"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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I hate this website, was happier before I found it

Kal0051

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I'm leaving this fvcking website for good. I don't see the point of it. No matter what I do I won't be good with women, not even good enough to get one woman. It's always been that way and it'll always be that way.

And I was happy before I came here, before people here convinced me that it's possible for me to get women. The fact that I still can't after being convinced is making me very unhappy so I'd prefer to just go back to accepting that it's not gonna happen.

So peace everyone :rockon:
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Cure

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you're right, you will never get any women, none at all.

But its not because you can't get women, its because you dont want it enough, you are unwilling to try. you've made over 700 posts before coming to the conclusion you've come to.

In that time, have you actually gone out and applied anything you've learned? made any changes to your life that could help improve your chances?

I doubt it, but if Im wrong and you have been applying it, you just need to stop b!tching and try harder.

Cure
 

Kal0051

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Cure said:
you're right, you will never get any women, none at all.

But its not because you can't get women, its because you dont want it enough, you are unwilling to try. you've made over 700 posts before coming to the conclusion you've come to.

In that time, have you actually gone out and applied anything you've learned? made any changes to your life that could help improve your chances?

I doubt it, but if Im wrong and you have been applying it, you just need to stop b!tching and try harder.

Cure
Yes I have been trying to apply it. I don't just sit at home and not talk to women. But it hasn't worked at all. All I get are rejection after rejection after rejection. Been rejected more since I've been on this site than all the other 24 years of my life (mainly because I made it a point of talking to and asking out women).

And don't tell me to stop *****ing. How bout you try being ignored by EVERY woman you meet. That despite your best efforts you don't get any results, no dates, not even a LJBF (instead they pretend I don't exist). That chips away slowly at your self-confidence and ego, and mine's pretty much done. If I have some results I wouldn't care as much but now I'm pissed.
 

omega05

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Kal0051 said:
Yes I have been trying to apply it. I don't just sit at home and not talk to women. But it hasn't worked at all. All I get are rejection after rejection after rejection. Been rejected more since I've been on this site than all the other 24 years of my life (mainly because I made it a point of talking to and asking out women).

And don't tell me to stop *****ing. How bout you try being ignored by EVERY woman you meet. That despite your best efforts you don't get any results, no dates, not even a LJBF (instead they pretend I don't exist). That chips away slowly at your self-confidence and ego, and mine's pretty much done. If I have some results I wouldn't care as much but now I'm pissed.
you cant really count yourself out unless you've been rejected by every women in your city or state
 

amoka

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Good for you

Kal0051 said:
I'm leaving this fvcking website for good. I don't see the point of it. No matter what I do I won't be good with women, not even good enough to get one woman. It's always been that way and it'll always be that way.

And I was happy before I came here, before people here convinced me that it's possible for me to get women. The fact that I still can't after being convinced is making me very unhappy so I'd prefer to just go back to accepting that it's not gonna happen.

So peace everyone :rockon:
Good for you. Good luck.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Desdinova

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You have a couple of problems:

1) You're placing too much importance on women. If you were really able to be happy WITHOUT the need for a woman, you wouldn't be ranting about rejection.

2) You're taking rejection too personally. Instead of using rejection to improve the way you're interacting with women, you've decided to take it at face value and let it hurt your precious feelings.

You can either give up or keep working on yourself. If you give up, you will just continue being unsuccessful with women. But if you keep working at it and try different things to see what DOES work, then at least you have a chance at being successful.
 

ENIGMA16

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You haven't understood anything here if this is your position; the entire point of being a DJ is becoming independent, learning not to make women the priority in your life and to not judge yourself based on your interactions with women. This site is meant to help people move towards that goal by giving them tools and insight on their situation.

If you are really that down about rejection then you simply haven't got it. The message that you're supposed to be getting out of rejection is that you got rejected and nothing terrible happened; that you went up to a girl and she rejected you and that you're still the same person you were before you went up to her, except now you have the ability to at least try. Instead, you're going in the opposite direction and letting your interactions with women be of paramount importance and are using every interaction you have with women as an occasion to judge yourself as a person and as a man.

And also, there are reasons that you get rejected. Sure, sometimes it's just because a girl is not going to be into you, regardless of how good your game is. But any guy can get at least some girls that won't reject them (without lowering their standards). So instead of using these moments to judge yourself as a person, you should be analyzing these situations and using them as self-criticism and reflection on where you went wrong and what you can do next time. In this sense every interaction you have with women is a success, because they all help you learn.

Your goals are messed up. Your goal is to get a girl, or **** a girl, and when you fail at this you feel like you're failing at your goals. Your goal should be improving yourself, not getting girls.
 

Kal0051

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JLay87 said:
You haven't understood anything here if this is your position; the entire point of being a DJ is becoming independent, learning not to make women the priority in your life and to not judge yourself based on your interactions with women. This site is meant to help people move towards that goal by giving them tools and insight on their situation.

If you are really that down about rejection then you simply haven't got it. The message that you're supposed to be getting out of rejection is that you got rejected and nothing terrible happened; that you went up to a girl and she rejected you and that you're still the same person you were before you went up to her, except now you have the ability to at least try. Instead, you're going in the opposite direction and letting your interactions with women be of paramount importance and are using every interaction you have with women as an occasion to judge yourself as a person and as a man.

And also, there are reasons that you get rejected. Sure, sometimes it's just because a girl is not going to be into you, regardless of how good your game is. But any guy can get at least some girls that won't reject them (without lowering their standards). So instead of using these moments to judge yourself as a person, you should be analyzing these situations and using them as self-criticism and reflection on where you went wrong and what you can do next time. In this sense every interaction you have with women is a success, because they all help you learn.

Your goals are messed up. Your goal is to get a girl, or **** a girl, and when you fail at this you feel like you're failing at your goals. Your goal should be improving yourself, not getting girls.
I am improving myself, I have been doing that for years. And in a year or so I'll be done with my short term goal, which is to finish my second degree and start my career. I'm not doing that to get women, I'm doing it for myself.

But at the same time I've never been good with women. Sure, I've slept with a couple of girls but that was just because they were drunk. The same girls rejected me once they sobered up. So yes, I am making getting a girl a goal, I won't achieve it otherwise.

And as for your comment about any guy can get some girls, well I can't. So there goes that theory of yours. I don't judge myself because I'm getting rejected, it just pisses me off that no girl likes me. I still think I'm a good guy and I like my life and myself. But I'm tired of being made fun of because I can't get a date or always being the third wheel. That's why I joined this site. I know what I want out of life and how to get there so I'm not here for self improvement. The part of my life I needed help with is my inability to be successful with girls.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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ENIGMA16

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And as for your comment about any guy can get some girls, well I can't. So there goes that theory of yours.
Yes you can. It's not about who you are, it's about what you're doing. You need to work on your game. There's nothing inherent within you that makes it so you can't get women. That's what you believe and that is completely wrong.
 

Kal0051

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JLay87 said:
Yes you can. It's not about who you are, it's about what you're doing. You need to work on your game. There's nothing inherent within you that makes it so you can't get women. That's what you believe and that is completely wrong.
so why are women so turned off by me and don't even want to be friends with me? It's not like I'm being LJBFed, these girls are pretending I don't exist.

Edit: I can't post anymore. But I've given plenty of information about my problems with women over the last year (and I posted one recently, look it up). So far none of the advice has worked. The closest I've gotten is coffee with one girl then she cut off all contact, ignoring my calls, texts, and she even blocked me on facebook. I've given enough info here, and while there are a couple people that tried to help (even though their advice didn't work), most of the other people on here just said "you have no game" with no follow up advice (not helpful). So if you have advice I haven't tried already then maybe I'll give it a try but I'm not trying the same old things expecting different results.
 

ENIGMA16

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so why are women so turned off by me and don't even want to be friends with me? It's not like I'm being LJBFed, these girls are pretending I don't exist.
Well it's obviously something you're doing or a vibe that you're giving off. Other than that we can't really help without more information.
 

Cherokee

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Desdinova said it right. I'm not gonna point fingers, cos so many people are quick to say "this is your problem", when really its a lot simpler. All this website has done, is open your eyes to the truth, unfortunately that truth has messed up your vision of reality. When someone's vision of their own reality is disturbed, it creates a profound resonating effect in your mind. What is true? what is false? but instead of discovering the new reality you've chosen to return back to the dark! where is the adventure in that?.

You can get women, anyone can. The quality of the women you wish to achieve depends highly on your effort and perseverance. Quitters never win, it's cliché, but christ its true. So the choice is yours my friend, you can go back to the dark, sit in your room and twiddle your thumbs and wonder WTF happened? Or you can take it on the chin, not give a damn about how those around you are progressing and take it in your stride.

It really does depend on how much you want it. Period.
 

BigWillyStyle

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so why are women so turned off by me and don't even want to be friends with me? It's not like I'm being LJBFed, these girls are pretending I don't exist.
Perhaps you lack social skills? Do you have guy friends?

The closest I've gotten is coffee with one girl then she cut off all contact, ignoring my calls, texts, and she even blocked me on facebook.
Perhaps you came off as 'creepy' on the coffee date. I doubt mere sexual disinterest in you would make her do all that. (Again, a lack of social skills could have caused you to come off this way [i.e., creepy].)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Warrior74

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It sounds like you have a problem with your social skills, if you can get a girl on a coffee date, a chic you like, you must look decent enough for her. So the problem is how you acted, how you treated her. Do you recall what you said? And how you said it? What did you talk about? How did the convo go?

You need to be posting field reports and asking people you respect on here for help.
 

Blood Angel

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Warrior74 said:
It sounds like you have a problem with your social skills, if you can get a girl on a coffee date, a chic you like, you must look decent enough for her. So the problem is how you acted, how you treated her. Do you recall what you said? And how you said it? What did you talk about? How did the convo go?

You need to be posting field reports and asking people you respect on here for help.
^ This.

I personally struggle a lot with the same stuff that the OP is describing and this is how I'm going about fixing it. Take Warrior's advice. Keep at it and be sure to post frequent Field Reports.
 

thecurtainfalls

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You have a very defeatist attitude and obviously low self esteem.

I can guarantee this is filtering into your interactions with women. It's very unattractive. As much as it might feel good to go around feeling sorry for yourself like this, it's absolutely pathetic and I'm not surprised that this mindset isn't enabling you to get any girls.

As a couple others said, you're probably not hideous - you got a couple coffee dates and whatnot. That's the good news. Your game is fixable. The bad news is that your personality is probably pretty bad to have a girl BLOCK you on Facebook after a coffee date.

My first reaction is to try and list some of the outer game stuff that you probably did wrong at this coffee date, but it's pointless because your inner game is shattered right now and you're caught in a cycle of feeling sorry for yourself.

When you're ready to man up and continue the fight, ask some of us for help with an open mind, a steel resolve, and none of this self-pity BS.
 

Tyson420

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She BLOCKED you?

Can you tell us what you said the coffee date? Must have been some pretty ****ed up ****.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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