Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

I get farther with women when I'm nice

SargeMaximus

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Haha. I get that. This stuff definitely takes energy and you gotta be in the mood for it. Sometimes I can't be bothered with the whole process and I just want to bark orders at her - "B1tch, get on my d1ck now and stop wasting my fvcking time" because I know that's what they truly want, but you gotta play the Game unfortunately so she can assess your value and your ability to make her cl!t tingle.

After the bang tho, I don't put any effort in. She must be a Slave and do everything I say, or she's Out. And even if she's prepared to be a slave I usually get bored of her within a day or 2. Women are completely inter-changable for me. I wouldn't say that all women are the same, but they are definitely all very similar at core. They are all replaceable. They are all depraved and want to be spanked and brutally fvcked when you unlock it in them. They also want you to dump them after you brutally fvck them because then you've proved you're above her and she's had a confirmed Alpha Fux. Women love having their hearts broken. It's sick.

In the end, this is how women want to be treated. So I never feel bad about it. My experiences with women have made me what I am today. If women wanted "nice and kind Man" then I'd give them that. But they don't want it. I'm actually naturally a fairly kind guy, so it would be way easier for me to be kind to women. But it just doesn't work. In fact, it's disgusting to women.
Yeah I can relate to this. I’m Still working on my alpha energy. The problem is I spent a lot of time developing my busdhist core and got a lot of power from that but Buddhism is quite beta I believe, or at least omega. Oh well, it is what it is.

It’s the same in sales. I used to get bent out of shape with how things worked but I told myself that when people started rewarding kind and nice then I would be that, till then, I’d do what works.

I used my sales style to develop my pua style but something is still missing. I believe it’s that I keep getting back into that “reasonable man” rut with the hotter girls: but I have tried to be the alpha heartless chad and that hasn’t worked either with those types so I’m still searching for a way that will work for me
 

Grounded eagle

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I know this is hard for people to believe, but it's true. I also notice this with my friends as well. None of them are "bad boys" or act anything remotely resembling this forum, and get hot girls.

This seems to be an internet thing of trying to be a bad boy, calling a woman out on their behavior, putting them in their place. I have done this before and it doesn't work. Women think I'm an a$$hole and want nothing to do with me.

Same thing with my male co-workers. They are nice guys, and get girls. I've been around them plenty, and seen them interact with women who are very receptive to their advances, and end up in long-term relationships as a result.

What's interesting is I also know a few guys who are jerks, and I never see them with any girls.

A lot of this seems to be internet advice that never translates into real life.
You must act blue pilled while having red pill ideals and beliefs,rather than acting red pilled and having blue pilled ideals and beliefs. You won’t get punked.
 

RangerMIke

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What's working is not your "kindness", it's your boundary setting and walking away when she's not complying. That's what is getting you laid.
I agree. What I am suggesting is the 'kindness' does not hurt you. Really having a pleasant kind respectful demeanor is actually leading by example, women will mirror your behavior if they like you. Without actually setting boundaries, your behavior dictates how you expect her to behave.

If you don't like your chick to be late or flaky, then you CAN NOT be late or flaky yourself. If you don't like her lying about sh1t, you have to be honest, don't like her talking to other dudes then you don't talk to other women.

The man walks the path: the woman decides if she wants to walk that with him. One thing to understand is that a woman's nature does not change unless she goes through a significant emotional event, she might be bending too much to your will and she can't keep it up. When this happens you just have to walk away. I'll tell you the one thing that I do not like from women... and that is flaky behavior, I don't hate them for it because honestly there are so many men out there that put up with this sh1t that most women think it's okay. I do not like it when they try to change plans that I have made, isn't ready to go on time, or cancels out at the last minute. My attitude is that if there is something she wants to do, she can make the plans and pay for it, invite me, and I'm happy to go along. I am NEVER late or cancel, unless I have a damned good reason. If a woman can not be this way, I'm not calling her anymore, it's that simple.
 

Robert28

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Thinking back over all the women I’ve dated or that have been legit interested in me, not a one of them has ever told me I’m “nice”. They’ve given me other compliments but nice was never one of them. Now, the women that have rejected me or friendzoned me? “Nice” always came up it seems like, came up constantly. “You seem NICE, but…..”.
 

mrgoodstuff

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You can "be nice" to women if you deal with ones who are sexually attracted into you and their interest level is super high. I wrote on one of the AMS threads that the "a$$hole" way isn't the way for everyone, because it would repress their natural personality. That same personality turns some women on.
 

Modern Man Advice

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I know this is hard for people to believe, but it's true. I also notice this with my friends as well. None of them are "bad boys" or act anything remotely resembling this forum, and get hot girls.

This seems to be an internet thing of trying to be a bad boy, calling a woman out on their behavior, putting them in their place. I have done this before and it doesn't work. Women think I'm an a$$hole and want nothing to do with me.

Same thing with my male co-workers. They are nice guys, and get girls. I've been around them plenty, and seen them interact with women who are very receptive to their advances, and end up in long-term relationships as a result.

What's interesting is I also know a few guys who are jerks, and I never see them with any girls.

A lot of this seems to be internet advice that never translates into real life.
I wrote an article about this but basically neither works long-term. There is a balance (grey area) in between both that only a few men master.

Being nice will def get you closer to girls short term. Being a jerk (in a disrespectful way which is what most guys confuse with) will eventually push them away.

However, being "nice" can often scream insecure or not deserving of respect, and that is a turn-off.

The key is recognizing what type of "nice" and "jerk" you are portraying. Like another member stated, there is a fine difference between "nice" and being kind or good-natured. Kind/good-natured has a vibe that will have people, in general, gravitate towards you. The good kind of "jerk" is the one that simply has a higher purpose and women are not it, so they simply are not a priority in his life. And it shows. Doesn't mean he doesn't respect women, it is just that simply he doesn't put them on a pedestal or has a never-ending thirst for them.

Hope this helps.


Modern Man Advice
 

mrgoodstuff

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I think whomever said women prefer a man be "kind-hearted" versus "nice" was spot on. And when I say kind-hearted I mean generally, kind to everyone, not just her.

I don't trust "nice," nice is contrived and phony imho. Nice is how men act when they have an "agenda" and want something disingenuous from me.

Women want REAL, at least I do, whatever "real" entails. Do NOT kiss my ass, or otherwise "white knight" me, that is the type of "nice" that is disingenuous and contrived and turns me off REAL fast.

If you're pissed, get pissed! Show true emotion, don't hide it for fear of appearing like an a-hole. I don't like a-hole behavior but I much prefer that over phony niceness.
There is real niceness cause some folk share due to abundance.
 

Robert28

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I think whomever said women prefer a man be "kind-hearted" versus "nice" was spot on. And when I say kind-hearted I mean generally, kind to everyone, not just her.

I don't trust "nice," nice is contrived and phony imho. Nice is how men act when they have an "agenda" and want something disingenuous from me.

Women want REAL, at least I do, whatever "real" entails. Do NOT kiss my ass, or otherwise "white knight" me, that is the type of "nice" that is disingenuous and contrived and turns me off REAL fast.

If you're pissed, get pissed! Show true emotion, don't hide it for fear of appearing like an a-hole. I don't like a-hole behavior but I much prefer that over phony niceness.
I’ll give you a difference between “nice” and kind hearted. A girl I dated a year ago who ended up breaking up with me for who knows what. She reached out to me a couple months back because she had a flat tire and was at her wits end because she couldn’t get in touch with someone. Coincidentally her now boyfriend didn’t know how to do it and was at work anyways doing whatever it is he does. So she’s like “I know this is very random but you’re the only guy I know that could do stuff like this. I understand if you don’t want to or won’t respond but I’d really appreciate your help if you can”. Fvck it, I’m in the area and it won’t take 30 mins. So I show up and change it, she’s very appreciative and I know she feels tense about us being around each other because of how things ended between us. It’s hot out here too, like 90 degrees. Tire is fixed and I don’t stick around, she does thank me several times though and even text me again later “thank you again, you will never know how much I appreciated you today. You look great btw.” I’m not taking that bait. A “nice guy” would have expected something in return, a kind hearted guy would just help out someone who he once cared about. I just hope she calls someone else for her future favors and doesn’t make it a habit, maybe date guys that know how to change flats.lol
 

monkeybrain

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Its interesting because outside of the context of engaging with a Women being "nice" or kind is usually the way to go. I think you should be kind to a server or an attendant. If a cop pulls you over being a ****head is not a good idea. So there's a time and a place for this kind of behavior, and I think its distinct from the nice guy trope. I think you can do all this while maintaining a masculine frame. I think to be successful with women you need to have a REAL internalized masculine frame that may have flavors of "nice" or bad boy depending on what is needed.
 

BillyPilgrim

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You reward female compliance with occasional kindness - make it unpredictable. Once she expects you to be "kind" then it becomes meaningless.

Kindness must be earned, and you reward her with your kindness in unpredictable ways.

Too much much kindness/empathy/positivity is feminine and it will turn her off. And if you dish out kindness freely then she'll just think you're a softie.
Good post. Agreed.
 

Bokanovsky

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I know this is hard for people to believe, but it's true. I also notice this with my friends as well. None of them are "bad boys" or act anything remotely resembling this forum, and get hot girls.

This seems to be an internet thing of trying to be a bad boy, calling a woman out on their behavior, putting them in their place. I have done this before and it doesn't work. Women think I'm an a$$hole and want nothing to do with me.
I think that it depends on how you define "bad boy". If you are talking about a roid monkey who can't speak in full sentences then I agree, those guys don't get hot girls. If you are talking about some douchebag who acts like a jerk but does not possess the requisite high social status, those guys don't get any tail either.

"Bad boy" is really a euphemism for a guy who is exciting. If you can be exciting while being [relatively] nice, go for it. I would say, however, that it is damn near impossible to be seen as exciting if you are a spineless softie type of nice guy. Women are repulsed by that.
 

Robert28

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"I'm not attracted to Power", says the Woman.

Guys, case in point. Dating advice from women is always very amusing, but it shouldn't be taken seriously.
Whenever a woman gives dating advice just George Costanza it. Do the opposite.
 

Robert28

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Read my subsequent post and then answer. I agree with you guys!! lol

But that goes right over your head for the mere fact I am a woman.

Too damn funny.
Honestly you seem like a cool girl from your posts I’ve read on here. Don’t let it go to your head though because I still will never trust you (been there done that, got the scars to prove it) but you do seem cool.
 

AttackFormation

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Read my subsequent post and then answer. I agree with you guys!! lol

But that goes right over your head for the mere fact I am a woman.

Too damn funny.
How old are you and what brought you here?
 

AttackFormation

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30s and I heard about this site through a friend, and thought it would be an interesting diversion from the blue pill site I am also a member of but trying to wean myself off of because that site is completely toxic!!!
Which 30? i would like to be exact.

Right, so you did not have any particular thought about men in general or men in your life? and it was more like hearing of a new movie?
 

AttackFormation

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I am not really sure what you mean when you say "particular thought about men," all men are different, some men I respect, some men I don't. I don't make generalizations like that. I judge each man individually.

I'm 30.
Haha right, that was a good "by demonstration" answer to that question.

Right, i thought youd be older, but with how you answered the first question it makes sense that you are "just" 30. If you were older, i would have expected your answer to the first question to be different.
 

AttackFormation

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Thank you.

Bolded, how so? In what way?
This is the first time i try to explain this to a woman, ill try to word it decently. If you end up not really knowing what i mean that's no problem, that in itself would just be a further good answer.

It is my perception that women dont think about men and dating in the same way that men think about women and dating. My guess is that because of the abundance of easy options they are given, women dont need to have an analytical approach to dating, dissociated from their own impulsive feelings and their own limited perspective. They can simply keep a carefree, instinctive attitude to it, which is of course what anyone would prefer to having to be analytical.

The few women who do experience an "epiphany" and begin to analyse patterns and considerations other than their own moods and anecdotes, have seemed to be women who are at least in their mid 30s.
 
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SargeMaximus

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The most Alpha concept in Buddhism is the idea of "impermanence". Nothing lasts forever. Guys lose when they try to make things permanent (with women). Nothing is permanent. Live in the moment, enjoy each second of your time, because it can all change in a heartbeat.

Other Buddhism concepts like Karma etc are very beta.
Actually karma simply means “result”. It’s not a punishment for sins or anything like that.

And yeah Buddhism has a few powerful things including outcome Independence.
 

DonJuanjr

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The "older" women I know who, as you said, analyze patterns other than their own natural instincts are the women who struggle the most from what I have observed.
They don't struggle because of their analytical nature. They struggle because they are not valuable any longer.
 
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