all rational thought to the contrary.

Telling anyone you have a problem brings out the worst in them. They see an opportunity to manipulate. Even if the manipulation isn't to their express purpose, it allows them to hone their skills.

The good advice on this thread has been to change your environment, or date outside your ethnicity. Changing your environment is difficult because your work and close friendships depend on your location. A way around this could be to take short breaks, in other parts of the U.S. and get an idea of those places (work related opportunities) and people (women). If not holidaying outside the U.S.
Regarding a change of ethnicity is a choice only you can make. You could always bang black women on the side, if you do decide to switch.

I spent some of my twenties believing if only I could control my mind the rest would follow. I use to meditate whenever I could. The result of this was losing the ability to critically think for myself. Which ironically is something you're being asked to give up on this thread.
My late 30's, however, has been dominated with the idea "we are what we eat".
We're chemically based organism after all.
Not so long ago I use to feel anxiety and stress. I use to panic a lot. But it took the loss of two jobs last year to eventually inspired my current mode of thinking. When I quit the second job I sat in the place I had just rented (expressly for that job), knowing I would lose the rental deposit and have to uproot and move again. I panicked so much that I barely ate anything for 3 days. But at the end of those 3 days I realised one thing. I had lost weight. I had been going to the gym for a while, doing 5 mile runs every week or so and walking to work and nothing worked to remove that weight. I'd had the weight for nearly a decade.
This inspired me to filter what I was eating. I'm a vegetarian, so that aspect of my diet won't change. But any and all processed sugar and salt has been removed entirely from my diet. I usually drink a cup of green tea a day, which relieves stress and anxiety due to it's effect on the central nervous system. I try to get as much chlorophyll as I can, to improve oxygen levels in my body.
Tao longevity breathing is another method that improves your overall well being, with immediate noticeable effects.
But what really convinced me was discovering a vitamin called K2.

This vitamin shouldn't be confused with K or K1. K2 removes calcium from your blood stream and binds it to your bones. You find it in milk and chicken breast\liver, butter etc. But since I don't drink milk (soya milk instead) and had given up on butter I was missing this from my diet.
There's a steel shutter door at work, I had difficulty opening. I would be tugging at it and using two hands with my back to the wall as leverage.
But within days of taking K2 I was able to open it with one hand, in one go. One of the fellas at work even remarked "You don't know your own strength". Luckily he hadn't seen my previous attempts.
My aggression levels have also gone through the roof.

What I'm saying is we're, all, a series of chemical equations. Add and subtract to get the desired response from yourself.

I would also add, I think you need to focus and leave women be for a while. What are you doing for financial security? When we have some form of long term security we're more comfortable with ourselves and more confident in the world around us.

 

[The Duke]

I’m a personality that likes to win, and I also like to have it my way. So its very important for me to learn ways to accomplish my goals or I’m not happy. I was pretty much clueless when I started this journey after a divorce almost 10yrs ago which is what brought me here. But with each girl I went thru, I improved myself. It took a lot of self-reflection. It took me getting out of my comfort zone. It required me to be accountable for my own actions. I exposed myself to constructive criticism. I asked a lot of questions on this forum. I read everything I could get my hands on regarding women, relationships, psychology, etc. I improved my looks and my wardrobe. I improved my bed room skills. I improved my seduction skills. I got over any fears I had. I improved my interactions with women.

Now days I’m that guy who has experienced just about every kind of girl there is. I score high in all the categories that matter to women. I’m the guy that “appears” to have it all. I do what I want. I live life on my own terms. I live out my dreams. I’ve had every thing from 1 night stands to 2-5yr long term relationships. My married friends all live vicariously through me. I have definitely matured past the point of changing girls out every 2-3months and the spinning plates crap. That life gets old and is not very satisfying for me all though I do love to conquer new girls as I am a hunter.

I too got frustrated with the type of girls I was getting at different points of my life, but when I did I dug down deep, and worked on me. As I kept improving me, I got better looking girls, and better acting girls.

I’ve learned that the best girls are reserved for the best guys. Winners attract Winners! Losers attract Losers! Women prefer men that are self-made, and have accomplished something. Women are opportunists. At the end of the day, they don’t want to help you advance your life/career, they want to ride your coat tails. Every damn one of them wants to marry me……there is a reason for that. It tells me I am doing something right.

But in order to be “that” guy, you must do what the others refuse or are too lazy to do. I used to go out 3 nights a week honing my skills, and I still made it to work at 6am the next morning. You also have to keep the right attitude about all of it. It’s a tough road to go down. Some aren’t cut out for it. You won’t get there being hard headed, lacking self-control, complaining, full of attitude, refusing to change your game, refusing to grow.

I don’t look at all the time and money spent learning women as a waste. I enjoyed every minute of it. I learned about myself, what I liked, what I didn’t from every one of those girls I was ever with. I thank each one for the opportunity to better myself. It was a huge lesson in understanding people that I benefit from while working in corporate America.

When you keep failing, you can’t just blame everybody else. You have to own your failure just like your success. Eventually you have to change your bait, and find another spot to fish.

The trophy fish require the most effort to get. They are the farthest out and in the deepest waters and require the most experience. They require bigger and better equipment to catch.

 

[Tenacity]

So I wanted to update this journal. After MUCH thought, self-reflection, etc.....I'm come to terms with my actual "issues" and decided on a path going forward.

- In a nutshell, my main issue has been the fact that I've had way too high of expectations. I've always been looking for the GIRL in my head to appear in front of me, when in reality, she doesn't exist. Since 2010 (when I became attractive), I've had a ton of women (attractive and somewhat attractive) in relation to dating, sex, and short term relationships but because they were not the GIRL in my head....I would push them away.

- I've come to the conclusion that the GIRL in my head is a cartoon, she doesn't exist.

- Thus, I'm going to settle in with the girls I've been getting and deal with the ones that I can enjoy their company the best as well as POTENTIALLY formulate something long term if it comes to that point.

- With this being said, the women I entertain going forward will be the following:

* At least solid in looks, which is HB5/HB6, this is a girl that's at least "cute". This is very important, I can't sacrifice this.

* She can have a kid or two, but I have to be able to work with the baby daddy if he's still around. I can't have her Ray Ray and Pookie baby daddy threatening my life every 5 seconds.

* Her finances can range, which means she can have bad finances. I'm just going to set the stage at the very beginning (which I have been doing anyway) that I'm NOT helping out with any car notes, rent payments, or personal expenses UNTIL we are at least deep into a serious relationship.

* She can be high maintenance.....as long as she's moving forward, fvcking me, available for me, etc.

I've come to terms that the chick I was looking for before, who was solid in looks, good finances, no kids, and not high maintenance, was just a cartoon. The reality is there is no chick that exist like that or if she exists, there's SOMETHING else wrong with her that I haven't listed yet (such as she might be bat crazy).

Where Do I Go From Here?

Where do I go from here? Well, I go into spinning the plates of the women I listed above and if I find one that I want to do something serious or legal with....I might look at creating a kid or two within the next 10 years. I don't think I will do the marriage contract thing because the system is so inefficient, but who knows, maybe that will change as I get older and if my attorney can make the entire situation iron clad.

 

[Tenacity]

Not bad, I would not compromise on the kid though

I was gonna leave those women out, but I can't lol. The reason being is that FAR too many of the HB7 and higher chicks (the really attractive chicks) I get have 1 kid already.

Now if I come to the point of marrying a chick or getting into a serious LTR, she can't have more than 1 kid for that. But I will entertain chicks with multiple kids for now to continue dating, fvcking, and doing short term relations like I have before.

 

[Tenacity]

Oh ok, I thought this was for LTRs to get you some LTR experience

Yeah what I'm going to do is the following:

- Only limit the plates to the women that fit the new criteria

- From that plate pool, I will select an LTR if it "makes sense". For any LTR or serious relationships, she can't have more than 1 kid. If I get married, I prefer there be no kids there or if there's a kid there, the kid is nearly an adult.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Yeah what I'm going to do is the following:

- Only limit the plates to the women that fit the new criteria

- From that plate pool, I will select an LTR if it "makes sense". For any LTR or serious relationships, she can't have more than 1 kid. If I get married, I prefer there be no kids there or if there's a kid there, the kid is nearly an adult.

You got a good plan man.

Now do another rant about how these black women can't resist a convicted THUG named Ray Ray who went away for 5 years after shooting Pookie.

 

[Tenacity]

You got a good plan man.

Now do another rant about how these black women can't resist a convicted THUG named Ray Ray who went away for 5 years after shooting Pookie.

- You mean a rant along the lines of how a black woman will have 5 kids.......by 5 different thugs.... who are currently locked up in 5 different prisons.......and who are also behind on their 5 monthly child support checks?

- You mean a rant along the lines of how black folks shout black lives matter when Zimmerman kills Trayvon ....but when Ray Ray does Mortal Kombat on Pookie, killing Pookie in daylight cold blood....those same black folks turn to an ostrich, put their head in the sand, and repeat proclamations of how they "didn't see shyt"?

Lol, nahhh we should save these rants for another day!

 

[BlueAlpha1]

- You mean a rant along the lines of how a black woman will have 5 kids.......by 5 different thugs.... who are currently locked up in 5 different prisons.......and who are also behind on their 5 monthly child support checks?

- You mean a rant along the lines of how black folks shout black lives matter when Zimmerman kills Trayvon ....but when Ray Ray does Mortal Kombat on Pookie, killing Pookie in daylight cold blood....those same black folks turn to an ostrich, put their head in the sand, and repeat proclamations of how they "didn't see shyt"?

Lol, nahhh we should save these rants for another day!

Please, I could go on for hours about "virtue signaling" cowards white people who will do or say anything to appear "not racist", who are actually unintentionally racist through the soft bigotry of low expectations.

And for the record, I would vote for murderer Ray Ray or Pookie's corpse over lying, crooked, unstable, condescendingly racist Shillary Clinton.

But yes, save these rants for another thread indeed. I just needed a laugh.

 

[Tenacity]

I wanted to bump this thread. Not sure if this thing is 25 pages now or what lol?

I'm happy about the journey I took since coming here. When I came here I was dealing with all sorts of internal anger, bittnerness and rage issues that were built up from my childhood to issues with women from earlier on. I was on the entire extreme Red Pill/Let's All Bash Women "kick"....which honestly just made the issues I had WORSE, not better.

But I have since gotten back into prayer, surrounded myself with more positive people (who are non business and non dating based) and it's all been helping. I am feeling much better on the inside. Much happier, more at peace, less angry, etc.


Reducing Sosuave Participation

I really WILL NOT be posting around here that often going forward. I might peek in from time to time, but I don't want the negativity and one-dimensional aspects of this place to hurt the internal growth I've had in relation to my peace/lack of anger issues.

The one-dimensional Alpha or Beta "characters", the one-dimensional Red or Blue pill theories, the women are all this or that theories, it just makes guys having issues coming from a bad environment WORSE, not better. But then to add to the fact that all of this stuff is being said by supposedly GROWN a.ss men who would never in a million years say any of this shyt to another man's face (calling him a beta fag.got) or to a woman's face (calling her a slvt/h0e) is what REALLY baffles me.

I have questioned why I was one of the few guys not anonymous on here, because the Tenacity you see here is the Tenacity you will see at a bar, a club, a lounge, anywhere. What I say on here is what I say to people in PERSON. I don't have anything to hide and I don't cower behind hidden internet profiles.

So it just dawned on me that this (Sosuave/Manosphere) is just not a place I need to be going forward if I want to KEEP the growth I've had all this time. My life is finally coming to where it's well balanced all around, I'm getting to that self-actualization stage in relation to Maslow's hierarchy of needs.


Shout Out To Aaron Clarey

The absolute BEST person I found on the Manosphere was Aaron Clarey. The BEST. Number one, he's not hiding behind any internet profiles and number two, he's BALANCED. He states that the market is destroyed where only 1 out of 100 women are marriage material, but he doesn't operate with one-dimensional theories and he TOO has called out the anonymous, hidden, fake MGTOW posters. Come to think of it, I have NEVER seen a MGTOW that wasn't hidden/anonymous. Never seen it.


Shout Out To All Who Helped

I met some great people here and I want to thank all of those for their contributions to my growth. I might stop back from time to time, but for now..........I'm mainly going to continue my life and not post as often here as I used to.