I got played

[Cinamon]

Sorry it's a long one.

I went on a few dates with this guy in august and we had a laugh, then he bacame a bit clingy and I told him I couldn't see him much in Ramadhan, and we should have a break and in that time if he meets someone he likes he can hook up with her and we can call it a day otherwise we can see where we are after Ramadhan is over. So Ramadhan finished and he was still single so we went on another date. Before our next date I had an accident and ended up in hospital and was out of action for 6 weeks or so. He was rather attentive, thoughtful, occassionally got wound up that I couldn't go out with him, but he kept me company.
We lost touch for a while and he contacted me again in start of december. He did the whole I couldn't forget you blah blah routine, and I kind of felt like I owed him something. So on Christmas eve he cooked me a meal and I put out. We were at it for good few hours and then he dropped me home.

That was Thursday evening and it is Sunday evening now and I haven't heard from him at all. He usually calls or texts several times a day, so this is really odd. I think for him this was revenge sex, cause as he was pounding away he said why did you make me wait so long, make me beg for it.

I'm not bothered if he doesn't contact me again, he isn't a big loss, I just feel so stupid I didn't see this coming. I still have so much to learn.

 

[SchoolBoy]

Beware of "nice guys" like him...

From your post, it doesn't look like you're very into him at all; so what's the loss? You had your fun and he had his. I don't see a problem unless you're looking to have a relationship with this guy.

Next time you shouldn't sex someone because you feel like you owe them something, do it because you feel like it.

As for him, maybe he wasn't looking for a relationship, just a fling.

-SchoolBoy​

 

[Ease]

I laughed at this. You had sex on thursday and its sunday and he still hasnt called... omg wow... that prick..... lol

Your interest level in him isnt very high, but he's still pulled some last minute game on you and its worked.

 

[iqqi]

Seems like you had unwarranted expectations of him.

If you feel your expectations were warranted, then explore why you felt that way.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Sorry it's a long one.

You're overcomplicating this, but you're a girl so that's to be expected and absolutely normal. It's good to see you posting this.

I see a guy who has issues about getting close to a woman emotionally, no big deal. That's much better than him glomming on. He's flip-flopping a bit and it's likely he's not calling because of this. He's push-pulling in a way you would if you felt you were getting into something that you feared yet wanted at the same time. That's all it looks like from what you wrote. {----- that's all I have to go on

He's being cold (****ish a bit), and then he's being sensitive/caring. It's not plotting-like intentionally. If that were the case, he'd be emotionally lifting you much higher and slamming you down quite a bit more hard. He's just getting close, distant, close, distant. (again, from what you posted)

As far as revenge sex, that's a girl thing, men have sex because they want sex. Girls, as you know, have sex for many complicated differing reasons and punishing someone who has hurt them is one of them. Men don't plan on being nice to a girl, taking care of her in some ways when she's been in an accident, make dinner on xmas, screw her, and then think "haha, my master plan became fruitful, I showed that biatch and made her feel a lot of pain by dumping her on her ass after tapping it, this is the best Christmas ever mwahahahaha!".

That's silly.

I'm not bothered if he doesn't contact me again

Heh, riiiiight. I've been around the block too many times to believe that. You're in pain and are waiting for him to call.

As far as his dirty talk, most guys are just really bad at it and get instructed by other guys for the most part. The ones that have friends that are girls who talk about what they like are the ones that have a "leg up" (heh) on it. It sounded like he was saying "i've been waiting and wanting this/you" and trying to make it sound sexy.

Like I said, it doesn't seem like anything sinister is going on. And, if you've read any of my posts I won't hold back if I see red flags popping up.

Anyway, right now there's most likely two people staring at phones wondering what to do and what the other persons is thinking/doing/what's going on.

That's my take.

PS: Guys, this is why you HAVE to call a girl the next day after first sex when dating. If you do not, she's going to be like this and putting everything under a microscope and looking for reasons to not like you and protect herself. Almost all of them automatically do this, it's built-in. If he had have called, and just said "hi, blah blah, got stuff to do, call ya *smack*" for 2 minutes this thread wouldn't even be here. Some guys are also under the impression this shows you're not needy and it builds attraction, NO IT DOES NOT IN THIS TYPE OF SITUATION. She'll likely be crying and angry and feeling stupid and used while she's lying there in bed trying to go to sleep.

 

[Joe Stud]

Wow, we have some talented and perceptive DJ's here. I have to say they covered it all Cin. The only other thing I can add is this: Ask yourself how much do you really care about this guy. Are you really mad/ hurt because he didn't care to call, or because you feel as though you have lost control of the frame?

 

[Ease]

She'll likely be crying and angry and feeling stupid and used while she's lying there in bed trying to go to sleep.

That's called high interest.

You think she'll ever flake on you or step a foot out of line now?

This is exactly why you dont call her sometimes. It's good game.

 

[zekko]

He did the whole I couldn't forget you blah blah routine

I find it interesting that this worked. This seems to be the type of line that would be classified as "beta" or AFC around here. But he apparently touched some feelings in you so it worked. I guess there are times when you CAN get mushy.

 

[r0cky]

maybe you werent that good in the sack. Everything is possible.

 

[Falcon25]

What we instructed him to do worked! Your interest, and guilt, are climbing. He has you feeding off his hand now. Good job young lad.

 

[Falcon25]

And you had sex out of wedlock as a Muslim girl. Hope your dad doesn't read this.....haha

 

[Falcon25]

You also may have too much sauce on the taco............Odor or bad sex turns off men. Just check around, see if everything is ok. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO GIRLS WHO PUT OUT RIGHT AWAY> LEARN.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

I find it interesting that this worked. This seems to be the type of line that would be classified as "beta" or AFC around here. But he apparently touched some feelings in you so it worked. I guess there are times when you CAN get mushy.

Sure it does. James Bond does that, just with good timing. There's a part in almost every movie where he does what looks like AFC stuff but it's got style.

People get too far into "i've got to be a bad-ass not caring guy all the time and teach that biatch respect". Instead, take the good parts of "nice guy" weld them with the good parts of the "jerk" and you've got:

The James Bond Prototype

 

[scribblec]

And you had sex out of wedlock as a Muslim girl. Hope your dad doesn't read this.....haha

this was my first thought when i read this topic u wait till ramadan is over so you can just go **** him anyway? maybe thats gods way of punishing u

 

[Alle_Gory]

Or maybe he realized you're not his kind of girl.

 

[Falcon25]

Why practice Ramadan if you are just going to go back to your ways after Ramadan is over? haha This is what I don't understand about the Muslim guys and gals. Some only practice "during holy days". But once that lunar calendar strikes 12.....Let's fuvk! haha Seems hypocritical and gives the religion a bad name, especially from a female. Just don't practice if you do this sort of stuff. The fact you practice Ramadan, and do this, is more of a sin than if you didn't. Very, very hypocritical. You shouldn't even use the fact that he was "pounding away" and the words Ramadan in the same sentence. It makes you unattractive when I read about you. Find a man who will pursue you for more than six weeks and prove to you that he deserves you. Or, this happens. But hey, I'm new here, so what do I know.

 

[scribblec]

Why practice Ramadan if you are just going to go back to your ways after Ramadan is over? haha This is what I don't understand about the Muslim guys and gals. Some only practice "during holy days". But once that lunar calendar strikes 12.....Let's fuvk! haha Seems hypocritical and gives the religion a bad name, especially from a female. Just don't practice if you do this sort of stuff. The fact you practice Ramadan, and do this, is more of a sin than if you didn't. Very, very hypocritical. You shouldn't even use the fact that he was "pounding away" and the words Ramadan in the same sentence. It makes you unattractive when I read about you. Find a man who will pursue you for more than six weeks and prove to you that he deserves you. Or, this happens. But hey, I'm new here, so what do I know.

you seem to know quite a bit :rock:

 

[jophil28]

PS: Guys, this is why you HAVE to call a girl the next day after first sex when dating. If you do not, she's going to be like this and putting everything under a microscope and looking for reasons to not like you and protect herself. Almost all of them automatically do this, it's built-in. If he had have called, and just said "hi, blah blah, got stuff to do, call ya *smack*" for 2 minutes this thread wouldn't even be here. Some guys are also under the impression this shows you're not needy and it builds attraction, NO IT DOES NOT IN THIS TYPE OF SITUATION. She'll likely be crying and angry and feeling stupid and used while she's lying there in bed trying to go to sleep.

Excellent advice ^^
Calling the next day after you have sex with a woman will INTENSIFY her attraction towards you because it signals to her that you are not a ONS and she made a wise emotional choice in sleeping with you.

From my experience, she will be eager for more.

 

[Ease]

You think cinamon would have made this thread if he hadn't disappeared for a few days?

You think she would be thinking about him at all?

Nope. He would be the needy guy that was very sweet and visited in hospital, whom she slept with because she felt she owed him something, but it didnt work out and they weren't meant to be. LJBF

Attraction will intensify when she wants a deep connection with you and wants to feel special together, like in a relationship. In this situation she had low interest already and she knows this guy isn't the man of her dreams because he already failed all the **** tests. When in doubt, use assh*le-game.

 

[shortie]

Why practice Ramadan if you are just going to go back to your ways after Ramadan is over? haha This is what I don't understand about the Muslim guys and gals. Some only practice "during holy days". But once that lunar calendar strikes 12.....Let's fuvk! haha Seems hypocritical and gives the religion a bad name, especially from a female. Just don't practice if you do this sort of stuff. The fact you practice Ramadan, and do this, is more of a sin than if you didn't. Very, very hypocritical. You shouldn't even use the fact that he was "pounding away" and the words Ramadan in the same sentence. It makes you unattractive when I read about you. Find a man who will pursue you for more than six weeks and prove to you that he deserves you. Or, this happens. But hey, I'm new here, so what do I know.

yeah i dont understand the necessity to refer to Ramadan here either. but hey im here too so what do i know.