"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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I finally recognized my problem

Tortendieb

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I can't relax around a girl I'm attracted to. I mean I'm no beginner, I've read all kinds of stuff, I've been getting laid, but I'm just now returning from a date and I noticed it.

It seems like I never genuinely laugh at a girl's joke, etc... that I have this hawk-like stare - you know, when you're doing something really difficult and concentrating. I think that's what makes me seem very distant and has been putting some of them off... because if I'm not relaxed then she probably wouldn't either. I think that's what's keeping me from getting good rapport.

I probably try too hard to make it right... on the other hand, I have some female friends where I'm totally relaxed with, and it's really easy to "connect" with them. I've had some of them fall for me too... so I think it's really all about not making that much of an effort.

But if I don't make an effort I don't meet girls and no dates happen... any advice?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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bigneil

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That is natural early on, but you must desensitize yourself to them by saturating yourself with the presence of beautiful women. Even time in a strip bar can help there. Lean back, don't cross your arms, and just ask them questions to get them to talk about themselves.
 

drf408

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I can completely relate to this. I have no problem meeting women, but the few I run into that I am absolutely attracted to, I completely go lame. Really sucks. I am hanging out with a cute girl now, however this is a girl that came up to me, I always feel as if I'm settling because I don't go for what I really want.

I ran into this girl I would see around who would smile, stare, I don't think I've ever been as attracted to a girl. She stopped me at the end of the night at club and said hi and that I look familiar. I turned into an idiot that couldn't even just ask her name and leave it at that. Didn't help that I was drunk as #%$. I stared at her, pointed at her, and then just said the name of the place she works where I've seen her. She looked at me, turned around without saying a word and left.

I've seen her a couple times since, including last night and she does everything possible to not look my way. This is only one example, I do this 90% of the time when it comes to the ones I really want. Not sure how to reverse this but one tip I can give, getting drunk will not help you :)
 
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