I get rejected at the Gym

[sazc]

Lol why are you personalizing this behavior? Did you actually look at the time she has left and see that she cut her workout short? Or are you making assumptions?

As long as you're not being creepy, this isn't about you.

Are you being creepy?

 

[sazc]

Reading replies. My position is that it's better to make any move at all, even if it's perceived as creepy, so long as there is a social intent, than to just be immersed in tech.

It also really becomes a question as to whether I have the power to stop someone from doing their work-out routine by going on an adjacent machine. As far as rejections go, that has got to be pretty cool. Think of it, someone has to go out of their way to avoid a chance that you might cough a "hi" at them, talk to them, or just feel perturbed you are working out next to them, that they stop their work-out AND leave the Gym. That has got to be a reverse power-rush. I wonder if women will risk their lives and run through traffic to avoid me too. This could get interesting if you look at it.

On the other spectrum is this, not everything is about me. However, I think that's naive because it's obvious why I'm going next to her. Normally when I approach a woman and exercise next to her, I still put on the Tablet with the headphones on and don't actually approach her. The intent is still to watch TV next to her while working out and see how she will behave.

Reading this reply, it's quite possible that you ARE coming across as creepy.

That said, women will flock AWAY from you if you are being creepy. As long as you are, as you have admitted, okay with this tactic as an approach, why are you on here complaining about the outcome/their behavior?

 

[illstep]

just keep hitting the numbers game until you come across one that thinks you're handsome (and that's the one that you'll bang)

Same for all of us lol

 

[corrector]

Have you ever gotten rejected at the gym... ON WEED?

I have no clue what frequency you're operating on, but you are out of touch with reality. You're obsessed with somehow projecting a facade of who you are and women see right thru it, because they can tell it's an act. I assume you also want the women to see exactly what it is you're watching on your tablet so she'll spark up a conversation too? you're passive af.

It worked once before. A teenage girl working at Macdonald commented that I was looking at Stranger Things on Netflix and that was her favorite show. However, that not how women normally behave as they are normally caught up in their own world.

 

[corrector]

Reading this reply, it's quite possible that you ARE coming across as creepy.

What aspect of the reply sounds "creepy" to you? Other posters have commented on the idea of picking a threadmill adjacent to hers when other threadmills are available is creepy in and of itself. You seem to think otherwise and said I was "personalizing" her behaviour and reading a rejection into it that wasn't actually there. So, how would that post change things from "personalizing" to it actually being creepy and rejection?

That said, women will flock AWAY from you if you are being creepy. As long as you are, as you have admitted, okay with this tactic as an approach, why are you on here complaining about the outcome/their behavior?

Women as in plural? These are single, intended to be under-the-radar approaches. I don't intend to approach the SAME woman that way again (i.e. assuming the consensus here qualifies that even as an approach as it appears to be too passive assuming the Tablet is a draw for a lady to look at and comment on the programming, etc...).

 

[corrector]

just keep hitting the numbers game until you come across one that thinks you're handsome (and that's the one that you'll bang)

Same for all of us lol

Does approaches like that count as a "number's game"? You would validate this as a passive approach? Or, better yet, does her leaving validate the approach. (i.e. if she didn't leave, but none of us talked to each other either, would that still be an approach at that point? The fact she left, means a rejection OR "something" occurred enough for people to acknowledge and post about this being creepy, etc.... which then sounds like an approach in principle).

You see if this is true, then this comes like an easy approach to get the numbers up. I can't think of an easier approach in a setting and "whatever" type of rejection. You just have to go next to one lady who doesn't leave as soon as you are next to her to get the right number.

 

[corrector]

Well, imagine a 6 foot long bench, and a woman is sitting on one side, and the rest is free, and you come by and sit right next to her.

Now imagine a public bathroom with 6 urinals, guy is taking a piss in the corner, and you go and take a piss in the urinal right next to him.

That's unfair. You can't compare a same sex scenario to an opposite sex scenario because I'm not gay.

That's called creepy.

No. That's called gay.

If there are other treadmills available, take them instead. Generally 1 over is good enough, but if you can do 2 over that's even better. If you're right next to her, and there are other treadmills available, and given they are not sht or broken, that is creepy. But if you are one or two over, that's normal, and if she leaves that's her mental issues. If all treadmills are taken except one next to her, that's totally normal to use it, and it would be inappropriate for her to leave.

That is how I am intuitively because I'm afraid to take social risks and that would be a comfort zone. You don't have to explain what a comfort-zone is to me.

Generally, women are no different than men, and if her reaction looks like she creeped out, it's probably because you are acting creepy, either that or you smell.

Women are worlds apart different from men, how do you figure they are no different? I don't have a face contact with the lady to guage her reaction, therefore, I can just assume she's creeped out. What I do know is she left not long after I went on the threadmill. I don't actually make eye contact or look at the girl, except maybe a glance look quickly when she's not looking at me. Remember, I'm just choosing a machine next to hers. I have to half-blank her out of my mind and put on a Tablet quickly to even get my mind off of the fact that that feels like a risky move in and of itself because you feel that burn, you feel that pressure in your soul when you go next to a woman like that. That's when it's not a normal work-out but a challenge of sorts.

 

[corrector]

The girl looks like this singer on the video:

The short girl singing. I've seen her a number of times at the Gym before and wanted to approach her. Does she look hot to you?

 

[corrector]

I know. Play the above worship music videos on the Tablet next to her and ask her if that is her, lol!

 

[Epic Days]

Imo this is the opposite of assume attraction



You are assuming rejection.

Not a good mindset.

Good one @lamath. Of course it’s the way he thinks. In fact that belief will get women to leave the next time too.

 

[Atom Smasher]

OP, important question. How's your hygiene? Does your gym wear smell? If your answer is "No", are you 100% sure? Breath?

These things can make them run away from you like rabbits.

 

[corrector]

Instead of creeping up next to them you should simply make eye contact, smile, and say "hi." Believe it or not: they can work wonders prior to your "approaching" them.

I'm sure if that was a possible option then it would have been done before. Obviously having such a "creepy style" approach is because I probably would not approach PERIOD except for some compromised approach. It just won't happen.

I don't think it's possible to make eye-contact and smile most of the time. There is a two-fold problem. On the woman's end, I already tend to feel ignored or non-verbally rejected in a way where eye-contact and smile is not really possible. Saying hi, usually feels like saying hi to a wall, a strained attempt at best with the hope more than my echo bounces back. On my end, if a lady looks at me while I'm walking, I tend to tense up and avoid eye contact with her since I feel intense pressure to perform socially but usually don't feel ready to do anything. Just too hard on the nerves.

But you have to do more than just make contact and say hello. Most women will NOT remove their headphones the entire time they're in the gym because they know this device gives them all the power that the bittch shield can afford.

Simply pointing your finger at your ear will almost always get them to remove the headphones (I suspect very few guys at gyms realize how important it is for women to remove their headphones...instant frame if she takes them off for you).

How would you make contact and say hello in the first place, if she has her headphones on?

Engage in a 2-3 minute conversation at the most. Time constraint. You're there to train and work hard, but of course you can make a minute or two for a hottie if she reciprocates your eye contact-smile-hello.

I have the opposite problem. Extending any conversation beyond initial contact beyond 30 seconds would be something. I don't talk much in the first place.

 

[corrector]

OP, important question. How's your hygiene? Does your gym wear smell? If your answer is "No", are you 100% sure? Breath?

These things can make them run away from you like rabbits.

Hygiene is great. Clothes washed regularly. Breath is taken care of, visit dentist regularly. I am 100% sure.

There are no tangibles here apart from trying on pheromones. But then again, if I were that desperate, I probably would have tried them.

 

[backseatjuan]

Picture a girl laying on the beach belly down with her bra off, catching some sun. Volley ball rolls by her, she stands up, picks it up, and throws it back into the field. Next thing, couple dozen balls are thrown at her from all the dudes on the beach. If girl don't block your lame advances, she'd be in trouble at the gym because there are eyes everywhere.

Truth is tho, there are different levels of man, there are average looking men, and there are spartan gods. If you had body of Jeff Cavaliere and alpha presence to match it, chances are she'd submit to her fate. But since you are average, she has no interest. That don't mean you can't get laid, you just have to approach properly. What you are doing is weird as fck. Next time you see guy on treadmill alone, go ahead and take treadmill right next to him, see his reaction.

To greatly reduce rejection, look for signals before you approach a girl.

 

[corrector]

Next time you see guy on treadmill alone, go ahead and take treadmill right next to him, see his reaction.

Again, I am not gay so I'm not going to approach guys like I'm approaching women. The core-spirit is not the same. When you are dead to something, then it has no reaction with you. You can not get a reaction from stabbing a corpse. The approach will not be the same so it would never be a valid test.

If you want to make a point that I will listen to, then it's better you simply advise an uglier or older woman. The core-spirit would at least still on, but at a lower level than a hot woman. I mean volume low vs high is a better understanding than volume off.

If what other posters are saying are true, then it's obvious that the girl next to me must be picking up a very hungry vibe and is getting creeped out or something like that. Maybe it's something more than just going physically next to them.

To greatly reduce rejection, look for signals before you approach a girl.

I could also eliminate rejection completely if I never approach anyone. You could also get false signals. Some women could give you IOIs, but once you approach get cold on you. Either way, for this type of approach, the woman is on a threadmill with headphones on and looking straight ahead. 99% of approaches are like that. I think most people who go to the gym would agree most women have their headphones on and have this natural b1tch shield on.

 

[backseatjuan]

Sht man, stop going bigdave and internalize. You make it appear tou are the sht and don’t need correction. I’m here eager to suggest why it happens what happens and you are acting crazy. Crazy is defined by doing same sht and expecting different results.

Man, I am not against you.

If you feel like you know better thize the star.

 

[corrector]

I suspect you are looking for a fail-safe way. Stop trying to circumvent failure. Do not compromise your approach. EVER. Approach head-on and be willing to embrace and learn from rejections.

I may not plan for that for a Gym visit though. It sounds way too dramatic. If I feel somehow there is a high-stakes issue going to the GYM then I may not feel motivated to go. If I think going to the GYM is going to be a just doing my work-out and getting out without some high-stakes drama then I'm more likely go go.

If I'm deliberately wanting to be as you are saying, then day-game mall approaches, bookstore, or some group where there are common interests and it's socially acceptable to approach people (i.e. like after church service, or some other type of group) would be better suited to that type of advice since at least there is an expectation of people to make social contact without feeling creepy about it.

Obviously the Gym approaches seem to be more motivated on the idea that it's more efficient, on some level, to try something WHILE I'm working out, without breaching my comfort-zone at a level where it would factor into my calculations of going to the Gym in the first place, which is often very borderline.

DJs learn and build through failure, much like when you go to the gym and lift weights: the muscles in your body must fail in order to become stronger.

That is the right attitude.

Eye contact/smile/hello is certainly NOT fail safe. Nothing is. You should expect 9 out of 10 to reject and/or ignore the attention you give, and you need to get to the point that their ignoring or rejecting doesn't butt-hurt you.

I thought you meant something else. So, I should do this I guess one threadmill apart from the lady. Don't go to the one next to her, maybe one just a bit away and try to make contact there. If she looks friendly enough then move to the next threadmill?

I smile at women and a lot of them will not smile back, but that's OK because it is their issue NOT mine.

Ok, I didn't know that.

Of course with practice you will get better at making eye contact and smiling and saying hello (and it does require practice and repetition), but no matter how practiced you are and no matter how many you make contact with you will NEVER attract them all.

Point taken.

The best thing you can do, in my opinion, is go to the gym and actually make training your sole priority.

Point taken.

Bring 100% effort and laser focus to the gym. Headphones on the whole time. No eye contact with ANYBODY. Bring no time or expectation for women or conversations. You are there to WORK and you are not going to allow anybody to interfere or comprise your goal. This tenacious mindset in the pursuit of your goals, by the way, is what radiates confidence and makes womens' panties melt.

That would make me feel great about watching TV in the gym without worrying about that being anti-social as far as approaching women are concerned.

 

[corrector]

Sht man, stop going bigdave and internalize. You make it appear tou are the sht and don’t need correction

How do you figure that? I said I'm not gay,

. I’m here eager to suggest why it happens what happens and you are acting crazy. Crazy is defined by doing same sht and expecting different results.

How am I acting crazy? By saying I'm straight? Are you gay? Why are you harping about other guys and saying I'm crazy if I don't approach men?

 

[backseatjuan]

Well every 3rd person is gay. I am not gay, @Spaz is not gay. Dudeeeeee. Wtf.

 

[corrector]

Well every 3rd person is gay. I am not gay, @Spaz is not gay. Dudeeeeee. Wtf.

If every 3rd person is gay then advice on approach guys to see if they get creeped out too is a bit silly. Suppose I approach someone that actually is gay and comes on to me. Then I'll be the one that's creeped out and leaving the gym.