"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I finally recognized my problem

T

Tortendieb

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I can't relax around a girl I'm attracted to. I mean I'm no beginner, I've read all kinds of stuff, I've been getting laid, but I'm just now returning from a date and I noticed it.

It seems like I never genuinely laugh at a girl's joke, etc... that I have this hawk-like stare - you know, when you're doing something really difficult and concentrating. I think that's what makes me seem very distant and has been putting some of them off... because if I'm not relaxed then she probably wouldn't either. I think that's what's keeping me from getting good rapport.

I probably try too hard to make it right... on the other hand, I have some female friends where I'm totally relaxed with, and it's really easy to "connect" with them. I've had some of them fall for me too... so I think it's really all about not making that much of an effort.

But if I don't make an effort I don't meet girls and no dates happen... any advice?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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bigneil

bigneil

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That is natural early on, but you must desensitize yourself to them by saturating yourself with the presence of beautiful women. Even time in a strip bar can help there. Lean back, don't cross your arms, and just ask them questions to get them to talk about themselves.
 
D

drf408

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I can completely relate to this. I have no problem meeting women, but the few I run into that I am absolutely attracted to, I completely go lame. Really sucks. I am hanging out with a cute girl now, however this is a girl that came up to me, I always feel as if I'm settling because I don't go for what I really want.

I ran into this girl I would see around who would smile, stare, I don't think I've ever been as attracted to a girl. She stopped me at the end of the night at club and said hi and that I look familiar. I turned into an idiot that couldn't even just ask her name and leave it at that. Didn't help that I was drunk as #%$. I stared at her, pointed at her, and then just said the name of the place she works where I've seen her. She looked at me, turned around without saying a word and left.

I've seen her a couple times since, including last night and she does everything possible to not look my way. This is only one example, I do this 90% of the time when it comes to the ones I really want. Not sure how to reverse this but one tip I can give, getting drunk will not help you :)
 
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