"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I got stood up...seriously???

Y

yesman

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Ok, hate all you want but I met this girl online who just moved to my city from across the country. She moved because of a teaching job, she's 22 and I'm 23. Anyhow, we had planned to do something tonight (get drinks or something) and she was going to call me after her work/training at 6:00-ish. An hour and a half later (7:30) I text her to see if we're still on and she says "I'm sooo exhausted what does your weekend look like?"

Now, my time is valuable and I planned on spending some time tonight with her. I don't appreciate girls wasting my time like this. Do I give her another chance or ditch her for good? What do you think?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Bluntmaster

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That's not "standing you up" you drama queen. Standing you up is when you are waiting for her and she doesn't show after you made definite plans.
 
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yesman

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Without going into too much detail it was pretty definite, the only factor was she didn't know exactly what time she would be free (ie sometime between 6 and 630).

Anyways...yea maybe I'm over reacting but I could have been working tonight instead of waiting around to get drinks with some girl.

Maybe once you're in the real world you'll understand how making plans works. I never cancel on people for anything or any reason under 24 hours unless it's something totally unavoidable or an emergency. Real world my friend...
 
T

Trader

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yesman said:
Ok, hate all you want
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Dude, no one is hating on you, chill out

yesman said:
but I met this girl online who just moved to my city from across the country. She moved because of a teaching job, she's 22 and I'm 23. Anyhow, we had planned to do something tonight (get drinks or something) and she was going to call me after her work/training at 6:00-ish. An hour and a half later (7:30) I text her to see if we're still on and she says "I'm sooo exhausted what does your weekend look like?"

Now, my time is valuable and I planned on spending some time tonight with her. I don't appreciate girls wasting my time like this. Do I give her another chance or ditch her for good? What do you think?
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You didn't get stood up, she just forget about you plain and simple.

The bottom line is, her interest in you is low, makes sense since you met her online. No surprises here.
 
B

Bluntmaster

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yesman said:
Without going into too much detail it was pretty definite, the only factor was she didn't know exactly what time she would be free (ie sometime between 6 and 630).

Anyways...yea maybe I'm over reacting but I could have been working tonight instead of waiting around to get drinks with some girl.

Maybe once you're in the real world you'll understand how making plans works. I never cancel on people for anything or any reason under 24 hours unless it's something totally unavoidable or an emergency. Real world my friend...
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Did you get her to agree to a time and place?

NEVER just leave it at "let's do something".. Always set a time and place and get her to agree to it.

If you don't do that, it's poor game.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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yesman

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True, this is my mistake no doubt. Either I didn't generate enough interest, didn't decide on exact plans, whatever. I'm a firm believer in making things happen not waiting for things to happen. My mistake.

But anyhow, the decision at this point is should I give it another try or forget about her?
 
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Bluntmaster

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yesman said:
True, this is my mistake no doubt. Either I didn't generate enough interest, didn't decide on exact plans, whatever. I'm a firm believer in making things happen not waiting for things to happen. My mistake.

But anyhow, the decision at this point is should I give it another try or forget about her?
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Oh yeah, the WORST mistake you made was leaving it up to her to call you after work.

Never ever tell her to call you.

It depends. What did you say to her when she said she is tired?

Just call her in a couple days and tell her to meet you at a place and time.
 
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yesman

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Bluntmaster said:
Just call her in a couple days and tell her to meet you at a place and time.
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This sounds good. I said I'm going to a bike race and to let me know if she wants to come. If she does, she does. If not, she's not interested.
 
B

Bluntmaster

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yesman said:
This sounds good. I said I'm going to a bike race and to let me know if she wants to come. If she does, she does. If not, she's not interested.
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You are doing it again.

Didn't I just say NEVER leave it up to the girl to let you know anything?
 
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KingofHearts

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yesman said:
Without going into too much detail it was pretty definite, the only factor was she didn't know exactly what time she would be free (ie sometime between 6 and 630).

Anyways...yea maybe I'm over reacting but I could have been working tonight instead of waiting around to get drinks with some girl.

Maybe once you're in the real world you'll understand how making plans works. I never cancel on people for anything or any reason under 24 hours unless it's something totally unavoidable or an emergency. Real world my friend...
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oh man I hate that - the best you can do to maintain some control in a situation like that is to set the time way later than the time she expects to get out of work. At least then the time and location is firm. I do the same if my work schedule is hazy like that so it goes both ways.

Once you don't give a **** about women though, then you make them adjust to your schedule or you just find another plate that does. Or you go by yourself and have a good time anyway. Its amazing how flexible a woman's schedule is once there's a possibility she might not see you at all!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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KingofHearts

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yesman said:
This sounds good. I said I'm going to a bike race and to let me know if she wants to come. If she does, she does. If not, she's not interested.
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its better but not quite there. you need to set a firm time and location. Girls are so flaky (interest or no interest) that if you leave it up to them, it will never happen. Or you end up at the movies seeing a chick flick.

Every once in a while I leave plans up to a woman I've been seeing (not on the first time though) just to f- around and see what happens - they hate it. And they acknowledge that I'm the one that should make the plans from there on.

It comes with the territory of being a guy. I love it though. At least this way I don't get stuck doing stuff I don't want to do.

This really puts guys to the test. If you're just "dating" for the sake of seeing a girl, it will show in your boring dates. But if you're doing it Pook style and "bringing her into your world", then setting up and going on dates is a piece of cake. You would be going to the same places and doing the same things even if she wasn't there. Then its just a matter of picking her up on the way!
 
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forget about her and find other women. You can't recover from this. Even if she was interested, if you let her do something like this to you without punishment she will lose all interest in you.

The ONLY way she can get you back is to make a major apology and ask you out. Remain open to that but don't initiate anything and date other women.

Date other women.
Date other women.

Rule Number One: date as many women as you can
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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