"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I hate weddings

T

thefonz

Master Don Juan
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Alright, here's the deal gumshoes and I need your help (again).....

Against my best wishes my mother has decided to marry her boyfriend of 3 years and I have to be a witness for my mother's side......they guy is a loser but that's a whole other story, I'm not gonna tell my mother who she can and can't marry and/or start drama with my family unless he becomes abusive/neglectful in ANY sense of the word. Unfortunately, he's not so the wedding is on.
My mom asked me to give a toast at her wedding and I don't know what the hell to say. I gotta come up with some funny/entertaining babble. Now not only can I not think of anything to say...I've never been to a wedding in my life and I have no clue what a typical toast sounds like. I'll hear from anyone, even the retards on this issue.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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C

Coolage

Senior Don Juan
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Honestly, your toast should be pretty short. maybe a minute or two. Something about how happy your mother is with him and best of wishes should be fine.

The best man has to give the long one.
 
T

thefonz

Master Don Juan
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thanks guys.....i can't wait to rip this bandaid off
 
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