"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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I guess eventually you just have to break down and play their game

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Bigdavis

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I never liked playing games. I'm one of those guys that just wants to have a steady girlfriend. One that i want to spend time with and she wants to spend time with me. But it seems like every time I get a girl and she seems crazy about me after a few months she always starts to flake.

Example: I've been dating this girl since before the holidays for the first several weeks she was absolutely crazy about me. Wanted me to spend the weekend at her place, wanted me to come to her family gathering for Christmas, etc. But the last two weeks when I try to make plans to see her she's just kinda "blah" about it. Like when I asked her if she wanted to get together this weekend she said "I dunno we'll have to see"... We all know what that means.

So now I've just got to ignore her for a while, start seeing some of my other girls and meet new chicks etc. But what burns me up is that girls (this one included) always act like they want a relationship with a good guy that treats them right and they want a guy to be committed to them and then when they get it they don't want it anymore.

She made me wait a couple of weeks for sex and her reasoning was "I'm bad with relationships so I want to try waiting this time" or something like that. I'm pretty sure her "bad luck" with relationships has nothing to do with having sex too early...

I know how the game works, I know how to play the game, and I'm going to play it... I just don't want to have to.

Sorry for the rant.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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everywomanshero

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O man, I think you're in this thing deeper than you think.

Being forced to play the game? I don't think women want to loose their feelings for a guy, it just happens. Same for guys, not being horny for a girl anymore sucks when she's otherwise perfect.

But the thing is, sexual attraction isn't usually logical. People can be attracted to married women, dangerous men, hookers, jobless losers, etc. None of this makes great logical sense. None of these people are the correct logical choice to mate with. Yet, men and women all over the world find themselves sexually attracted to all sorts of poor choices. It doesn't make them bad people anymore than those who choose logic over emotion/arousal are good people. It's just different.

After a while the same ol same ol gets monotonous anyway. Sooner or later, IMO, you probably would've got tired of her and prowled on the side anyway. Your game is just being accelerated now. Better to have many great STRs than stuck in one miserable LTR.
 
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comic_relief

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everywomanshero said:
Your game is just being accelerated now. Better to have many great STRs than stuck in one miserable LTR.
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I love that quote everywomanshero.

comic_relief
 
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KontrollerX

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Yeah the game sickens me too but the only way to win is to play better than your opponent.
 
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swifTy

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I love that quote everywomanshero.
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i like the whole post. :up:

its a smart, mature and realistic way to look at it.

and the truth. :D
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Bigdavis

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Well she called me tonight with the old "It's not really working out" talk... She says she feels like we're two totally different people. I'm 25 and have my career going and she just turned 21 and still in college. She thinks I'm wanting more of a serious relationship than she is.

I think it's all bull****, if I was still giving her the warm fuzzies like I was in the beginning she'd still be dying to see me all the time. She's just giving me excuses.

I don't know why i'm sitting here on a saturday night bummed about it though. When I look at this picture of us together I honestly think that I'm out of her league anyway so I can't figure out why I feel so bad about it.

 
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swifTy

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dont chase her whateva you do. she'll run even further.

are you in shape? that might make her hot for you again. and if not, it'll help with the next one. win win.
 
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KontrollerX

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Yeah thats a fat chick and an ug big davis.

You can do far better than her.

Think you made a post a while back about you losing a ton of weight so no more need for you to settle for second best brother.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Bigdavis

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Yeah I lost over a hundred pounds last year but for some reason I still feel like HB's are out of my league. This chick is an UG but she's still way prettier than anyone I would have gotten when I was 400 lbs so I was happy with her.

Right now I'm thinking if I can't even get an UG3 to be crazy about me how will i ever get an HB?
 
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Answers

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Bigdavis said:
Yeah I lost over a hundred pounds last year but for some reason I still feel like HB's are out of my league. This chick is an UG but she's still way prettier than anyone I would have gotten when I was 400 lbs so I was happy with her.

Right now I'm thinking if I can't even get an UG3 to be crazy about me how will i ever get an HB?
Click to expand...
You'll get nobody to love you if you don't love yourself first...
 
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royaltyw

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I never liked playing games. I'm one of those guys that just wants to have a steady girlfriend. One that i want to spend time with and she wants to spend time with me. But it seems like every time I get a girl and she seems crazy about me after a few months she always starts to flake.

It looks like the problem resides on your end. The relationships grow stale and they loose interest.

You have to keep that attraction level up...
 
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AqVe

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actually having sex early on can ruin the relationship, unless it's a ONS. Either the guy, or the girl got bored and move on to their next target.
 
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AqVe

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Wolf said:
Your right, your way out of her league, she's about 10 below you.
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lol I agree on this, dude you're a good looking guy. Maybe her personality shines, but looks wise, you can do better. Unless in your area, this girl's look is in the top. Cuz for sure in my area, she is not what I consider attractive lol. But again different people, different taste.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Bigdavis

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Nope there are hotter babes everywhere and ones who live much closer than she does (30 mins from me)

In fact last night I had 5 hotties standing around my table at this bar chatting me up and yet in the back of my mind i was still a little bummed. I have no idea why...
 
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Bigdavis

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I need to listen to you guys more often! I wenrt out tonight and had 3 super hotties all over me at this bar. Things were going so well I decided I just needed to disappear whil I was ahead. I'm still a little drunk. I did get number closes though :rockon:
 
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DonJuan11

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Bigdavis said:
I never liked playing games. I'm one of those guys that just wants to have a steady girlfriend. One that i want to spend time with and she wants to spend time with me. But it seems like every time I get a girl and she seems crazy about me after a few months she always starts to flake.

I know how the game works, I know how to play the game, and I'm going to play it... I just don't want to have to.
Click to expand...
Girls have shorter attention spans that people with ADD. If you don't constantly entertain them, they will walk out on your show and go see another show. That's why girls are flaking on you. You are getting boring for them.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.
 
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DonJuan11

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Bigdavis said:
I never liked playing games. I'm one of those guys that just wants to have a steady girlfriend. One that i want to spend time with and she wants to spend time with me. But it seems like every time I get a girl and she seems crazy about me after a few months she always starts to flake.

I know how the game works, I know how to play the game, and I'm going to play it... I just don't want to have to.
Click to expand...
Girls have shorter attention spans that people with ADD. If you don't constantly entertain them, they will walk out on your show and go see another show. That's why girls are flaking on you. You are getting boring for them.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.
 
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drak_ool

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Bigdavis said:
Right now I'm thinking if I can't even get an UG3 to be crazy about me how will i ever get an HB?
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that s the WRONG attitude brother! if you don't believe in your own value no woman will. you can mask your insecurity but it will come out sooner or later and the chicks will be running for the hills.

btw that chick is ugly and fat, you look like you could do a lot better
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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