I had a flirt session the other day. Ran into her again today. What to make of her behavior?

[GoodMan32]

You are NOT as good-looking as you THINK you are . Trust me..

You remind me of my incel homie who also hides behind diagnoses and what's not. Sometimes I suspect you are him, no joke. I simply gave up on trying to "convert " him. He is too stubborn and scared to change.

You have no idea what's it like to sleep with a hot woman who YOU like and who simultaneously wants nobody but you. Its the best in the world and completely different from taking what you can get.

A (hot) woman wants the following cliches:
- a good-looking well groomed man with a decent to good body.

- a man who has some money

- a man who is social

just a simple meat -and - potato -type of summary. But..its equally important as the 1-2 jab in boxing. The BASICS is where it at bro.

Most men will die without ever being able to fix those three ( or even just one)and thus never experience what's it like to have great sex with a hot woman who wants to eat you alive. You as a man have the duty to CREATE this.

your next thread should be without any sob story and onky containing questions about how to progress.

With my age preferences alone, I'm unlikely to get with a conventionally hot woman.

Incidentally though, I have 2 of the 3 things you mentioned.

-Good-looking, well-groomed, decent body (Yeah, I'm skinny...still better than fat. Plus, my profile picture shows impressive definition on my biceps for a man as skinny as me)

-Money (I mentioned on a past post that I have a decent amount in savings, despite my low income, because I have low overhead)

You know what though? Even a "take what I can get" scenario would be a major step up over what I have now (I haven't been on a date, other than speed dating events, in nearly a year and a half. I haven't had non-escort sex in almost 4 years)

 

[GoodMan32]

Steps 1 & 2 will need to be combined with proper mental health care. That really hasn't happened yet.

Anything he does before Steps 1 & 2 listed above and proper mental health care are not going to work.

@BackInTheGame78 has said that fixing his mindset is the #1 priority and @BeExcellent has said that anything before mental health care and muscle building at the gym is putting the cart before the horse. Both of these posters are respected posters who have added a lot of value to this forum over time.

There's a general consensus among forum posters about the steps forward.

Past experience is worth a lot (studying history can help shape the future)

If I got some degree of success in my early 20s while skinny and mentally ill, why can't I succeed in spite of those qualities now?

My early 20s prove I can succeed without going to the gym or addressing my mental health.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

With my age preferences alone, I'm unlikely to get with a conventionally hot woman.

Incidentally though, I have 2 of the 3 things you mentioned.

-Good-looking, well-groomed, decent body (Yeah, I'm skinny...still better than fat. Plus, my profile picture shows impressive definition on my biceps for a man as skinny as me)

-Money (I mentioned on a past post that I have a decent amount in savings, despite my low income, because I have low overhead)

You know what though? Even a "take what I can get" scenario would be a major step up over what I have now (I haven't been on a date, other than speed dating events, in nearly a year and a half. I haven't had non-escort sex in almost 4 years)

Snowbird grannies are in AZ this time of year, OP

 

[BPH]

My appearance is highly relevant.

With how good my looks are, I really shouldn't face as many problems as I do in getting a woman.

My guy...you are not good-looking.

You're only a few years older than me and shaped like a pear. Let's be real for a moment.

I'm not trying to be mean here but you are delusional beyond belief.

EDIT: Here, shut up and go do this for a few months: https://startingstrength.com/get-started/programs

 

[Clockwerk50]

Steps 1 & 2 will need to be combined with proper mental health care. That really hasn't happened yet.

Anything he does before Steps 1 & 2 listed above and proper mental health care are not going to work.

@BackInTheGame78 has said that fixing his mindset is the #1 priority and @BeExcellent has said that anything before mental health care and muscle building at the gym is putting the cart before the horse. Both of these posters are respected posters who have added a lot of value to this forum over time.

There's a general consensus among forum posters about the steps forward.

I believe the frustration with both the group members and @GoodMan32 stems from an assumption that @GoodMan32 has read literature on the "dating game" and doesn’t understand the instincts that drive behavior in both genders. However, he hasn’t read these materials, and as a result, he lacks the foundational knowledge required to understand what it takes for a woman to be interested in him. His dating perspective is primarily based on personal experience, which leads to frustration and defensiveness when it doesn’t align with the broader insights presented in these books.

In order to meet the standards of the 10% threshold and follow women’s hypergamy, as shown in the chart below, @gooman32 needs to focus on his physical appearance and fitness, since he is not yet there physically and doesn’t look like a reality tv dating star (also pictured below how he look like). I’ve recommended several resources, including the Red Pill Sidebar, The Book of Pook, and The Rational Male, which could provide valuable insights.

A bit of background on @GoodMan32, while maintaining confidentiality: he mentioned that he was banned from a well-known forum before joining this one. Since joining here, he claims to have made some progress. I’m unsure of the specific focus of that forum, but it seems that a lot of his challenges may be rooted in social integration and fitting in, possibly linked to autism. Hopefully, if he reads these books and commits to improving his physical fitness, he’ll see better results here in our “community”.

https://theredarchive.com/TheRedPill%20Sidebar%20-%20A5%20-%20Sans%20Serif.pdf

The Book of Pook

Website version of The Book of Pook, along with audio. Understand women and learn why they do what they do, why they are how they are. No, they aren't complicated. Inner game, red pill, truth.

bookofpook.com

The Rational Male Rollo Tomassi : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

The Rational Male is a rational and pragmatic approach to intergender dynamics and the social and psychological underpinnings of intergender relations. The...

archive.org

 

[GoodMan32]

My guy...you are not good-looking.

You're only a few years older than me and shaped like a pear. Let's be real for a moment.

I'm not trying to be mean here but you are delusional beyond belief.

EDIT: Here, shut up and go do this for a few months: https://startingstrength.com/get-started/programs

You only know what my body looks like. You have no idea what I look like facially.

A picture I took the other day scored in the 7's on the AI rater (That's impressive. It's typically only my younger selfies, age 27 and below, that score in the 7's)

 

[Clockwerk50]

You only know what my body looks like. You have no idea what I look like facially.

A picture I took the other day scored in the 7's on the AI rater (That's impressive. It's typically only my younger selfies, age 27 and below, that score in the 7's)

With all due respect, your face is not a 7. The AI lying to you if this is indeed true.

 

[BPH]

You only know what my body looks like. You have no idea what I look like facially.

A picture I took the other day scored in the 7's on the AI rater (That's impressive. It's typically only my younger selfies, age 27 and below, that score in the 7's)

It's really amazing how you focus on the part of the message that matters the least in an effort to keep the conversation going rather than doing anything that requires you to take action.

 

[GoodMan32]

It's really amazing how you focus on the part of the message that matters the least in an effort to keep the conversation going rather than doing anything that requires you to take action.

Yeah, I know you recommended I work out. Lots of posters have made that recommendation.

The fact I've never stuck with a workout regimen should tell you something.

 

[BPH]

Yeah, I know you recommended I work out. Lots of posters have made that recommendation.

The fact I've never stuck with a workout regimen should tell you something.

Yeah, it tells me you'd rather talk about your problems than do something about them.

So why don't you stick with it for once and stop b****ing and moaning when you're being forcefed the right answer by multiple people.

EDIT:

What pisses me off about you is that you've been given 5-10 pages of advice each time you post, and yet you refuse to take it. People are wasting their time on you, rather than somebody who might actually listen and do something with the help they're receiving. But you just keep bringing up the past and coming up with excuses, even yourself saying you want a "cheat code".

@BeExcellent 's husband has autism, as she's mentioned, and yet he's still doing great with the ladies. Do you think that just HAPPENED? I would wager he goes to the gym, he probably dresses well, and he probably puts out the most attractive version of himself that he can. DO THAT SH**.

 

[Gamisch]

Yeah, I know you recommended I work out. Lots of posters have made that recommendation.

The fact I've never stuck with a workout regimen should tell you something.

Then we can conclude that you are barking against the wrong tree ,right? You are not at the right forum.

I am a fitness junkie. I might be overdoing it because I'm addicted to working out and I also teach boxing. Side effect is that it makes me stand out from other men.

The best comment I've read on reddit was a woman saying that (in Miami I believe) a man CANNOT afford to NOT hit the gym anymore. Always stuck with me.

What's the point of asking advice if you refuse to follow up? Please answer this question. You DON'T really want it. Queen B is here. Ask her if you dont believe me; getting a woman ( your biggest struggle) is the easy part. Keeping a woman on the other hand..that's an art.

You first gotta unlock the privilege of playing along. You are not even allowed to be aat the party because you dont look the part. That alone will take you a year. You are 11 days behind already. Just throw the towel and use your time more efficiently bruh.

 

[GoodMan32]

Yeah, it tells me you'd rather talk about your problems than do something about them.

So why don't you stick with it for once and stop b****ing and moaning when you're being forcefed the right answer by multiple people.

EDIT:

What pisses me off about you is that you've been given 5-10 pages of advice each time you post, and yet you refuse to take it. People are wasting their time on you, rather than somebody who might actually listen and do something with the help they're receiving. But you just keep bringing up the past and coming up with excuses, even yourself saying you want a "cheat code".

@BeExcellent 's husband has autism, as she's mentioned, and yet he's still doing great with the ladies. Do you think that just HAPPENED? I would wager he goes to the gym, he probably dresses well, and he probably puts out the most attractive version of himself that he can. DO THAT SH**.

Working out isn't for me. That's why I've never stuck with a workout regimen.

While it might appear I disregard a lot of the advice I'm given, I've made many baby steps that never would have happened if it weren't for the support I've gotten on this forum.

As for the cheat code, let's include the full context: I (per my own admission) found a cheat code in college. So I know cheat codes exist. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to find a 2025 cheat code (to replace my now-outdated 2012 cheat code)

Regarding BeExcellent's husband, she's said he's a musician. Being a musician comes with a massive amount of sex appeal. The music thing alone is probably the single biggest factor that gets him lots of attention from the ladies.

There's a vid of a performance on YouTube where a female fan in the audience of a Boys Like Girls show is holding a giant sign "Will you marry me, Martin?" (In reference to Martin Johnson, the vocalist of the band Boys Like Girls)

Here's Martin Johnson. Not a hideous-looking guy. But if it weren't for his guitar and microphone, I guarantee the girl in the audience would never give him the time of day. And he's only one example. In general, lots of female fans throw panties on stage at men they'd never be into if it weren't for the fact the man is a musician.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

What pisses me off about you is that you've been given 5-10 pages of advice each time you post, and yet you refuse to take it.

He's not here for advice.

He's here to get validation that his problems aren't his fault and there's nothing he can do about them.

Every time anybody gives him advice, he flips it around for yet another reason why it's not his fault he can't get any ladies.

 

[GoodMan32]

Then we can conclude that you are barking against the wrong tree ,right? You are not at the right forum.

I am a fitness junkie. I might be overdoing it because I'm addicted to working out and I also teach boxing. Side effect is that it makes me stand out from other men.

The best comment I've read on reddit was a woman saying that (in Miami I believe) a man CANNOT afford to NOT hit the gym anymore. Always stuck with me.

What's the point of asking advice if you refuse to follow up? Please answer this question. You DON'T really want it. Queen B is here. Ask her if you dont believe me; getting a woman ( your biggest struggle) is the easy part. Keeping a woman on the other hand..that's an art.

You first gotta unlock the privilege of playing along. You are not even allowed to be aat the party because you dont look the part. That alone will take you a year. You are 11 days behind already. Just throw the towel and use your time more efficiently bruh.

This isn't exclusively a fitness forum.

For reference, I'm 20 pounds heavier than I was 3 years ago. Even though I haven't done a whole lot of working out in the past 3 years, I'm at a much healthier weight than I was 3 years ago (3 years ago, I looked downright anorexic)

I currently weigh in the upper 130s. The most I've ever weighed was in the upper 140s. 3 years ago, I dipped below 120.

As I mentioned on my last post, I've taken baby steps, even if it appears I've dismissed a lot of advice.

Additionally, here's what you don't know: I've had productive DM discussions with various posters (I won't elaborate on who or what, as it's none of your business)

Keeping a woman is even harder for me than getting a woman by the way.

 

[GoodMan32]

He's not here for advice.

He's here to get validation that his problems aren't his fault and there's nothing he can do about them.

Every time anybody gives him advice, he flips it around for yet another reason why it's not his fault he can't get any ladies.

Can't get any ladies?

Umm, I've had 9 non-escort partners.

 

[BPH]

He's not here for advice.

He's here to get validation that his problems aren't his fault and there's nothing he can do about them.

Every time anybody gives him advice, he flips it around for yet another reason why it's not his fault he can't get any ladies.

Yeah, I'm done wasting my time on this.

 

[Clockwerk50]

He's not here for advice.

He's here to get validation that his problems aren't his fault and there's nothing he can do about them.

Every time anybody gives him advice, he flips it around for yet another reason why it's not his fault he can't get any ladies.

Like I mentioned before, it seems like he’s more focused on seeking validation for his frustrations rather than genuinely working on self-improvement. I think his behavior is about more than just struggling with women—there’s likely deeper stuff, like unresolved trauma or insecurities, that he hasn’t addressed.

If it wasn’t this board, he’d likely be on another forum with a different focus—whether it’s writing, fitness, or career—complaining about how he can’t succeed in that area. It seems like he’s looking for a space where he can fit in by venting about his struggles, rather than addressing the root cause of his issues.

As for the resources I provided, he said he is open to reading them, but whether he actually follows through is another story. Our framework—covering women’s hypergamy, AWALT, **** tests, agree and amplify, and so on—requires a baseline of understanding and a willingness to apply it. Without that foundation, I’m not sure how far he’ll get. If he’s serious, he’ll dive in, but if not, he’ll likely find reasons to dismiss it.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Yeah, I'm done wasting my time on this.

Maybe he needs a time out together himself to go to the gym or complete the readings.

 

[SW15]

As for the resources I provided, he said he is open to reading them, but whether he actually follows through is another story. Our framework—covering women’s hypergamy, AWALT, **** tests, agree and amplify, and so on—requires a baseline of understanding and a willingness to apply it. Without that foundation, I’m not sure how far he’ll get. If he’s serious, he’ll dive in, but if not, he’ll likely find reasons to dismiss it.

While I have never read The Book of Pook in its entirety, I can endorse The Rational Male. Even though The Rational Male was published in 2013, it is still very relevant in the mid-2020s.

 

[GoodMan32]

Like I mentioned before, it seems like he’s more focused on seeking validation for his frustrations rather than genuinely working on self-improvement. I think his behavior is about more than just struggling with women—there’s likely deeper stuff, like unresolved trauma or insecurities, that he hasn’t addressed.

If it wasn’t this board, he’d likely be on another forum with a different focus—whether it’s writing, fitness, or career—complaining about how he can’t succeed in that area. It seems like he’s looking for a space where he can fit in by venting about his struggles, rather than addressing the root cause of his issues.

As for the resources I provided, he said he is open to reading them, but whether he actually follows through is another story. Our framework—covering women’s hypergamy, AWALT, **** tests, agree and amplify, and so on—requires a baseline of understanding and a willingness to apply it. Without that foundation, I’m not sure how far he’ll get. If he’s serious, he’ll dive in, but if not, he’ll likely find reasons to dismiss it.

I've touched upon a lot of my insecurities on the forum (and I genuinely appreciate the resources you shared, I'm going to bookmark those resources)