"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I guess eventually you just have to break down and play their game

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Bigdavis

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I never liked playing games. I'm one of those guys that just wants to have a steady girlfriend. One that i want to spend time with and she wants to spend time with me. But it seems like every time I get a girl and she seems crazy about me after a few months she always starts to flake.

Example: I've been dating this girl since before the holidays for the first several weeks she was absolutely crazy about me. Wanted me to spend the weekend at her place, wanted me to come to her family gathering for Christmas, etc. But the last two weeks when I try to make plans to see her she's just kinda "blah" about it. Like when I asked her if she wanted to get together this weekend she said "I dunno we'll have to see"... We all know what that means.

So now I've just got to ignore her for a while, start seeing some of my other girls and meet new chicks etc. But what burns me up is that girls (this one included) always act like they want a relationship with a good guy that treats them right and they want a guy to be committed to them and then when they get it they don't want it anymore.

She made me wait a couple of weeks for sex and her reasoning was "I'm bad with relationships so I want to try waiting this time" or something like that. I'm pretty sure her "bad luck" with relationships has nothing to do with having sex too early...

I know how the game works, I know how to play the game, and I'm going to play it... I just don't want to have to.

Sorry for the rant.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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everywomanshero

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O man, I think you're in this thing deeper than you think.

Being forced to play the game? I don't think women want to loose their feelings for a guy, it just happens. Same for guys, not being horny for a girl anymore sucks when she's otherwise perfect.

But the thing is, sexual attraction isn't usually logical. People can be attracted to married women, dangerous men, hookers, jobless losers, etc. None of this makes great logical sense. None of these people are the correct logical choice to mate with. Yet, men and women all over the world find themselves sexually attracted to all sorts of poor choices. It doesn't make them bad people anymore than those who choose logic over emotion/arousal are good people. It's just different.

After a while the same ol same ol gets monotonous anyway. Sooner or later, IMO, you probably would've got tired of her and prowled on the side anyway. Your game is just being accelerated now. Better to have many great STRs than stuck in one miserable LTR.
 
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comic_relief

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everywomanshero said:
Your game is just being accelerated now. Better to have many great STRs than stuck in one miserable LTR.
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I love that quote everywomanshero.

comic_relief
 
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KontrollerX

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Yeah the game sickens me too but the only way to win is to play better than your opponent.
 
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swifTy

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I love that quote everywomanshero.
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i like the whole post. :up:

its a smart, mature and realistic way to look at it.

and the truth. :D
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Bigdavis

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Well she called me tonight with the old "It's not really working out" talk... She says she feels like we're two totally different people. I'm 25 and have my career going and she just turned 21 and still in college. She thinks I'm wanting more of a serious relationship than she is.

I think it's all bull****, if I was still giving her the warm fuzzies like I was in the beginning she'd still be dying to see me all the time. She's just giving me excuses.

I don't know why i'm sitting here on a saturday night bummed about it though. When I look at this picture of us together I honestly think that I'm out of her league anyway so I can't figure out why I feel so bad about it.

 
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swifTy

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dont chase her whateva you do. she'll run even further.

are you in shape? that might make her hot for you again. and if not, it'll help with the next one. win win.
 
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KontrollerX

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Yeah thats a fat chick and an ug big davis.

You can do far better than her.

Think you made a post a while back about you losing a ton of weight so no more need for you to settle for second best brother.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Bigdavis

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Yeah I lost over a hundred pounds last year but for some reason I still feel like HB's are out of my league. This chick is an UG but she's still way prettier than anyone I would have gotten when I was 400 lbs so I was happy with her.

Right now I'm thinking if I can't even get an UG3 to be crazy about me how will i ever get an HB?
 
A

Answers

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Bigdavis said:
Yeah I lost over a hundred pounds last year but for some reason I still feel like HB's are out of my league. This chick is an UG but she's still way prettier than anyone I would have gotten when I was 400 lbs so I was happy with her.

Right now I'm thinking if I can't even get an UG3 to be crazy about me how will i ever get an HB?
Click to expand...
You'll get nobody to love you if you don't love yourself first...
 
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royaltyw

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I never liked playing games. I'm one of those guys that just wants to have a steady girlfriend. One that i want to spend time with and she wants to spend time with me. But it seems like every time I get a girl and she seems crazy about me after a few months she always starts to flake.

It looks like the problem resides on your end. The relationships grow stale and they loose interest.

You have to keep that attraction level up...
 
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AqVe

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actually having sex early on can ruin the relationship, unless it's a ONS. Either the guy, or the girl got bored and move on to their next target.
 
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AqVe

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Wolf said:
Your right, your way out of her league, she's about 10 below you.
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lol I agree on this, dude you're a good looking guy. Maybe her personality shines, but looks wise, you can do better. Unless in your area, this girl's look is in the top. Cuz for sure in my area, she is not what I consider attractive lol. But again different people, different taste.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

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Bigdavis

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Nope there are hotter babes everywhere and ones who live much closer than she does (30 mins from me)

In fact last night I had 5 hotties standing around my table at this bar chatting me up and yet in the back of my mind i was still a little bummed. I have no idea why...
 
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Bigdavis

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I need to listen to you guys more often! I wenrt out tonight and had 3 super hotties all over me at this bar. Things were going so well I decided I just needed to disappear whil I was ahead. I'm still a little drunk. I did get number closes though :rockon:
 
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DonJuan11

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Bigdavis said:
I never liked playing games. I'm one of those guys that just wants to have a steady girlfriend. One that i want to spend time with and she wants to spend time with me. But it seems like every time I get a girl and she seems crazy about me after a few months she always starts to flake.

I know how the game works, I know how to play the game, and I'm going to play it... I just don't want to have to.
Click to expand...
Girls have shorter attention spans that people with ADD. If you don't constantly entertain them, they will walk out on your show and go see another show. That's why girls are flaking on you. You are getting boring for them.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.
 
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DonJuan11

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Bigdavis said:
I never liked playing games. I'm one of those guys that just wants to have a steady girlfriend. One that i want to spend time with and she wants to spend time with me. But it seems like every time I get a girl and she seems crazy about me after a few months she always starts to flake.

I know how the game works, I know how to play the game, and I'm going to play it... I just don't want to have to.
Click to expand...
Girls have shorter attention spans that people with ADD. If you don't constantly entertain them, they will walk out on your show and go see another show. That's why girls are flaking on you. You are getting boring for them.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.
 
D

drak_ool

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Bigdavis said:
Right now I'm thinking if I can't even get an UG3 to be crazy about me how will i ever get an HB?
Click to expand...
that s the WRONG attitude brother! if you don't believe in your own value no woman will. you can mask your insecurity but it will come out sooner or later and the chicks will be running for the hills.

btw that chick is ugly and fat, you look like you could do a lot better
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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