"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

I have a real confidence problem

Brighty

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 4, 2006
Messages
643
Reaction score
38
Basically I'll make this quick, but I've noticed I have the worst trouble maintaining eye contact with people when I'm talking to them. When I was in 7th grade I used the excuse to myself that I was ugly and I don't want girls thinking I'm ugly so I spent the least amount of time with eye contact possible, which I know is a juenivile thing that should've passed, but it didn't. Now, I'm a junior in Highschool, and I know I'm attractive, girls have TOLD me I'm attractive (good looking ones too) and I've noticed the hot girls are flirting with me now. I KNOW that I've really changed drastically in terms of psychical appearance, but I still for some reason for the LIFE of me am too critical about myself.

If I have a zit on my face, I'll try to hide it and think that I don't look good enough to flirt/talk with hot girls. I know that sounds incredibly pvssy, and I know it does is the sad part. I get self conscious easily about my psychical appearance which leads to the fact that I cannot maintain eye contact with a girl and I always act awkward around them because I'm always worried I may not appear attractive to them. Is there anything I could read to remedy this or exercises I could practice to build up eye contact and not be so self-conscious about myself when I know there's nothing wrong with me?

And on a more humorous (but pathetic) note: I don't have a problem maintaining eye contact with my guy friends, cause well, I'm not trying to impress them and I'm not gay, but I always was under the assumption to not have a lot of eye contact with them else it might come off as gay.

Yeah, I know, it's pathetic, but I would appreciate anyone's help on the subject.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Crayon

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2005
Messages
11
Reaction score
0
Age
42
Location
Denmark
How old are you? I think it's a very common teenage problem. Maybe you should start doing some activities that forces you out of your shell.
 

penkitten

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
8,255
Reaction score
235
Age
49
Location
at our house
here is a tip...
if you have trouble looking people in the eye, look at their nose.
they will think you are looking at their eyes, and will never know you are looking at their noses.
 

intel123

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
88
Reaction score
0
hey whats up ....


you need to reprogram your mind. just use a different story from now on if you keep thinking about it . look at her in the eye ur a man . look at ur mom in the eye same thing as looking her inthe eye.
 

comic_relief

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 29, 2004
Messages
3,282
Reaction score
49
Location
Baltimore, MD
Very simple problem to cure. Start looking at older women in the eyes. See how they react to you and then go younger and younger. Church is a very easy place to try this activity. It will take at the most four weeks to get rid of this "problem."

It is a very common problem among young DJ's like yourself.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Willis

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 3, 2007
Messages
153
Reaction score
0
and stop caring if girls find u attractive, jus do u....
and be who the hell u want 2 be
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
59
And stop saying things in the affirmative. "I have a real confidence problem" is going make you believe you are someone with a problem, you're not, you're just a normal guy learing something new.

Better to say, "I am developing more and more confidence everyday."

And quit using the word pathetic in reference to yourself. Thoughts are powerful.
 
Top