I got a real problem with people not answering me in time, and then I make bad descisions.

[Zero_to_hero]

Hi! I have this thing happening, that if I write some girl in whatsapp, often times they read a message and answer me only coupple of hours later and that is making me really frusthrated, and what ends up happening is, I get overwhelmed and make bad descisions.

Like Today, I got a planned pool date with this chick at 6pm. Yesterday I had awesome time with friends, and went home only in 4am. On the way home, I had such a relaxed mood I tought i dont want to be playing pool but to sit in sun and drink some coctails with her instead, so I wrote her in 4 am explaining the change of plans (knowing this would be the 1st message she reads in the morning).

Today, she read the message in 8am, and at 2pm still no answer (we got planned date at 6pm), so I end up writing to her :"Hey, are we still doing the new plan? This wont be boring coffee date, you can even bring your dog with you, because a lot of people at this place do. Or will you flake on me? (one eyebrow raised emoji)."

I know this might be some weak ****, but I just hate when people change plans or don't respond to me in a decent time. Knowing I really cant play it cool, because I am very impulsive, I gotta ask, how do I avoid this kind of stuff in future? Do I tell them, that I really hate this stuff very early on? Or It was ok to ask, what is happening, if it is 4 hours before date and still no response?

 

[backseatjuan]

It’s not about the girl, it’s about you. Saying that to a girl you never met screams desperate. You should really read book of pook and understand it. I’m read it 10th time and each time it’s something new.

If you dream of fcking her on the beach be smart about it and live your dream.

Poor girl had guy not sleep whole night dreaming of fcking her. You are not alone, she is running from zombies, and zombies scream, let’s fck, blow job, coffee and fck, fck fck fck.

 

[Julian]

im the same way

it sucks because its jsut a bs game...trust me bro when you find a chick who DOESNT do this to you ever...then you have a keeper as long as shes not malicious in any type of ways.

the respectful thing would be for her to have msgd u back with a "that sounds good!". am i right? but alot of people not just females dont respect that anymore.

so now u sent a followup text and still no response lol now u feel even dumber. so heres what i do to avoid that...ill send whatever text i want impulsively and if they dont respond i text "HELLOOOOO"

it conveys everything you need short and sweet without coming off too desperate. speaking of desperate you invest too early and you are using txting like it was the AOL days. that sh1t dont fly anymore. fill your life with so much meaningful activity that its hard for YOU to respond to messages because of all the things going on. thats a major key. otherwise ur just sitting there waiting for someone else basing your happiness on that and wasting your time energy and emotion

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You need to learn to control your emotions. Women don't want to date men who can't control their emotions and will throw temper tantrums and become insecure for no reason. Your issue will have repercussions all over your life, not just women. So focus on fixing that first, to improve yourself. Learn to be chill, and get control of your emotions instead of letting your emotions control you. Only then are you going to have luck with women. Your asking her if she's going to flake on you , along with re-checking with her is cringe-worthy. It shows the wrong mindset and broadcasts low value...... A guy desperate to get a date and just hoping like hell that she agrees to it, then suggests she's going to flake because that's something that commonly happens to him.

 

[Medina]

Or will you flake on me? (one eyebrow raised emoji)."

Damn son

 

[marmel75]

Lol...trust us you are doing her a favor by writing that now so she doesn't have to deal with your weak behaviour at all and can not waste her time on a date.

 

[Zero_to_hero]

Point taken!

The thing is, i had met her before, and we had a good time on our 1st date. She gave me bj, but I think I might have ****ed this one up now tho.

The thing is, I am super busy, and I dont want to be workaholic without a girl in my life, and because my free time is so limited, I want to fill it up.

I guess I need something in my life to blow off some steam, because I am too stressed, and when I get stressed, it has ****ed all my previous relationships, because I do some stupid **** like this.

Just for information: She asked me, if we can meet in 8pm instead of 6, I answer "Actually this would be way fucoing better. Today is 'fun' workday. See you at 8pm"

After 15 min she writes to me, that something has come up, and she wont make it, asking, can we reshedule.

I answer: "In that case, you will need to make it up to me How is your shedule, when we could have longer date? " (because her work shedule is not 9to5 and changes all the time).

Now thinking, I should just said ok, and reach out to her in couple of days.

 

[sosousage]

happens all time with femoids, theyre testing u this way, if u forgive them it means u r beta,if u block them it means alpha

 

[Zero_to_hero]

Just an update:
She wrote to me, that she does not know her shedule, but offered to meet Tomorrow. Because Tomorrow logistics is bad, I spinned it like this:

"Actually, I feel stressed out at work, and for me it would be better to take a run Today and Tomorrow evenings, just to keep my sanity. But me and my friend are going to Bachata entry leson event on Wednesday. If you want to learn some sexy moves, You can join ".

I think this was the best thing I could have done, giving the situation. Any thoughts?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Again you communicate you don't have control of your emotions by saying you are too stressed from work.

 

[Zero_to_hero]

Again you communicate you don't have control of your emotions by saying you are too stressed from work.

Sht! You're right. For a future refference, how would you had replayed?

I was thinking, because I was comming off as needy, I should show, that i wouldnt just pick the next possibility that she throws at me, to communicate, that i have my interests and she is not that important, and by inviting her to the dance event with my friends, I would show, that I have a social circle and do interesting stuff regardless (that I actually do).

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You have the right ideas but are implementing them wrong.

Social proof: Good to communicate but I suggest never doing a group date. I wouldn't bring a girl around my friends unless things were getting serious. You can convey social proof by telling her what you did last weekend, or through social media etc. Dates are for seducing her. If you are a social god, and the king of your social group, you can invite her to group events. Otherwise don't.

Not accepting her initial offer and providing a different time is ok, but only if she is being flakey or trying to take the reigns and control the venue or day/time in a sort of arm-wrestling match with you. If you are trying to correct neediness, all you needed to do was say, "I can't do Tuesday, how about Thursday?" No sense in explaining why you can't do Tuesday, let her wonder, and certainly don't tell her it's because you'd rather go for a run or wash your grandmother's hair or whatever. Also no need to tell her you are on the edge of sanity. You do seem a bit high strung and impulsive.... Have you considered meditation?

 

[Alvafe]

slow down kid.

first you make a plan you stick to it, changing plans because now you are feeling diferently, looks like a woman thinking.

try to never mix a new girl with you friends, you only mix up when things get serious

you should also undertand one little thing, msgs are not high priority, when things need to happen fast then you call, you send a msg then you wait, you shouldn't be looking on your cell each 5 min anyway, make sure you take a pause, I normally don't even bother to look at my cell if not during lunch or when it a really a slow day on work, when i'm at home I don't even bother much

 

[Roober]

I would suggest you lay off dating for a little bit until you kill that little demon of desperation that is ruining your experiences with women.

 

[marmel75]

This girl has you jumping through so many hoops your feet aren't even touching the ground anymore...

 

[Zero_to_hero]

Guys, thanks for all the replays. Actually helped me to get my head straight.

About the jumping hoops thing - I totally am, because I never thought, I could attract someone this hot.

Can someone, please, spell out for me one last thing - why is mixing friends such a bad idea? For example as for this event - its a public FB event, where people go, couples or singles, and learn some dance moves. There is partner rotation every 2 minutes.

The way I see it, I tell my buddy, to bounce after the event, and during the event I would demonstrate, that other girls would like me, because I know I could make the laugh easily, and she would see, that other girls would be interested in me as well. When I dance with her in the rotation, I would add in a kiss to a dip. After event is over, we can have a drink, and go to other place "to try out new moves". I will not be able to take it to sex because of logistics, but I atleast can make her really horny, like I did the previous date.

And still I offered by thinking, there is a very small possibility she would actually go.