"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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I got stood up...seriously???

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yesman

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Ok, hate all you want but I met this girl online who just moved to my city from across the country. She moved because of a teaching job, she's 22 and I'm 23. Anyhow, we had planned to do something tonight (get drinks or something) and she was going to call me after her work/training at 6:00-ish. An hour and a half later (7:30) I text her to see if we're still on and she says "I'm sooo exhausted what does your weekend look like?"

Now, my time is valuable and I planned on spending some time tonight with her. I don't appreciate girls wasting my time like this. Do I give her another chance or ditch her for good? What do you think?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Bluntmaster

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That's not "standing you up" you drama queen. Standing you up is when you are waiting for her and she doesn't show after you made definite plans.
 
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yesman

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Without going into too much detail it was pretty definite, the only factor was she didn't know exactly what time she would be free (ie sometime between 6 and 630).

Anyways...yea maybe I'm over reacting but I could have been working tonight instead of waiting around to get drinks with some girl.

Maybe once you're in the real world you'll understand how making plans works. I never cancel on people for anything or any reason under 24 hours unless it's something totally unavoidable or an emergency. Real world my friend...
 
T

Trader

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yesman said:
Ok, hate all you want
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Dude, no one is hating on you, chill out

yesman said:
but I met this girl online who just moved to my city from across the country. She moved because of a teaching job, she's 22 and I'm 23. Anyhow, we had planned to do something tonight (get drinks or something) and she was going to call me after her work/training at 6:00-ish. An hour and a half later (7:30) I text her to see if we're still on and she says "I'm sooo exhausted what does your weekend look like?"

Now, my time is valuable and I planned on spending some time tonight with her. I don't appreciate girls wasting my time like this. Do I give her another chance or ditch her for good? What do you think?
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You didn't get stood up, she just forget about you plain and simple.

The bottom line is, her interest in you is low, makes sense since you met her online. No surprises here.
 
B

Bluntmaster

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yesman said:
Without going into too much detail it was pretty definite, the only factor was she didn't know exactly what time she would be free (ie sometime between 6 and 630).

Anyways...yea maybe I'm over reacting but I could have been working tonight instead of waiting around to get drinks with some girl.

Maybe once you're in the real world you'll understand how making plans works. I never cancel on people for anything or any reason under 24 hours unless it's something totally unavoidable or an emergency. Real world my friend...
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Did you get her to agree to a time and place?

NEVER just leave it at "let's do something".. Always set a time and place and get her to agree to it.

If you don't do that, it's poor game.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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yesman

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True, this is my mistake no doubt. Either I didn't generate enough interest, didn't decide on exact plans, whatever. I'm a firm believer in making things happen not waiting for things to happen. My mistake.

But anyhow, the decision at this point is should I give it another try or forget about her?
 
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Bluntmaster

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yesman said:
True, this is my mistake no doubt. Either I didn't generate enough interest, didn't decide on exact plans, whatever. I'm a firm believer in making things happen not waiting for things to happen. My mistake.

But anyhow, the decision at this point is should I give it another try or forget about her?
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Oh yeah, the WORST mistake you made was leaving it up to her to call you after work.

Never ever tell her to call you.

It depends. What did you say to her when she said she is tired?

Just call her in a couple days and tell her to meet you at a place and time.
 
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yesman

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Bluntmaster said:
Just call her in a couple days and tell her to meet you at a place and time.
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This sounds good. I said I'm going to a bike race and to let me know if she wants to come. If she does, she does. If not, she's not interested.
 
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Bluntmaster

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yesman said:
This sounds good. I said I'm going to a bike race and to let me know if she wants to come. If she does, she does. If not, she's not interested.
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You are doing it again.

Didn't I just say NEVER leave it up to the girl to let you know anything?
 
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KingofHearts

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yesman said:
Without going into too much detail it was pretty definite, the only factor was she didn't know exactly what time she would be free (ie sometime between 6 and 630).

Anyways...yea maybe I'm over reacting but I could have been working tonight instead of waiting around to get drinks with some girl.

Maybe once you're in the real world you'll understand how making plans works. I never cancel on people for anything or any reason under 24 hours unless it's something totally unavoidable or an emergency. Real world my friend...
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oh man I hate that - the best you can do to maintain some control in a situation like that is to set the time way later than the time she expects to get out of work. At least then the time and location is firm. I do the same if my work schedule is hazy like that so it goes both ways.

Once you don't give a **** about women though, then you make them adjust to your schedule or you just find another plate that does. Or you go by yourself and have a good time anyway. Its amazing how flexible a woman's schedule is once there's a possibility she might not see you at all!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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KingofHearts

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yesman said:
This sounds good. I said I'm going to a bike race and to let me know if she wants to come. If she does, she does. If not, she's not interested.
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its better but not quite there. you need to set a firm time and location. Girls are so flaky (interest or no interest) that if you leave it up to them, it will never happen. Or you end up at the movies seeing a chick flick.

Every once in a while I leave plans up to a woman I've been seeing (not on the first time though) just to f- around and see what happens - they hate it. And they acknowledge that I'm the one that should make the plans from there on.

It comes with the territory of being a guy. I love it though. At least this way I don't get stuck doing stuff I don't want to do.

This really puts guys to the test. If you're just "dating" for the sake of seeing a girl, it will show in your boring dates. But if you're doing it Pook style and "bringing her into your world", then setting up and going on dates is a piece of cake. You would be going to the same places and doing the same things even if she wasn't there. Then its just a matter of picking her up on the way!
 
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Zarky

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forget about her and find other women. You can't recover from this. Even if she was interested, if you let her do something like this to you without punishment she will lose all interest in you.

The ONLY way she can get you back is to make a major apology and ask you out. Remain open to that but don't initiate anything and date other women.

Date other women.
Date other women.

Rule Number One: date as many women as you can
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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