I have a problem with day game

AAAgent

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I'm here to get a kick in the a$$ from people here.

I am having trouble with day game. Lately, the only time i talk to new girls is during night time when i have some alcohol in me and since i don't go out every weekend/number close I haven't been having much success.

On top of that, i have AA. I am not scared of rejection/failure from the approach i am just scared of the approach itself.

I'm a fairly decent looking guy and am getting in a lot better shape. I'm aiming to be in good enough shape to look like a model. I'm 5'11, 180lbs, swim, run, play ball, bench, dl, and squat.

I've done a fair share of cold day approaches and failed (only between 30-50). I know exactly why i've failed which is because of my anxiety build up and i show nervousness (this then turns into creepiness). It's hard to get over the AA. I'm actually a pretty smooth guy if i don't have AA.

I actually get a rush from approaches but i haven't built that comfortability into my style.

I see a lot of opportunities but i never can break out the shell to approach.

I've been ashamed of myself lately as well or should i say disappointed.

My good friend passed away 4 years ago. I made a promise to myself and to him in his memory that I would live my life to my fullest. All the fun his missed out on in life i would enjoy for him, I would work extra hard including his portion of work in order to achieve mine and his success.

My best friend recently also brought to my attention he gets more numbers in a relationship than when i am single. He has no problem cold approaching and gets many numbers. When i thought about this about how pitiful i was that i couldn't even talk to a women when i wanted to, i felt disappointed.

I am generally a man of my word and not being able to keep my word really urks me to the point of annoyment.

I've was never that great at conquering my fears individually but i would find ways to do it. Since i could never live with letting people down i would convince my boy to talk to a girl first and if he did i would. Since he would do it, i forced myself to do it to keep my word.

I don't know how to break out of this shell and hopefully a push from you guys can get me over the edge.
 

PokerStar

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i hear you bro.

my heart races everytime i cold approach. The thought of being outcome dependant also weighs on my brain.

but then.. I think to myself "f@ck it" Lets do this. Im the man. im here to entertain myself and have a good time. So what if she rejects me, so what if she turns me down..Ive been through it before and I can deal with it.

Ill make it a point to at least get a laugh out of her and myself. If things dont work out at least you become closer to beocming comfortable in it.

thats all i can say, from the top of my head.
 
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AAAgent

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Everytime i get fed up with my AA building up, i get so pissed off that i approach with no shame. Those are the times i am most successful. Then after a while i fall back into my normal mode of AA and frustration.

It doesn't help that i get approached/ hit on/ etc. It just takes a lot of the drive you have built of from desperation.

some people see desperation as bad which it can be, but if you know how to harness that desperation which i do when i get fed up, i think it can be a powerful tool. You basically approach with i'm going to talk to this chick, if she rejects me i'll talk to the next good looking one. I don't have time to waste.

The thing is i rarely get desperate enough to the point my AA explodes on me. This AA fear is something that needs to be conquered once and for all.

weird that this is my biggest fear.

I am not scared to talk to strangers.
I am not scared of fighting.
I am not scared to stand up for myself to anyone.
I am not scared of public speaking.
I am not scared of talking to girls.


But i am scared to talk to girls i am interested.
 

PokerStar

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just picture them naked before you approach next time. if that dosnt get your creative juices flowing, then i dont know what will.
 

escaleraroyal

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Just give 100 bucks to your friend and tell him if u do 10 approaches you would get the money back else he can keep it.
 

Krazy

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I heard from more than a few pick-up expert type people (not on this thread) that it's VERY helpful to your approach method if you take some improvisation courses... I signed up for an evening improvisation course at my local community college that I'm looking will help me.
 

marmel75

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See I am in the opposite boat...I have no problem approaching and getting them smiling and laughing, its what happens after I approach where I screw up...I just seem to go blank and things fizzle out...weird cause during the day at work I talk to customers all day and am really good at it, but for whatever reason out of that environment it all leaves me...
 

Atom Smasher

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Find a glaring physical fault in her. Picture her performing normal bodily functions. Picture her with the flu and all that entails. The key to overcoming AA is to humanize them.

I've had some success in the past when I used to struggle with this by thinking of her as somebody's sister. That tends to take them off the pedestal and make them seem more normal and "everyday".

Are you making simple small-talk with women as you're out and about? I'm talking about competely non-outcome dependent conversation here. For me, this was the most effective way to overcome AA. I swore off trying to pick up girls for a while and instead made small-talk with men and women everywhere I went.

Always look your best. Show a sense of style. Know that you are dressing in a slightly superior way to your "competition". This is done mostly for you and your attitude, and secondarily for her perception of you.

Finally, before engaging with a pretty girl, remind yourself of your rightful place of authority in this world. You are a man, you OWN this particular situation, this encounter. It is yours because you are the king of your world.

Meditate on the following phrase. Chew on it for days and you will change:

"Assumed Authority"

Start chewing.
 

GameTime76

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Set small goals for yourself and make a daily journal. Say this Thursday I will just say HI to 5 hot girls I see. Then write down "I said HI to 3,5 or 8 girls today." Then push yourself to say HI to more girls. After you progress and feel more confident. Push yourself farther to start making actual conversations.

Then go back and look at your journal. How far you came and what areas to work on.

Hope this helps!
 

Chamber36

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TBH there's a bunch of different things you could do to help your day game.

What I have to say is the most important is outcome independence.

If I only want to compliment a girl, I hardly ever have AA.

I just tread lightly and let them know that I am subtle. I might spend a little while observing my target, then I approach, guaging their reaction, fine-tuning the approach to the individual girl, escalating as much as I can on the opener, but leaving her wanting a little bit more.
Friday I just did a warm up: "hey tell you're friend that I think the both of you look beautiful", and by the time I finished my sentence I was whispering in her ear.

I know that my example is from night game, but believe it or not, girls are actually easier to mack on during day-game. They don't have their calibration guage working properly during the day-time. Maybe it's because their ego's aren't inflated, but they're not on guard as much.

So my advice to you for getting rid of my AA is to just give them some compliments, real sincere ones. Maybe take some time to think about the things you appreciate about women. Whether they buy the compliment or not is another story, if you're outcome independent it doesn't matter.

You can learn how to talk to girls sexually very easily during night-game, and then when you go out during the day-time you just implement the same techniques as during night-game and the girls won't know what happened to them.

That's why I think it's good to go out on a date with a girl during the afternoon because they won't be socially warmed up as much as by night-time.
 
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